do u think people think im lame for not having a gf?

[Doubting Thomas]

To toot my own horn in a thread about Leo: I am a KILLER wingwoman. I am GREAT at meeting girls and then introducing them to my male friends and then getting a headache and having to go home, so sorry, too bad.

That's awesome. I wish I'd known someone like you when I was young and single.

To Leo: Don't worry about not having a girlfriend. I was single for almost 10 years before I met my wife. I know what it's like to be lonely, but don't let it consume you. Women can smell desperation and over-eagerness, and it puts them off. Just find confidence in yourself and even though you might be completely nervous and have butterflies in your stomach, act like the date doesn't matter. That's not to say act like a jerk, but don't come off as "OMG this first date has to work because I really need a girlfriend!" A first date is just getting to know each other, and there shouldn't be a lot of pressure on the both of you. You'll date a lot before you find "the one," and even then you might be in a few relationships before you find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[Clueless Morgan]

You want to talk lame, I'm a case study.

- I'm single.
- I have two cats (my family jokes that I'm a cat lady already and one of me dearest ambitions for my old age is to be The Cat Lady :p).
- I'm turning 29 in a month and I've lived back with my parents since I graduated college.

Why don't I take my lameness seriously?

- Being single works for me. I'd rather be single and hang out with cool people than be in a terrible or boring relationship simply to say to people that have a boyfriend.
- I love my cats and I find the notion that I'm a cat lady to be funny, not loserly. I have this idea about getting those family decals people put on the back windows of their cars (The dad, the mom, the teenager boy, the little girl, the baby and the dog, you know?) only doing just the girl and then doing a line of cats across the whole bottom of the window.
- Who cares how old I am?
- Living with my parents since graduating college has allowed me to pay off my student loans and begin saving a down payment to buy a house. I'm in a great financial situation because of my lame parental living situation and I'm thinking that come the new year if I haven't found a place I'd even consider buying I'll start looking for an apartment.

I occasionally get self conscious about what other people think of me or my situation, and then I remember, "Hey, fuck them. They don't know me, or my life, or my goals."

I occasionally do a self-examination to see if I'm satisfied with my life, and when I find that I'm not satisfied I figure out a way to change my life or my situation so that I am satisfied, or am more satisfied than I was before. For instance, I recently decided that I need to be more social, so I've joined some meet ups in my area to make some new friends and am making concerted efforts to plan more things to do with my existing friends.

From the outside looking in, I'm a total loser. From the inside looking out, I'm navigating my life in such a way that I can best achieve my goals and live a life I think is worth living.

[Doubting Thomas]

I think at one point my dad told my sister that he wondered if I were gay because I hadn't gotten married at age 26.

[thesummerqueen]

You want to talk lame, I'm a case study.

- I'm single.
- I have two cats (my family jokes that I'm a cat lady already and one of me dearest ambitions for my old age is to be The Cat Lady :p).
- I'm turning 29 in a month and I've lived back with my parents since I graduated college.

Why don't I take my lameness seriously?

- Being single works for me. I'd rather be single and hang out with cool people than be in a terrible or boring relationship simply to say to people that have a boyfriend.
- I love my cats and I find the notion that I'm a cat lady to be funny, not loserly. I have this idea about getting those family decals people put on the back windows of their cars (The dad, the mom, the teenager boy, the little girl, the baby and the dog, you know?) only doing just the girl and then doing a line of cats across the whole bottom of the window.
- Who cares how old I am?
- Living with my parents since graduating college has allowed me to pay off my student loans and begin saving a down payment to buy a house. I'm in a great financial situation because of my lame parental living situation and I'm thinking that come the new year if I haven't found a place I'd even consider buying I'll start looking for an apartment.

I occasionally get self conscious about what other people think of me or my situation, and then I remember, "Hey, fuck them. They don't know me, or my life, or my goals."

I occasionally do a self-examination to see if I'm satisfied with my life, and when I find that I'm not satisfied I figure out a way to change my life or my situation so that I am satisfied, or am more satisfied than I was before. For instance, I recently decided that I need to be more social, so I've joined some meet ups in my area to make some new friends and am making concerted efforts to plan more things to do with my existing friends.

From the outside looking in, I'm a total loser. From the inside looking out, I'm navigating my life in such a way that I can best achieve my goals and live a life I think is worth living.

Good for you! Social mores are changing - student debt is crippling, and we're all living a lot longer. I think what you're doing is making perfect sense.

[Zazzy]

From the outside looking in, I'm a total loser. From the inside looking out, I'm navigating my life in such a way that I can best achieve my goals and live a life I think is worth living.

I only think you're a loser because you're a cat lady instead of a dog lady (or a bird lady). I'm the crazy bird lady who sometimes goes out with bird shit on the back of my shirt, therefore I whip your cat-lady ass for loserdom.

That's awesome. I wish I'd known someone like you when I was young and single.

Picking up women for a man is a tremendous skill that I pride myself on. It takes experience and finesse to do it right, for instance, how to oh-so-casually let the woman we are picking up know that the guy is not mine, but is a terrific guy. How to know when the moment is right to leave, etc.

Too bad most of my male friends are in relationships now. I worry that my skills will get rusty.

[Jacob(smooth)]

From the outside looking in, I'm a total loser. From the inside looking out, I'm navigating my life in such a way that I can best achieve my goals and live a life I think is worth living.

I only think you're a loser because you're a cat lady instead of a dog lady (or a bird lady). I'm the crazy bird lady who sometimes goes out with bird shit on the back of my shirt, therefore I whip your cat-lady ass for loserdom.

That's awesome. I wish I'd known someone like you when I was young and single.

Picking up women for a man is a tremendous skill that I pride myself on. It takes experience and finesse to do it right, for instance, how to oh-so-casually let the woman we are picking up know that the guy is not mine, but is a terrific guy. How to know when the moment is right to leave, etc.

Too bad most of my male friends are in relationships now. I worry that my skills will get rusty.

You should advertise. You could d be the female hitch.

I must confess I've found it odd that being married appears to make one at least 6 times more attractive to the opposite sex. I guess it's that eau' De needy that we're no longer wearing.

[LastPoet]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyDUC1LUXSU

Yes, I am evil!

[Silver]

I have never heard the song itself, but I have heard of it. Is it true that it is in reference to date rape?

[Tonus]

do u think when people see me they think "god what a loser, he probably doesnt even have a girlfriend" thats what i feel like people think when they see me in public.

As I understand it, we perceive ourselves to be much more noticed than we really are. It's a natural thing and everyone does it, but I think it's helpful to recognize that. Most of the time, people around us aren't anywhere near as aware of us as we think they are, nor do they pay as much attention to us as we think they do. It's not that people around you are picking you out of the crowd and thinking "wow, that guy is a loser." It's that you are picking yourself out of the crowd and thinking "I bet this crowd knows that I am a loser!"

Being confident has less to do with how awesome you actually are, and much more to do with how awesome you pretend to be. People will subconsciously pick up on clues and cues that we provide via our behavior. The confident person will bullshit others to the extreme, but even when people know that he's not being honest, they are attracted to his high self-esteem and will agree with his self-assessment even though they may not think they do!

Keep reminding yourself that "failing" isn't the end of the world. Most people who are very self-confident fuck up every now and then, but they just shrug it off (and may even rationalize it to keep the self-image where they want it to be). The rest of us tend to make way too much of a situation, as if embarrassing yourself will haunt you for the rest of your life. But most people either forget those moments or recall them fondly later on, so long as you maintain your self-esteem. You are much more responsible for how people perceive you than you think you are. Figure out how to use that.

[Doubting Thomas]

I must confess I've found it odd that being married appears to make one at least 6 times more attractive to the opposite sex. I guess it's that eau' De needy that we're no longer wearing.

I think it's fairly understandable. Probably the fact that women believe that if another woman found a guy worth marrying then he's apparently got some value and not just some creepy stalker type, a player, jerk, needy mama's boy, or some other not-worth-marrying type.