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Christians IN Hell
#11
RE: Christians IN Hell
I would think that baptizing in the Father, son, and the Holy Ghost would cover Jesus too.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#12
RE: Christians IN Hell
(March 6, 2014 at 11:30 am)Tonus Wrote: I think that lots of the smaller Christian cults believe that they are the only path to salvation. JWs do not believe in eternal torment, but they believe that only JWs will be saved when god decides to wipe out "the wicked."

When 2 of them turned up at my door they said there were only 144,000 places in heaven. Everyone else gets a thousand years of rapture but they weren't clear what happened after that.

I asked if the heaven limit was a parking problem and they left. I thought it was a reasonable question.
Kuusi palaa, ja on viimeinen kerta kun annan vaimoni laittaa jouluvalot!
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#13
RE: Christians IN Hell
Jesus said himself that not everyone who said "Lord, Lord..." will have a place in the Kingdom. Its less of an orthodoxy question and more of an orthopraxy one, I.e actions speak louder than words.
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#14
RE: Christians IN Hell
(March 6, 2014 at 11:52 am)max-greece Wrote: When 2 of them turned up at my door they said there were only 144,000 places in heaven. Everyone else gets a thousand years of rapture but they weren't clear what happened after that.
Unless they have changed (certainly a possibility with them) the beliefs are that at some point, Satan will turn the nations of the world against all of the false religions (ie, all except JWs) and will 'destroy Babylon the Great' (ie, every religion except JWs). Then they will turn their attention on the JWs and Jehovah will be all like "NUH UH, GIRLFRIEND" and lay a holy smackdown on everyone who isn't a JW.

144,000 JWs go to heaven, a process that began with the apostles and continues to this day. The rest will stay on Earth. After a 1,000 year period during which they are "perfected" (because it only took a bite from an apple to make us all sinners, but it requires hundreds of years of scrubbing to get rid of it), god will release Satan from whatever prison he has him in. Satan will be allowed to run around and tempt the remaining people, and any who are dumb enough to fall for his shit will die with him when god finally decides that enough is enough.

The ones who are left are given the Earth, now a paradise, to live in forever and ever. The 144,000 get to sit around in heaven forever, doing whatever it is you do in heaven. Probably jerking each other off. Roll credits.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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#15
RE: Christians IN Hell
(March 6, 2014 at 12:40 pm)ChadWooters Wrote: Jesus said himself that not everyone who said "Lord, Lord..." will have a place in the Kingdom. Its less of an orthodoxy question and more of an orthopraxy one, I.e actions speak louder than words.


Even if you believe that to be true, there are other Christians who differ greatly - especially where Hell is concerned, more so than Heaven.
Regardless of the reason, you all differ so often, and sometimes so greatly, that its impossible to take it seriously. It seems clear to me that the narrator in the second video is primarily interested in simply denigrating any denomination that doesn't practice christianity the same way he and his fellow idiots have chosen to.
Meanwhile, your kind is still prattling on about your god and his "flawless" book that NONE OF YOU can agree on. It's gotten so utterly ridiculous that now you're actually condemning each other to hell.

It's almost as if you've all counterfeited your own True Christian™ badges. ...hmmmmm?
[Image: Evolution.png]

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#16
RE: Christians IN Hell
(March 6, 2014 at 12:50 pm)Tonus Wrote:
(March 6, 2014 at 11:52 am)max-greece Wrote: When 2 of them turned up at my door they said there were only 144,000 places in heaven. Everyone else gets a thousand years of rapture but they weren't clear what happened after that.
Unless they have changed (certainly a possibility with them) the beliefs are that at some point, Satan will turn the nations of the world against all of the false religions (ie, all except JWs) and will 'destroy Babylon the Great' (ie, every religion except JWs). Then they will turn their attention on the JWs and Jehovah will be all like "NUH UH, GIRLFRIEND" and lay a holy smackdown on everyone who isn't a JW.

144,000 JWs go to heaven, a process that began with the apostles and continues to this day. The rest will stay on Earth. After a 1,000 year period during which they are "perfected" (because it only took a bite from an apple to make us all sinners, but it requires hundreds of years of scrubbing to get rid of it), god will release Satan from whatever prison he has him in. Satan will be allowed to run around and tempt the remaining people, and any who are dumb enough to fall for his shit will die with him when god finally decides that enough is enough.

The ones who are left are given the Earth, now a paradise, to live in forever and ever. The 144,000 get to sit around in heaven forever, doing whatever it is you do in heaven. Probably jerking each other off. Roll credits.

According to the fairy tale the 144,000 are supposed to be special Jews. So how did JWs get to be special Jews?

(March 6, 2014 at 12:40 pm)ChadWooters Wrote: Jesus said himself that not everyone who said "Lord, Lord..." will have a place in the Kingdom. Its less of an orthodoxy question and more of an orthopraxy one, I.e actions speak louder than words.

Jesus was always telling lies. He'll say one thing one day and the exact opposite the next day. And then he'll make up a new version.
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#17
RE: Christians IN Hell
Quote:According to the fairy tale the 144,000 are supposed to be special Jews. So how did JWs get to be special Jews?

Good question - you'd have to ask them - I never got that far.
Kuusi palaa, ja on viimeinen kerta kun annan vaimoni laittaa jouluvalot!
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#18
RE: Christians IN Hell
(March 7, 2014 at 1:31 am)max-greece Wrote:
Quote:According to the fairy tale the 144,000 are supposed to be special Jews. So how did JWs get to be special Jews?

Good question - you'd have to ask them - I never got that far.

Well it's been 2,000 years and counting so 144,000 out of all of the billions of believers during that time is some mighty damn slim odds of getting in. I wonder if any Popes will make it? Imagine all of the ticked off Orthodox Jews who won't get in.
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#19
RE: Christians IN Hell
whoever made these videos should see a psychiatrist, cuz he has got some issues.

what kind of a sick fuck mind would want others to burn and FOREVER !
[Image: eUdzMRc.gif]
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#20
RE: Christians IN Hell
(March 6, 2014 at 10:16 pm)Wyrd of Gawd Wrote: According to the fairy tale the 144,000 are supposed to be special Jews. So how did JWs get to be special Jews?
The JWs claim that the modern-day True Christian™ congregation is a "spiritual Israel." So in that sense, they're as special as special gets. I figure they probably just handwave the "Jews" part of that.

They claim that they're part of an unbroken line of such true Christians dating back to Jesus' time, but I don't ever recall hearing an explanation for how that managed to happen without running out of slots for the 144,000 positions in heaven. According to the JWs, the heavenly calling was completed in 1935 and only then did the earthly calling begin. As far as I know, there are still around 9,000 of the heaven-bound on Earth, so over the past 2,000-ish years, there were only 135,000 people who managed to stay on god's good side.

I understand that a few years ago they became less circumspect with regard to who partakes of the wine and crackers at the memorial (their version of mass, performed only once a year-- the only religious day they observe). After that, the number of those claiming to hear a heavenly calling has increased steadily. I suspect it's a bit of a sore point for the organization that the number of people who are still being called to heaven continues to grow almost 80 years after god stopped accepting applications.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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