What's everyone up to right now?

[Losty]

No medical breakthroughs.  My condition is muscular-skeletal.  Deformities, missing muscle groups, etc.  Barring my brain in a Terminator body, I'm not going to improve.

Cyborg

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with this. I'm just sitting here trying to find comforting words and drawing a lot of blanks. I just want to give you big hugs. Cleavage hugs maybe?

I'm not sure if flirty humor is appropriate here but it's all I've got. Love you Kevin

[KevinM1]

Thanks everyone.

I honestly think I'm bipolar. I was in a great mood for the last couple weeks, and it's all come crashing down in the last 48 hours or so. No reason, no trigger that I can pinpoint, just almost euphoria followed immediately by a pervasive sense of utter worthlessness. Almost like a light switch. I can't explain it. I don't know if I just get good at distracting/deluding myself for long stretches of time or what.

I've been like this for years, too. But the crashing has become a lot more intense over the last few years. I'm not the crying type, but I've been on the verge several times the last couple of days. And I did a little when writing that long post on the last page.

And for the last few years, every night before I fall asleep, I wonder if getting cancer would be the best thing for me. There's a ton of cancer in my family on both sides. My oldest brother is a two time survivor himself. How fucked up is that?

I'm not trying to drag this out for attention or anything. And I certainly don't want to kill the overall mood of the thread. But maybe writing some of this down and getting feedback will help. Or not. I don't know. I'll shut up now.

Oh, a personal request: to the people I've friended on FB, please don't post anything about this on my timeline. That'd just cause family drama I'm not equipped to handle right now. Thanks.

[Losty]

Have considered speaking to a psychiatrist?

[KevinM1]

Have considered speaking to a psychiatrist?

I probably should, but seeing another doctor isn't very appealing even if it's the best thing for me. It just reinforces the feeling of being a patient rather than a person.

[Losty]

Have considered speaking to a psychiatrist?

I probably should, but seeing another doctor isn't very appealing even if it's the best thing for me.  It just reinforces the feeling of being a patient rather than a person.

I hate to be that mother hen, but I just can't help myself. I know the feeling of ugh yet another doctor, and I know I'm not in your situation remotely but I have my own demons. For me, taking care of my mental health has truly made my life worth living. I just think it's something to really consider.

[c172]

I'm seeing a professional (LCSW) that does Soul Collage, but at times we just talk or I meditate with her help. I've come to know much more about myself as a person and maybe how to proceed with life. I'm not sure how are mobility or social levels compare, but just throwing that out there. For me, a professional mind to bounce ideas off of has been a very good thing. I've maybe had to swallow a little pride along the way, but I'm much more in control f myself now.

[SteelCurtain]

I, for one, am rooting for Cyborg Kevin.

I'm getting on your good side now, because when you take the fuck over, I wanna be your Dwight Schrute.

[Little lunch]

Losty, I don't want to speak for Kevin but cleavage hugs would be appropriate and can I have one too if your just handing them out willy nilly. :-)

[ignoramus]

Relax guys, single file please... Losty's got plenty to go around ...

[Jackalope]

Have considered speaking to a psychiatrist?

I probably should, but seeing another doctor isn't very appealing even if it's the best thing for me.  It just reinforces the feeling of being a patient rather than a person.

I get that. Obviously I'm not in your shoes, but I can imagine how you might feel based on what you've described. It just might be worth feeling a little bit more like a patient if it helps stabilize your mood. If you do have bipolar disorder, I can say from personal experience that treatment is worth it for me.

Whatever you decide is best for you, I hope you feel better.

If you every need someone to talk to, my PM inbox is always open.