What's everyone up to right now?

[Little lunch]

I just put my little girl to bed and while we were lying there she asked me if nanna and poppa(my ex's parents) liked me.
I asked why she said that and it's because when they talk about me they use angry voices.
I told her that because they are special to her then they are special to me and that I'm sure they feel the same way and she might be just mistaken.
Now I'm wondering how I can stop them from confusing my daughter, but in a peaceful way.
It's not fair. Kids have enough on their plate without worrying about the relationships between the ones they love.

[Alex K]

I'm not sure whether you should bring it up with them.
But you had the strength not to ask her what they were talking about you in their angry voices? Very laudable

[Little lunch]

Well, five years ago I was diagnosed with psychotic depression.
When my ex took my daughter away and after 3 months of no contact, I turned up at her parent's doorstep and said if I don't get to see my daughter they're all dead.
Ended up with a DVO with fourteen names on it.
I have been a model citizen, respectful and nice, doing everything and anything I'm told ever since.
So, I don't expect them to trust or even like me ever again.
But that's not my daughter's problem.
I was told it's not all about me anymore and I took that to heart.
I'm prepared to wear whatever they throw at me for my past mistakes.
Those mistakes don't belong to my daughter.
But thanks for saying that Alex. :-)

[Joods]

Kids being put in the middle is never okay. The fact that she sees them speaking about you means that she's all to aware of her surroundings. Document that but continue being the model person you are. Document each and every time your child brings this up, but never speak bad about them when she could hear it. Be the one who never has a bad thing to say. If you ever have to go back to court for a custody modification, depending on her age, she may have to speak with the judge. He will no doubt ask her if mommy and daddy speak bad about each other. I don't know if your ex does it, but you don't and that's the key. Don't give them something they can use against you that they are also doing. Let them hang themselves with their own rope.

Matter of fact, I wouldn't even ask them to stop. They are grown adults. If they can't see the error in what they are doing, then if your ex lives with them, you go back to court and get custody of your child.

[Little lunch]

I don't want her not to see her mum or grandparents.
I just want her to have a normal, uncomplicated childhood.
Besides, going to court costs $40000 up until the end of the first day.
I'd have to sell my flat to get that sort of money.
I have a huge criminal record, which includes interstate drug trafficking and assault.
It's good advice for normal people,Nymphadora, thanks.
My girl is a smart cookie. I have to trust her to make head or tails of what's what.
I'd just rather she didn't have to.

[Angrboda]

Kevin, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. I can relate to how you feel. I have been depressed for three years, and I just see my life as pointless. However I know that other people manage with disabilities and such and manage to live happy productive lives, so I know that it's my brain getting in the way. If my brain can be the problem, it also means that a happy productive life is within reach, just a matter of changing my brain. So while you're depressed and feeling that your life is pointless, just remember that it doesn't always have to feel that way. Things can change about the way you feel. Not to be pollyanna or anything, but remember that a good day is always a possibility, in spite of your handicaps and condition.

[Angrboda]

Forgot to post what I'm up to today. Drinking cherry limeade flavored water and looking forward to another day with nothing to do. *sigh*

[Joods]

I don't want her not to see her mum or grandparents.
I just want her to have a normal, uncomplicated childhood.
Besides, going to court costs $40000 up until the end of the first day.
I'd have to sell my flat to get that sort of money.
I have a huge criminal record, which includes interstate drug trafficking and assault.
It's good advice for normal people,Nymphadora, thanks.
My girl is a smart cookie. I have to trust her to make head or tails of what's what.
I'd just rather she didn't have to.

Sounds complicated. I've done all of my own legal stuff for the last 11 years where custody of my youngest is concerned. It's never easy. She's 13 now and has told the judge that she doesn't like being put in the middle. My ex recently tried to sway her through guilt by telling her that if she wanted to live with me again, he'd end up losing his house because he'd have to pay me child support. I made sure the judge knew about that. She confirmed it when she spoke with the judge. It didn't change his mind, though and my ex still has majority custody, even though I've done nothing wrong. 

The system is not designed to do what is in the best interests of the children, despite the fact that that is what they are supposed to do. They get bogged down with custody cases and decide that they are going to just push them through without looking at each case on an individual basis. They give the kid to the parent with the lawyer and the money to pay. In that case, it's my ex. 

My heart hurts for you and your child.

[Little lunch]

I'm sorry to hear that, Nymphadora.
It's always the people with money who win but not very often the kids.

Jormungander, I've been listening to you lately and I remember you talking about your disabilities a while back. I'm always impressed by what you have to say. Always. :-)

[Losty]

I feel lucky that I don't have to deal with any of that. My kids haven't seen my ex or any of his family in close to 4 years. My youngest daughter has never even met them. Every once in a while I feel the faintest twinge of guilt for denying them this half of their family...but then I remember and the guilt fades just as quickly.
Kids should never be in the middle of grown up problems. I'm sorry you guys are dealing with that. *hugs*