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Dating as an atheist.
#1
Dating as an atheist.
Does anyone find it difficult because of being an atheist? Honestly, I think I could deal with someone believing in a vague higher power that they don't try to define in anyway and that they didn't pray to or worship or anything. If someone was religious enough to claim it by denomination though, I can't do it. Mutual beliefs and interests are very important to me. Would definitely prefer an atheist.

On top of that, I'm very introverted and I don't ever want kids. And I sort of tend to fall quick and hard on the rare occasion that it happens. Just sort of want to find someone where it's just me and her the majority of the time. Someone with no real social obligations, that keeps to themselves minus whoever they are dating. Just the two of us together, being nerdy. I sort of don't ever expect to find anyone. Thought I did, but it didn't work out for other reasons. I got a best friend out of it though.

Anyone else have dating issues because of being an atheist?
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#2
RE: Dating as an atheist.
Yep, being an atheist has completely derailed my dating life, I have no problem dating a person faith, it seems to be the people of faith who have the problem. I would like to find a nice atheist girl but they are just hard to find.
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#3
RE: Dating as an atheist.
Don't know exactly what you are asking. Atheism simply means not believing in god. That says nothing else about the person.

Still, a Christian might date you in the hopes of proselytizing you. that's a set up for mutual disappointment.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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#4
RE: Dating as an atheist.
(May 22, 2016 at 6:49 pm)Organic Machine Wrote: Does anyone find it difficult because of being an atheist? Honestly, I think I could deal with someone believing in a vague higher power that they don't try to define in anyway and that they didn't pray to or worship or anything. If someone was religious enough to claim it by denomination though, I can't do it. Mutual beliefs and interests are very important to me.

On top of that, I'm very introverted and I don't ever want kids. I sort of don't ever expect to find anyone. Thought I did, but it didn't work out for other reasons. I got a best friend out of it though.

Anyone else have dating issues because of being an atheist?

Yes, atheism is one of my dating issues. I live in "stupid state" Oklahoma where you can't swing a rosary for hitting a stinking church and the single atheists males are few and far between, let alone ones my age (mature). I have no interest in a partner who might be in control of my life should I not be able to care for myself and who thinks their god's plan supersedes their partner's desires. No, fuck, no!

Intelligence and respect is the first criteria, I have none for religious delusions. I'm so screwed, and not in a good way. Sad
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#5
RE: Dating as an atheist.
Not really, myself, unless she's overly religious, in which case I wouldn't ask her out anyway. I wouldn't discuss religion, or my lack of faith, on the first two or three dates myself ... I would focus on common interests and simply having a good time.

Your first several dates, at the very least, will almost never be stay-at-home anyway, and angling for that is a good way to give a woman pause. Shoot for social or outdoor dates where you're with others (not as a group, just around others) until your relationship starts growing legs. Take your time, and don't get spun out on one gal -- crushes are natural when you're younger but they sure can tie your emotions into knots.

Go slow and take it easy. Confidence is the big attractor, so I'm told.

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#6
RE: Dating as an atheist.
(May 22, 2016 at 7:03 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: Don't know exactly what you are asking. Atheism simply means not believing in god. That says nothing else about the person.

Still, a Christian might date you in the hopes of proselytizing you. that's a set up for mutual disappointment.

It's not because I don't think they can't be a good person or anything like that. It's just that we would hold incredibly different worldviews. Like I said, mutual beliefs and interests are important to me. I don't relate to most people so I'd like to relate to a partner as much as possible.

(May 22, 2016 at 7:06 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: Not really, myself, unless she's overly religious, in which case I wouldn't ask her out anyway. I wouldn't discuss religion, or my lack of faith, on the first two or three dates myself ... I would focus on common interests and simply having a good time.

Your first several dates, at the very least, will almost never be stay-at-home anyway, and angling for that is a good way to give a woman pause. Shoot for social or outdoor dates where you're with others (not as a group, just around others) until your relationship starts growing legs. Take your time, and don't get spun out on one gal -- crushes are natural when you're younger but they sure can tie your emotions into knots.

Go slow and take it easy. Confidence is the big attractor, so I'm told.

I wish I was that kind of person. I'm very introverted and don't do things where the main intention is to be social. It can be draining. I'm also not that young. I'm 34. I just don't have much experience with actual dating. I'm pretty bad at this sort of thing because my only two relationships have not been traditional. One was long distance with a year before we first met, the other happened out of nowhere and moved incredibly fast.

Right now, I have an attractive neighbor that I'm pretty sure is showing interest in me. One of the things she said in passing was that she noticed my bumper stickers, which I guess you could say are pretty indicative of my lack of belief, she said she thought I'd be a cool person. I know she's single too. We hung out last night but with someone else that she knew there. Time will tell I guess. I just don't know if I'm feeling it. I worry that she's almost too.... normal. As ridiculous as that sounds.
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#7
RE: Dating as an atheist.
(May 22, 2016 at 7:09 pm)Organic Machine Wrote:
(May 22, 2016 at 7:03 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: Don't know exactly what you are asking. Atheism simply means not believing in god. That says nothing else about the person.

Still, a Christian might date you in the hopes of proselytizing you. that's a set up for mutual disappointment.

It's not because I don't think they can't be a good person or anything like that. It's just that we would hold incredibly different worldviews. Like I said, mutual beliefs and interests are important to me. I don't relate to most people so I'd like to relate to a partner as much as possible.

(May 22, 2016 at 7:06 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: Not really, myself, unless she's overly religious, in which case I wouldn't ask her out anyway. I wouldn't discuss religion, or my lack of faith, on the first two or three dates myself ... I would focus on common interests and simply having a good time.

Your first several dates, at the very least, will almost never be stay-at-home anyway, and angling for that is a good way to give a woman pause. Shoot for social or outdoor dates where you're with others (not as a group, just around others) until your relationship starts growing legs. Take your time, and don't get spun out on one gal -- crushes are natural when you're younger but they sure can tie your emotions into knots.

Go slow and take it easy. Confidence is the big attractor, so I'm told.

I wish I was that kind of person. I'm very introverted and don't do things where the main intention is to be social. It can be draining. I'm also not that young. I'm 34. I just don't have much experience with actual dating. I'm pretty bad at this sort of thing because my only two relationships have not been traditional. One was long distance with a year before we first met, the other happened out of nowhere and moved incredibly fast.

Right now, I have an attractive neighbor that I'm pretty sure is showing interest in me. One of the things she said in passing was that she noticed my bumper stickers, which I guess you could say are pretty indicative of my lack of belief, she said she thought I'd be a cool person. I know she's single too. We hung out last night but with someone else that she knew there. Time will tell I guess. I just don't know if I'm feeling it. I worry that she's almost too.... normal. As ridiculous as that sounds.

So ask her out for coffee or dinner. This allows y'all to chat without being involved with the other patrons.

I was shy with the gals younger myself, and I do still get butterflies asking one out, but at some point you gotta make the jump. "No" comes with the territory. If it happens, move on down the road, y'know?

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#8
RE: Dating as an atheist.
OP, Nope. Wife is catholic. We found a middle ground on the belief/non belief issue. If you're going to make non belief the core of you being you might have a tough time.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#9
RE: Dating as an atheist.
I know rejection. I like to go for what I want and I don't like to wait around to see if the gal or guy I like approaches me first. So I know rejection. Like thump says, it comes with the territory.

Being an atheist has affected my dating life because most people here are hard core religious. I'm not the person they would maybe like to show off. With that mentality, I don't like them either anyway. That's why I wouldn't mind driving far to see someone I actually like. I will NOT date a religious person again. Ever.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#10
RE: Dating as an atheist.
(May 22, 2016 at 6:49 pm)Organic Machine Wrote: Does anyone find it difficult because of being an atheist? Honestly, I think I could deal with someone believing in a vague higher power that they don't try to define in anyway and that they didn't pray to or worship or anything. If someone was religious enough to claim it by denomination though, I can't do it. Mutual beliefs and interests are very important to me. Would definitely prefer an atheist.

On top of that, I'm very introverted and I don't ever want kids. And I sort of tend to fall quick and hard on the rare occasion that it happens. Just sort of want to find someone where it's just me and her the majority of the time. Someone with no real social obligations, that keeps to themselves minus whoever they are dating. Just the two of us together, being nerdy. I sort of don't ever expect to find anyone. Thought I did, but it didn't work out for other reasons. I got a best friend out of it though.

Anyone else have dating issues because of being an atheist?

No, i don't think that would be my issue. I have an indifferent attitude about dating hence i don't go out of my way to find dates. I'm also very quite and reserved. Even if a women displays interest in me they often won't get more then just a smile and a thank you. I don't really consider this an issue as i very much enjoy my aloneness but also remain open to the possibility of dating. I just often question whether now would be a good time as i'm more focused on my own personal dreams and desires at the moment.
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