What's everyone up to right now?

[Kitty Galore]

Ouch CM. That is a pickle. I wouldn't know what to do. Mom isn't really thinking about all of the repercussions of joining you. Sorry, that sucks.

Hugs.



Still congested, and waiting for xray results.

[thesummerqueen]

I'm a bitch to my family in those situations. People who want to join better either pay their way, or deal with the choices I make because I can't afford them. If they want extra, they pay.

[pocaracas]

It seems CM needs to tell some things to get mother, but isn't having the necessary courage...

[Tonus]

It's a tough line to cross. Took me a good bit of introspection and some changes in the way I approach life, but it lowered my blood pressure a lot more than I thought it would.

[SteelCurtain]

---

Time to complain:

I'm going to visit my sister in early June(ish) and my mom decided she wanted to come with me, so what was a trip that would cost me a single plane ticket (I'd crash on my sister's floor) is now a plane ticket and a shared hotel room.

My mom doesn't want to stay in a hostel and she, ideally, wants to stay near my sister, which means Upper West Side, or at a minimum on the island of Manhattan. The problem is that Manhattan is fucking expensive and she doesn't want to pay $200 a night for a place she would deem "decent" and doesn't want to stay in a hostel, and I can't afford a $200/night hotel even if we split the cost.

She doesn't want to help me look for places to stay, she want me to do it and ask my sister for help (a sister who has two jobs and is going to school and doesn't exactly have time to hotel-search).

At this point we're either going to go to New York for a long weekend, which doesn't justify the price of the airline ticket, or we're there for a week but are out $1500-2000 for a hotel in addition to the cost of the airline ticket.

(And just for clarification, we can't stay with my sister; she is a live-in nanny and doesn't have room for two guests - I felt like I was pushing my lucky staying on her floor)

Color me annoyed.

---

Get the numbers together. If your mom wants to stay in a hotel, she can stay in a hotel. You're staying on your sister's floor. Your mom will have to make her own plans if she wants to go along with the trip. You hate to be harsh, but that's the reality of the situation. Maybe your mom doesn't see the difference, so show her.

"It will cost me $450 for a plane ticket plus lets say $300 for spending money.

If you come, it will cost me $450 for a plane ticket, $300 for spending money, $800 for a hotel, and an extra $100 for traveling to and from the hotel. I cannot afford a $900 additional cost for this trip. My budget included the original expenses. So I am going---I am staying on my sister's floor. You are welcome to come, but you'll have to do your own thing with the hotel and extra travel."

[Angrboda]

Drinking Egyptian licorice tea and catching up on Rational AKD's idealism thread. (Or is that his solipsism thread. Wait. Only I exist. I keep forgetting that.)

[thesummerqueen]

Also, I know it's hard to have those conversations, CM, but really, you shouldn't have to go into debt - not even for family (barring legit emergencies).

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about saying no.

[Clueless Morgan]

It seems CM needs to tell some things to get mother, but isn't having the necessary courage...

I'm not confrontational IRL. Especially not with my parents, or, more to the point, with my dad who was the one stirring shit up this morning

Get the numbers together.

I talked her down to a 2-bed hostel room (so basically a private room) with a shared bath that, while not exactly my kind of affordable (i.e. free), is at least a compromise.

So it looks like my original vacation budget of my christmas bonus has been expanded to include my (hopefully good sized) tax return. I guess I'd better get on that...

It sucks not being confrontational.

---

Also, I know it's hard to have those conversations, CM, but really, you shouldn't have to go into debt - not even for family (barring legit emergencies).

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about saying no.

I wouldn't be going into debt, I just wouldn't be saving any money toward other shit I wanted to do.

[Angrboda]

It's easy. Just post this on her facebook page.

---

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[Norman Humann]

I'm sitting next to a radiator, under a blanket. And I'm still cold.