John, an atheist, moves to a new town in the bible belt. It's the last thing he wanted to do, but he just couldn't find work elsewhere.
On his way to his new home, John sees a man on the side of the road selling a Shotgun to a ten year old girl. He's shocked, appalled even. He had heard the stories about the gun nuts, but he didn't think any of them were that bad. So John gets out of his car, and approaches the man.
"Excuse me Sir," he says. "What are you doing?"
"Selling guns for Jesus," said the man.
"You can't sell a gun to a child."
"I can for Jesus," said the man.
"Now look, I hope you aren't offended. I don't believe in Jesus, but I also don't think, if he existed, he'd want you to carry around a shotgun, and he certainly wouldn't want you to sell to children."
"Don't believe in Jesus, huh?" asked the man. "Well then, maybe it's time you get educated. Let me take you to the local church. You'll see the evidence for yourself. Real hard evidence. And if you aren't convinced, then I'll stop selling my guns for Jesus."
John was reluctant. He didn't really want to get into an argument with anyone. He doubted he could make the man see reason in any case. But he figured he didn't have anything better to do, so he thought it'd be a good idea to meet the neighbors. And if they did have real proof, that he would be interested it So he agreed to go with them.
"Hey ya'll," said the man as he introduced John to the church. "This here's John and he don't believe in Jesus. I thought you all could convince him."
John was soon inundated by bad arguments for the existence of God.
"Second Law of Thermodynamics disproves Evolution!" one of the church goers says.
"If we all came from monkey's then why are there still monkey's?" asked another.
"You just want to be immoral!"
"You'll go to hell if you don't believe!"
John rolled his eyes, and left the church in a hurry. He couldn't believe he wasted his time, and he couldn't believe that these people would be his neighbors over the next couple of years. John ran into the man again on his way out.
"So mister, want to buy a gun for Jesus?"
John shook his head. "No! All those claims... they're stupid! The second law of thermodynamics is only for a closed system, which the earth is not. Of course we still have monkey's, why wouldn't we? And the argument about hell?"
"Yeah, i reckon there isn't a brain among them."
"Wait... that's your proof for Jesus?"
The man nodded. "Jesus died, and then came back to life. What does that make him? A zombie. What do Zombies eat? Brains. So I reckon he already got to all of them, and it's only a matter of time before he comes back. Now do you want a gun for Jesus, or do you want to take your chances against him unarmed?"
On his way to his new home, John sees a man on the side of the road selling a Shotgun to a ten year old girl. He's shocked, appalled even. He had heard the stories about the gun nuts, but he didn't think any of them were that bad. So John gets out of his car, and approaches the man.
"Excuse me Sir," he says. "What are you doing?"
"Selling guns for Jesus," said the man.
"You can't sell a gun to a child."
"I can for Jesus," said the man.
"Now look, I hope you aren't offended. I don't believe in Jesus, but I also don't think, if he existed, he'd want you to carry around a shotgun, and he certainly wouldn't want you to sell to children."
"Don't believe in Jesus, huh?" asked the man. "Well then, maybe it's time you get educated. Let me take you to the local church. You'll see the evidence for yourself. Real hard evidence. And if you aren't convinced, then I'll stop selling my guns for Jesus."
John was reluctant. He didn't really want to get into an argument with anyone. He doubted he could make the man see reason in any case. But he figured he didn't have anything better to do, so he thought it'd be a good idea to meet the neighbors. And if they did have real proof, that he would be interested it So he agreed to go with them.
"Hey ya'll," said the man as he introduced John to the church. "This here's John and he don't believe in Jesus. I thought you all could convince him."
John was soon inundated by bad arguments for the existence of God.
"Second Law of Thermodynamics disproves Evolution!" one of the church goers says.
"If we all came from monkey's then why are there still monkey's?" asked another.
"You just want to be immoral!"
"You'll go to hell if you don't believe!"
John rolled his eyes, and left the church in a hurry. He couldn't believe he wasted his time, and he couldn't believe that these people would be his neighbors over the next couple of years. John ran into the man again on his way out.
"So mister, want to buy a gun for Jesus?"
John shook his head. "No! All those claims... they're stupid! The second law of thermodynamics is only for a closed system, which the earth is not. Of course we still have monkey's, why wouldn't we? And the argument about hell?"
"Yeah, i reckon there isn't a brain among them."
"Wait... that's your proof for Jesus?"
The man nodded. "Jesus died, and then came back to life. What does that make him? A zombie. What do Zombies eat? Brains. So I reckon he already got to all of them, and it's only a matter of time before he comes back. Now do you want a gun for Jesus, or do you want to take your chances against him unarmed?"
The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to woman is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
