Discussion w/ a Theist RE: Premarital Sex

[Chad32]

I would kind of expect to live with my significant other for a while before marriage too. I've heard that it makes breakups more likely, but then that should tell you that couple probably shouldn't have gotten married. I doubt their marriage would have been great, had they found out afterwards that they don't much like living together or having sex with each other.

I think part of it is the belief that if they're living together, they'll have premarital sex. Which they shouldn't have because...reasons.

[StealthySkeptic]

I would kind of expect to live with my significant other for a while before marriage too. I've heard that it makes breakups more likely, but then that should tell you that couple probably shouldn't have gotten married. I doubt their marriage would have been great, had they found out afterwards that they don't much like living together or having sex with each other.

I think part of it is the belief that if they're living together, they'll have premarital sex. Which they shouldn't have because...reasons.

My thoughts exactly. My girlfriend says that she is not allowed by the edicts of her (non-Christian, non-Muslim) religion to live with me. She's stayed over on the couch a couple of times when she's visited me which has given me a bit of an insight into how she is as a roommate, but I'm still pondering what this means for us.

[Dystopia]

That's against the whole sanctity of marriage thing according to religious people, sex is procreation bla bla bla - If it's just for procreation why does it feel good? Yeah right god works in mysterious ways...

If someone wants to wait until marriage because they prefer doing so, my take is to let them do it, and if pre marital sex is indeed a sin (what's the passage?) I'm already doomed to hell for it, and masturbation, I'll probably be locked down in the deepest most painful place of hell and get a fucking medal from satan

If you're down that way, say Hi to all the bishops, cardinals, ministers and Jimmy for me....

Are you comparing me with clergymen and corrupt politicians?

---

I would kind of expect to live with my significant other for a while before marriage too. I've heard that it makes breakups more likely, but then that should tell you that couple probably shouldn't have gotten married. I doubt their marriage would have been great, had they found out afterwards that they don't much like living together or having sex with each other.

I think part of it is the belief that if they're living together, they'll have premarital sex. Which they shouldn't have because...reasons.

My thoughts exactly. My girlfriend says that she is not allowed by the edicts of her (non-Christian, non-Muslim) religion to live with me. She's stayed over on the couch a couple of times when she's visited me which has given me a bit of an insight into how she is as a roommate, but I'm still pondering what this means for us.

Dude that's got to end, you can't marry someone without knowing the person almost fully first. I find it weird that my girlfriend is a Christian and she has no trouble with those sins, I guess she hasn't been reading the bible much, I'll keep it that way.

[StealthySkeptic]

If you're down that way, say Hi to all the bishops, cardinals, ministers and Jimmy for me....

Are you comparing me with clergymen and corrupt politicians?

---

My thoughts exactly. My girlfriend says that she is not allowed by the edicts of her (non-Christian, non-Muslim) religion to live with me. She's stayed over on the couch a couple of times when she's visited me which has given me a bit of an insight into how she is as a roommate, but I'm still pondering what this means for us.

Dude that's got to end, you can't marry someone without knowing the person almost fully first. I find it weird that my girlfriend is a Christian and she has no trouble with those sins, I guess she hasn't been reading the bible much, I'll keep it that way.

That's the thing, though, how do I know that it's a huge problem to live with her because I've never lived with her?! (I'm tired but maybe it makes sense?)

[Dystopia]

Are you comparing me with clergymen and corrupt politicians?

---

Dude that's got to end, you can't marry someone without knowing the person almost fully first. I find it weird that my girlfriend is a Christian and she has no trouble with those sins, I guess she hasn't been reading the bible much, I'll keep it that way.

That's the thing, though, how do I know that it's a huge problem to live with her because I've never lived with her?! (I'm tired but maybe it makes sense?)

Well you can't live with her without living with her, but before moving in together it's possible for you to already know each other's behaviour to an extend. I've slept with my girlfriend in hotels, my house, hostels, etc, we've cooked together, watched the dishes, cleaned the house, so we already got that idea of how it's going to be.

[Chad32]

I have brought up the idea of moving in with my significant other with my family. They just say you should marry before moving in together, and any difficulties will have to be dealt with afterwards. Obviously the system does work, but it seems like you're taking a big risk. The idea of spending the next 60+ years with another person doesn't seem to be taken as seriously by other people either. I've been told I can be picky about who I want to date, but if I'm trying to find someone to spend the majority of my life legally binded to, I should be picky.

[FatAndFaithless]

Kinda strange when so many Christians talk about "strong family values", but encourage starting a family (getting married) as soon as possible and without getting to know your partner intimately.

[vorlon13]

Dude that's got to end, you can't marry someone without knowing the person almost fully first. I find it weird that my girlfriend is a Christian and she has no trouble with those sins, I guess she hasn't been reading the bible much, I'll keep it that way.

Can't you find a devout Christian to torment ??

[Angrboda]

I would kind of expect to live with my significant other for a while before marriage too. I've heard that it makes breakups more likely, but then that should tell you that couple probably shouldn't have gotten married.

.... numerous researchers are finding that couples who live together have a higher rate of divorce than couples who don't cohabit before marrying. And prior to the divorce, these couples have lower rates of marital satisfaction.

Does living together before marriage lead to divorce?

I suspect that divorce rates, with or without cohabitation, are a result mostly of people having unrealistic expectations about the relationship. Some are just unrealistic people, some aren't too bright, and others lack education or relationship skills. My notion is that having realistic expectations and good relationship skills matter more to the long term success than whether or not you cohabitate beforehand or not.

[StealthySkeptic]

That's the thing, though, how do I know that it's a huge problem to live with her because I've never lived with her?! (I'm tired but maybe it makes sense?)

Well you can't live with her without living with her, but before moving in together it's possible for you to already know each other's behaviour to an extend. I've slept with my girlfriend in hotels, my house, hostels, etc, we've cooked together, watched the dishes, cleaned the house, so we already got that idea of how it's going to be.

Well, sleeping together is obviously not an option. As I said before, it took an entire year for us to kiss and she was barely able to justify it without it conflicting with her beliefs.