What really happens in churches

[xpastor]

This is for the benefit of atheists who never went through a religious phase and have no idea of what goes on in a church.

The post is from The Clergy Project, a group to which I belong, made up of clergy, both former and active, who have abandoned all supernatural belief. I have edited the post very slightly to make sure that the author and his denomination cannot be identified.

I just got home from a church council meeting. We spent two hours discussing dysfunctional programs that attract no people and fixing up the building in which those programs don't happen for when those people who don't come show up. We budgeted money for such essentials as paint, rust removal, cleaning, postage (for invitations to those people who don't come to the programs that won't happen) and rodent removal (getting rid of the only lifeforms who seem to actually enjoy the church). We discussed outreach with a youth group that doesn't exist to a youth community that sees nothing relevant in the building that is so well maintained for people who don't show up for the programs that don't work. All of this for a non-existing god who is half-heartedly worshipped (but ardently prayed to when bills come due) with bad music from the turn of the century (the turn before this last one) and with empty platitudes and a lot of complaint and griping (which I am continuing here).

The whole thing seems like a giant Rube Goldberg machine. Rube Goldberg was a cartoonist who came up with designs for impossibly complex machines that did nothing constructive.

I commented:

I almost split my sides laughing. But if I weren't 30+ years away from my little Lutheran congregation (average attendance 35) I would have been crying.

[Jacob(smooth)]

This is SO true.

[Minimalist]

Funny. I live near 3 large retirement communities; Sun City, Sun City West, and Sun City Grand. The oldest, Sun City opened in 1960 and it was dotted with large churches. You almost can't spit without hitting a church. I, of course, would never be caught dead in one of those dens of iniquity but I have had occasion to drive by them on Sundays and noted the handful of cars or golf carts in the very large parking lots. At least everyone gets a good parking spot. Every so often there is a newspaper story in one of the local rag sheets about some preacher bemoaning the lack of attendance.


BTW, Sun City Grand...which was built in the 90's... is not so big on churches. It does have its own golf course, though and I see plenty of people out there on Sundays!

[truthBtold]

Why I get wood while sitting on those hard benches. .. I dont know... and my legs fall asleep ..

[Whateverist]

Shall we use this thread to launch a yearly State of the Faith Report? Sounds like would be participants need something more subtle than the standard programs. But then if anyone develops a more subtle understanding of religion are going to be so different than those who love the tradition. My money is on tradition holding out in the old buildings until the rodents are the last left standing.

[Jacob(smooth)]

Best experience of "church" I every had? Someone's house. Communion was dinner. Wafers were generally pizza. Wine was generally beer. We has discussions on matters theological and supported one another.

Worst was a parochial parish council on which I served a 2 year stint. Did more harm to my faith than anything else, ever. X pastors description is freakishly accurate.

[ShaMan]

What really happens in churches?

[Jacob(smooth)]

Only if you're in the back pew and really, really quiet.

[Faith No More]

This is what happened when I was in church...

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With my parents constantly smacking me to wake me up.

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[ShaMan]

Only if you're in the back pew and really, really quiet.

If you look directly at the clergy, and you listen very closely, you'll see them doing it for pay every day of the week