Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 7, 2024, 11:12 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Wanted! Dead or Alive?
#1
Wanted! Dead or Alive?
WANTED!
[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQZgewt9-khuIkzPfIpkQi...b2jgzM-Nnu]
Have You Found This Man?

REWARD!



Aliases: Jesus, Son of God, Yahweh, "J" the Carpenter

Last Known Addresses: Bethlehem, Nazareth, Jerusalem, The Right Hand of God, The hearts of men

Known Accomplices: Simon Peter, Andrew his brother, James son of Zebedee, John his brother, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, Thaddeus, James son of Alphaeus, Simon the Cananean, Judas Iscariot, Paul (formerly Saul of Tarsus)

Wanted For: Crimes against Humanity, including, but not limited to: Malevolent Dictatorship, Jealousy, Envy, Strife, Discord, Dissensions, Murder, and a general hatred for all that is truly good.

Reward For Exposing This Liar!

The guarantee of release from religious bondage and oppression

is yours to be had today!



to expose him for the stinker he is!
Reply
#2
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
Is he a cowboy? Does he ride a steel horse?


Reply
#3
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
I found him hiding in my bread! Then someone slathered jelly on it and ate it. I can't wait until he gets pooped out in three days.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

Reply
#4
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
He's supposed to rise again, does that mean he'll be a floater?
Reply
#5
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
(December 4, 2013 at 5:08 am)Optimistic Mysanthrope Wrote: He's supposed to rise again, does that mean he'll be a floater?
Few will appreciate your contribution. I am one of the few Clap
Reply
#6
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
So you're looking for a green eyed white guy with beautiful tousled hair, neat goatee and a perfect complexion?

Sorry - doesn't ring any bells with me.
Kuusi palaa, ja on viimeinen kerta kun annan vaimoni laittaa jouluvalot!
Reply
#7
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
Jesus is busy ATM
...caring for the sad, depressed, downtrodden, lepers, the poor in spirit, the weak, the oppressed..
He doesn't have time to stop and answer your lame, mundane, inane demands for Him to stop what He is doing.
Feel free to keep demanding that He stop what He is doing and give you a "sign" you that won't believe anyway.
Reply
#8
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
(December 4, 2013 at 7:20 am)Lion IRC Wrote: Jesus is busy ATM
IGNORING the sad, depressed, downtrodden, lepers, the poor in spirit, the weak, the oppressed..
He doesn't have time to stop and answer your lame, mundane, inane demands for Him to stop what He is doing.
Feel free to keep demanding that He stop what He is doing and give you a "sign" you that won't believe anyway.

There, fixed it for you buddy.

Badger
[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
Reply
#9
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
Busy he is, doing all that nailed to a cross Big Grin

That guy seems to appear in Ryantology's signature, hmmm.... Dodgy
Reply
#10
RE: Wanted! Dead or Alive?
(December 3, 2013 at 7:33 pm)Chad32 Wrote: I found him hiding in my bread! Then someone slathered jelly on it and ate it. I can't wait until he gets pooped out in three days.

(December 4, 2013 at 5:08 am)Optimistic Mysanthrope Wrote: He's supposed to rise again, does that mean he'll be a floater?

You guys are just oppressing the poor, helpless Christians with your disrespect.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  My Royal Court (minions wanted). The Valkyrie 51 5462 August 14, 2021 at 11:39 pm
Last Post: Fireball
  Couldn't escape if you wanted to. WATERLOO Brian37 0 216 November 4, 2018 at 7:37 am
Last Post: Brian37
  Stuff I've always wanted to do to Christians BrokenQuill92 0 660 January 17, 2014 at 10:29 am
Last Post: BrokenQuill92



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)