Let me impart some wisdom I have caught flying by in my ADHD-riddled brain.
If you are pretending to be a skater in order to impress a girl, do not wear a helmet, because skaters are dumb shits.
If you are pretending to be into motorcycles in order to impress a girl, do not actually ride one, and if you do, it really won't matter if you wear a helmet. There's a reason why EMTs call those things "donor-mobiles." Seriously, you're smarter than that, and also probably not a middle-class white male in his 40s having a midlife crisis. I'm guessing.
LDS is the Morman church. But LSD is a drug that makes people trip balls that really smart people have taken that they say helped them come up with genius ideas. But you are not as smart as they are, so all that will happen to you is you will trip balls.
Cooties means "germs", but I'm pretty sure it's also a word grown-ups use in front of kids that is code for "STDs".
Gay sex is better. According to a study on sexuality, both gay men and lesbians report being more sexually satisfied than their heterosexual counterparts. The difference is REALLY big for women. Poor straight girls.
Heterosexuals shouldn't be allowed to adopt or produce children. In the typical heterosexual household, at least one parent doesn't give a shit about their child, except to the extent that they can be controlled, used to get money from the state, offer vicarious experiences satisfying their own fantasies, and reflect positively on them. This is harmful to children. The only data I know of that supports these statements is that it has been shown that children raised by same-sex couples are typically better adjusted than ones raised by opposite-sex couples. BUT THERE IS NO DATA I KNOW OF THAT IS COMPARABLE ON SINGLE PARENTING! RAAAAAAAAAAGE!
If the holodecks in Star Trek existed, I'm pretty sure it would be used exclusively for sexual purposes. If Star Trek medicine existed, I'm pretty sure BDSM would be a lot more common and go a lot further because almost any common injury can be healed almost instantly in Star Trek. If tribbles existed, I would have one and spay or neuter it immediately. If Klingons existed, I would totally hit that. If Starfleet existed, I would join basically so I could screw a bunch of different species alien chicks. Isn't that why Kirk joined? (If you don't believe in Kirk/Spock slash?) Shut up, there was wisdom in this paragraph somewhere.
If you are pretending to be a skater in order to impress a girl, do not wear a helmet, because skaters are dumb shits.
If you are pretending to be into motorcycles in order to impress a girl, do not actually ride one, and if you do, it really won't matter if you wear a helmet. There's a reason why EMTs call those things "donor-mobiles." Seriously, you're smarter than that, and also probably not a middle-class white male in his 40s having a midlife crisis. I'm guessing.
LDS is the Morman church. But LSD is a drug that makes people trip balls that really smart people have taken that they say helped them come up with genius ideas. But you are not as smart as they are, so all that will happen to you is you will trip balls.
Cooties means "germs", but I'm pretty sure it's also a word grown-ups use in front of kids that is code for "STDs".
Gay sex is better. According to a study on sexuality, both gay men and lesbians report being more sexually satisfied than their heterosexual counterparts. The difference is REALLY big for women. Poor straight girls.
Heterosexuals shouldn't be allowed to adopt or produce children. In the typical heterosexual household, at least one parent doesn't give a shit about their child, except to the extent that they can be controlled, used to get money from the state, offer vicarious experiences satisfying their own fantasies, and reflect positively on them. This is harmful to children. The only data I know of that supports these statements is that it has been shown that children raised by same-sex couples are typically better adjusted than ones raised by opposite-sex couples. BUT THERE IS NO DATA I KNOW OF THAT IS COMPARABLE ON SINGLE PARENTING! RAAAAAAAAAAGE!
If the holodecks in Star Trek existed, I'm pretty sure it would be used exclusively for sexual purposes. If Star Trek medicine existed, I'm pretty sure BDSM would be a lot more common and go a lot further because almost any common injury can be healed almost instantly in Star Trek. If tribbles existed, I would have one and spay or neuter it immediately. If Klingons existed, I would totally hit that. If Starfleet existed, I would join basically so I could screw a bunch of different species alien chicks. Isn't that why Kirk joined? (If you don't believe in Kirk/Spock slash?) Shut up, there was wisdom in this paragraph somewhere.
Good one TC.
