Athiests and Christians dating

[TruthWorthy]

TruthWorthy Wrote:
Didn't any of these issues cross your mind before you two became serious? I've thought about visiting church just to find a nice girl to be with. The reason I didn't bother was because I knew I'd need to continue visiting despite having achieved all I could from there. You two probably aren't compatible enough to stay together in the long term. Your girl is 'upset' you wont be together in the afterlife probably reflects her own understanding of this fact and she would most likely have her social network 'pissing' in her ear about the relationships failure, "because lets face it, you're not going to leave *your* faith, are you!?". I know it's a kick in the teeth losing out to a false belief but got to be practical. How would you raise (or want to raise) you kids?
A897 Wrote:
nobody needs to change their faith if they don't want to! Let the girl raise your kids the way she wants but after they get a little older they can choose for themselves who they want to follow. All of us are raised in same way according to our parents' religious traditions but now we know what is right in reality.

You wouldn't be able to change her which Is my point. How much do you think the relationship would handle considering prolonged antagonism of the going to hell sort? Especially when you know it's full of shit?
The way I see it lasting is if you take up the faith bro. Just throw away common sense and say I'm not good enough for her how I am, so I need to change.

[A897]

no just quit having discussions with her about religions! It seems so bad to end a relationship due to an imaginary thing!

[fr0d0]

Anyone can change. You make the mistake of equating God with scientifically proven fact.

Your girlfriend will have the nagging doubt: "never be yolked to unbelievers". Whilst I think this is a good rule of thumb - it doesn't help a relationship for the partners to be polar opposites on any opinion. This would have been critical in biblical times when religion featured far higher on anyone's agenda. But today people aren't so religious. People rarely share every interest. That you're together and presumably love each other demonstrates that you share interests enough to sustain the relationship.

You know her and what lengths her faith activities are likely to reach. If it was a cause of major upset between you then I'd think it would be right to reconsider your relationship. Otherwise I'd say it's an issue blown out of proportion.

[Rhage]

Now I know interfaith relationships can be hard, but have any of you had experience in a relationship where only one of you have faith? I'm an atheist and my girlfriend is an evangelical christian. Now we are compatible in most ways but religion has always been a bit sticky. Its not for me, she's simply doing her own thing and thats fine with me but she literally believes I am going to hell when I die. A while back she even came to me crying because she thinks we won't be together in the afterlife.

I've gone to church with her, read books she's suggested, spoke to her pastor numerous times and of course my beliefs weren't changed. She thinks I'm not giving Christianity a chance and I keep telling her that I can't just choose to believe in her god. Now this is only one aspect of our relationship and I haven't spoken about all the good we have but this seems like a problem that will always be there. Any Advice?

I agree with a lot of what has already been said. Asking her to read a few books from your point of view isn't all the much to ask. After going to church, reading books and speaking with her pastor, for her to say you're not giving it a chance is ridiculous. But really, why should you HAVE to give it a chance? How would she feel if you ran to her crying because you thought she was a delusional nutbag who needed psych help? I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate it at all. It's not fair for her to put her belief on you.

I was married to a muslim for 5 years. Although I wasn't as strong in my non-belief as I am now, I never read the Koran or considered Islam to be a valid option for me. I can't tell you how many times he asked me to read the Koran or convert to his view. He would tell me that his family would like me 30% more if I converted. Still, not an option for me.

Sorry to say that, unless something changes for one of you, I don't know that your relationship is going to survive the long haul. Good for you if it does, really, but don't bet the house on it.

[dt83]

Thanks for the input everyone, you've given me more than a few things to consider. O and some of you should find this interesting, I actually posted the same question at an interfaith forum and a evangelical forum. Can anyone guess which forum was useless and bigoted lol?

[leo-rcc]

Thanks for the input everyone, you've given me more than a few things to consider. O and some of you should find this interesting, I actually posted the same question at an interfaith forum and a evangelical forum. Can anyone guess which forum was useless and bigoted lol?

Well we tried.

Ow you didn't mean us.

[Meatball]

I'm in a similar position but it's not something we discuss very openly. I've gone to her church, mostly because she sings in the choir. I've hung out with her bible study group a few times, not for the actual study (even though another woman's openly atheist husband attends and causes a stir every now and then).

Religion is a minor point of contention for us and at an intellectual level makes the relationship hard. My advice for anything considering such a relationship is to really put some thought into how strongly you feel about your philosophical positions.