Age and relationships

[Statler Waldorf]

I've seen this girl around the place before and we have a lot of mutual friends, so I got talking with her over Facebook. I think she's seen my band play before, so she knew who I was, which made it really easy to chat.

We've been talking for a few days now and I think I'm falling for her. I also feel like she's playing hard to get, so it seems like there's some good chemistry that might lead to something. Except.. I asked her what 18+ shows she has been to because the only venues she kept talking about were the all ages ones.

It turns out she's 18 in 10 more weeks. I'm 23 at the start of next year... my heart pretty much sunk after realising just how much younger she is than me, which has been happening waay too often lately (where do girls my age hide?!).

What do you guys think of the classic 18 year old dating a 23 year old guy? Permissible or somewhat disturbing?

If there’s a connection there then I think you should see where it leads. The age difference will be less and less significant the older you get, so if it doesn’t seem to be an issue now then I doubt it will be a problem later on.

[FallentoReason]

Thanks for the thoughtful responses everyone. I definitely feel a lot less like a villain for barking up this tree.

I think she's very mature and that's why in my mind I was thinking she must be 19, maybe 20. Also, there were a lot of coincidental things like we both went to the same youth group (but never realised it) and we're both at uni (but it must be her first year). So I just kept thinking she's definitely close® to my age.

For those of you wondering what the law is here: 16 and over and you can be banged. 18 and over and you can get yourself a pint
I think I'll be a lot more comfortable with it all once she hits 18. Min, I think I'll have to read a magazine until then :p

[Minimalist]

[FallentoReason]

Actually, the prospect of having to read a magazine doesn't really bother me anymore!

[Foxaèr]

What do you guys think of the classic 18 year old dating a 23 year old guy? Permissible or somewhat disturbing?

Personally, I see nothing wrong with it. Heck, I even see nothing wrong with a twenty-five year old dating a sixteen year old.

[Captain Colostomy]

You know you're getting old when your first thought isn't 'I'd hit that!', but 'I'm glad all my kids are boys'.

Oy vey.

[popeyespappy]

What do you guys think of the classic 18 year old dating a 23 year old guy? Permissible or somewhat disturbing?

Personally, I see nothing wrong with it. Heck, I even see nothing wrong with a twenty-five year old dating a sixteen year old.

I see problems with most twenty-five year olds dating sixteen year olds. While I'm sure there are exceptions most sixteen year old people are not mature enough to resist the type of mental manipulation an unscrupulous older "friend" is capable of exerting. At sixteen most people should limit dating to others closer to their own age.

[Praetorian]

I think you're fine. I had 2 similar relationships, but to somewhat echo what Popeye said, we were in such different stages of life (I was in college and working, they were just graduating HS) and such different frames of mind that neither worked out. I don't regret either though.

However, when I told my current girlfriend about these past relationships, she found it rather disgusting. She thinks it's taking advantage to date someone in a different stage of life than you since an older person usually has more money and experience. I disagree, but people's opinion on age gap varies a lot. I got some funny looks while I was out with one of my exes, for sure.

[NoraBrimstone]

I don't see what the problem is with an 18 year old and a 23 year old. I was with a 22 year old when I was 17, and we were together for nearly 6 years (till I got bored and cheated... a lot)

[FallentoReason]

Whelp, I've decided to go for it.

First date is tomorrow night