Religion and children

[CindysRain]

I think that something that grown-ups may not realize is that children can vividly imagine such things and aren't always good at compartmentalizing or finding ways of reaching an accommodation with them. With such a short life and few experiences, anything can make a deep and troubling (and lasting) impression.

Yes, my point exactly!!

I kept an easy, open line of communication for my kids, all their lives - yet they never felt comfortable talking about religious fears.

Religious parents should never assume that if their kids are raised from infancy in church, that they are well-adjusted. The burden they carry from sin and hell - regarding themselves, and everyone they love, is over-the-top and abusive, in my opinion.

[Willow Blackbird]

Wow. Teenagers. I've got two of those. Can't live with 'em, law won't let you shoot 'em.

Seriously though, it's a rough time for any parent so don't beat yourself up. I would continue to urge them to think critically about everything, not just religious beliefs. Let them go to church if that's really what they want to do. Forcing your decision on them will be met with resistance and anger. But, don't let the indoctrination go unchallenged. If either of my kids showed a real desire to go to church, I'd take them, talk to them about the sermon, show them where the minister/priest/pastor/shaman/medicine man got the day's message and show the biblical contradictions to it. If they think your guiding and helping instead of ordering they'll be more receptive.

Leaving your faith is hard. Raising kids is hard. Doing both at the same time must be hell.

Just my tuppence.

Thank you. I appreciate this. I think it's been very helpful to get all these responses.

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Remember this, even if your kids don't want options right now, they still have them, and as they go through their own process, I think they will eventually appreciate that.

When the guilt sneaks in Willow (it will come and go), never forget that we did the best we could, with what we knew, at the time.

YES! Thank you! I think part of my angst is residual from Christianity. There is that urgent fear of your child *NOT* believing the way you have brought them up to believe. I think this has really opened my eyes to the fact that my children are their own entities, like me, and deserve to search and disagree with me.

[Dystopia]

It is wrong and evil and we should treat this type of abuse as crime, for that is exactly what it is. Psychological Rape! Simple as that.

Lol that was funny, I get your point but psychological rape is just a wrong term in so man ways. I wouldn't call it psychological rape, more likely child abuse. It's not like I don't think parents can't teach, but certain limits should be met

[vorlon13]

I recall an (unusual) sermon about Sodom and Gomorrha and their actual failing was noted as inhospitality, not homosexuality. This was 1973 and I was a sophomore in High School. No idea what sparked the rev to go there, but over a long term basis, it was a very helpful thing for me to hear at the time, as a gay teen.

So my point, even teenagers have the ability of selective hearing/memory, so common among the cafeteria Christians I find everywhere these days, that even a fairly strict religious experience throughout childhood would still have those important moments that plant the seeds for a better adulthood than what might be expected.

[Jenny A]

I recall an (unusual) sermon about Sodom and Gomorrha and their actual failing was noted as inhospitality, not homosexuality. This was 1973 and I was a sophomore in High School. No idea what sparked the rev to go there, but over a long term basis, it was a very helpful thing for me to hear at the time, as a gay teen.

So my point, even teenagers have the ability of selective hearing/memory, so common among the cafeteria Christians I find everywhere these days, that even a fairly strict religious experience throughout childhood would still have those important moments that plant the seeds for a better adulthood than what might be expected.

Actually, the part of the story cited for the wrongness of homosexuality is really ugly. . . But yes, the problem was raping strangers (really angels come to warn Lot) not homosexuality per se. Lot, the good host, responded don't rape them because they they are guests and must be treated well; here, rape my daughters instead. Yes you read that right. See Genesis 19:1-6

[Chad32]

Not only that he offered his daughters, but he pulled them inside beforehand, thus willingly involving himself in this. It's not like they rushed into the first house with an unlocked front door, and begged Lot for help.

It's odd, because the angels in the old testament weren't really described as Humans with wings and halos. They were eldritch abominations that had good reason to preface anything they said to Humans with "don't be afraid of me". The idea that angels from Yahweh would be in genuine danger just adds to the wrongness of one of the most good individuals in the town offering his daughters to be raped instead of strangers.

Old testament stories are strange.

[vorlon13]

IIRC, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is recounted twice in the Bible, but I don't recall where the second version is.

[Wyrd of Gawd]

According to the Bible Sodom will be rebuilt to all of its former glory so it couldn't have been too bad.

Lot was a despicable person with no redeeming qualities. He felt that he owned his daughters, who may or may not have been married since the story can't get that detail straight, and could pimp them out to protect a couple of strangers he didn't know from squat. The basic story is repeated with a different cast of characters in Judges chapter 19, which is the most disgusting chapter in the whole Bible.

As someone said: "It is the righteous who saves the ass of a stranger with the asses of his loved ones."
http://www.cracked.com/article_19597_8-g...bible.html