Funniest Christian Websites

[SteelCurtain]

Just so you know, christwire.org is a satire site.

I got Poe'd? Dammit!!!

EDIT: Nope, I went back. It's fucking obvious.

[Wyrd of Gawd]

I must admit that I had no idea such sites existed. They certainly seem to be whacked out.

[Wyrd of Gawd]

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http://www.vatican.va/phome_en.htm

These guys crack me the fuck up...

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http://www.raptureready.com/

"Once more, here is where the age of accountability comes into play. Since I believe the requirements for getting saved (and then being resurrected, if you die) and the requirements for getting Raptured are one and the same, and since I believe that children who die before the age of accountability go to Heaven and will be resurrected when the time comes (even if their parents are lost), then I also believe that all living children below that age will be Raptured when the trumpet blows, whether their parents are saved or not. To say otherwise is to say that a child can ride to Heaven on his parents' coattails, and as I said above, that, the Bible says, simply cannot be done. Either he accepts Jesus and goes to Heaven, or he's too young to accept Jesus and therefore is counted innocent in God's eyes (and thus gets Raptured if alive, or resurrected if dead). Remember, the moment when the trumpet blows is a package deal, the end of a dispensation. It is the moment when all who died in Christ and all who lived in Christ, from Pentecost on, will be given new resurrection bodies."

hock:

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There's more...

"This sort of thing is something you have to trust the Lord's wisdom that he knows what he is doing, and whatever he does is for the best.

Because if they all go to heaven, then mothers will think abortion is better than allowing them to be born and die in hell.

But if all babies go to hell, then most mothers who lost their babies would not want to have anything to do with God.

God could be silent on this because of those reasons." .

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Sounds legit.

[FreeTony]

From jesus-is-saviour:

"Oprah Winfrey is of the Devil."
"Pastor Fred Phelps comes a whole lot closer to being right than MOST pastors in America today"
"God Hasn't Lifted His Ban Against Walt Disney"
"Adding fuel to the fire are racy TV shows like Dawson's Creek and Popular, which depict teen sex as exciting and normal"

This is not a parody site. The author of the site is crippled, yet interestingly praying hasn't worked and he is reliant on the same doctors he denounces for pain relief.

[xpastor]

This is amazing: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/

The content is so crazy too, e.g. "If you are using the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible, and continue to do so after reading this article, then you are truly blinded by Satan, or just don't care." then "If I had a billion dollars, I'd make an offer to churches all across America. I'd exchange brand new King James Bibles for their perverted NIVs."

Sheesh! Does anyone know what their gripe is with the NIV? It's the most fundy-friendly modern translation available. It often fudges the translations to avoid letting the contradictions show through. In fact, they show through much better in the King James Version.

Checking through a few of their links, I couldn't find anything about the NIV bible. I did find one sermon slagging all modern translations because they use the Westcott-Hort Greek text, in other words a text based on a careful comparison of the oldest manuscripts. The author thinks they should have stuck to the old Textus Receptus, the best that was available in the day of King James, based on a few not-very-good manuscripts copied over and over again in the medieval period. Among other things, the modern translations (including NIV) suggest that the snake-handling passage at the end of Mark does not belong in the bible.

[Fromper]

Here's a funny one. I went looking for an old joke article that I always liked:

http://elephanticity.250x.com/xianches.html

But in searching for it, I ran across this similar article, which seems to be serious, not a satire (though I didn't spend much time looking at the site to be sure):

http://www.e-hope4all.info/should-christ...lay-chess/

[Rev. Rye]

This may not necessarily be funny, but it is quite strange:

Warrior Bride International

In case you're not sure whether you want to click the link I've provided, the site mainly consists of several photos of women dressed in bridal gowns, often brandishing swords, accompanied by incredibly cryptic ramblings.

If you're curious as to what they're trying to preach, the closest thing the site gets to giving any meaning is in the Devotional section, where the author gives the following reasons she knows this project of hers is from God:
* The site exists. [No, seriously. She gives the fact that the site is up and running as proof that this mission of hers is indeed from God.]
* God gave her Psalm 149:6 as a foundational scripture
* Satan has physically tried to kill her three times.

Honestly, considering the insanity of this site, and its use of the word WARRIOR, I wouldn't be surprised if the Ultimate Warrior himself had a hand in this site's existence.
Any thoughts?

[Wyrd of Gawd]

This may not necessarily be funny, but it is quite strange:

Warrior Bride International

In case you're not sure whether you want to click the link I've provided, the site mainly consists of several photos of women dressed in bridal gowns, often brandishing swords, accompanied by incredibly cryptic ramblings.

If you're curious as to what they're trying to preach, the closest thing the site gets to giving any meaning is in the Devotional section, where the author gives the following reasons she knows this project of hers is from God:
* The site exists. [No, seriously. She gives the fact that the site is up and running as proof that this mission of hers is indeed from God.]
* God gave her Psalm 149:6 as a foundational scripture
* Satan has physically tried to kill her three times.

Honestly, considering the insanity of this site, and its use of the word WARRIOR, I wouldn't be surprised if the Ultimate Warrior himself had a hand in this site's existence.
Any thoughts?

I think they've already made a couple of movies using that theme: Kill Bill.

[Marsellus Wallace]

And if you want over the top go to: http://evangelcathedral.net/

Metal music intro..............a little speech............a pop song .

[NoraBrimstone]

I thought of a few, then realised they're all more scary than funny. Especially the Rapture Ready Forums. There was a woman there (might still be) who buried her dead child in her back yard so when the Rapture happens and he rises from his grave he'll know where he is. So many things wrong with that. Poor woman.

And then there was another guy who hangs out at the cemetery every day because he thinks it will be cool to see all the dead rising when it happens.