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joke time
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Breaking news:
There has been an explosion at a cheese factory in France. Da brie is everywhere. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
Cleaning mirrors might be a difficult job, but it’s one I could see myself doing.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 RE: joke time
September 7, 2020 at 7:43 am
(This post was last modified: September 7, 2020 at 7:43 am by ignoramus.)
I was amazed to listen to a particle physicist speak about the small but real possibility of time travel.
I complimented him on his highly granular cutting edge knowledge of the universe and jokingly asked him what would he do if he created it. He said he'd love to go back in time and speak with Adam and Eve.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear. 
Mountain oysters: the original sack lunch.
A few days ago I was walking through a car park and noticed a man's shirt protruding from the boot (trunk for you strange foreign devils from Trumpmania) of a large black car.
Upon further inspection I heard movement. So, carefully I forced the boot open and, sure enough, there was a man in it. "Please!", he said desperately, "I have children!" "It's okay," I replied, "I'm trying to rescue you!" "Please," he repeated, "just let me sleep for a few more hours!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
I had to leave/give away a lot of my tools for the move north.
I'm now looking for a married woman, recently cheated on, mad and scorned, who is willing to sell me her husband's garage tools for cheap 
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear. (September 8, 2020 at 1:02 am)ignoramus Wrote: I had to leave/give away a lot of my tools for the move north. From what I'm hearing there are fucking idiots marching in Melbourne right now. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
They're all fucked in the head down there. Seriously.
BUT, in their defence, stage 4 is the toughest restrictions in the world! Curfew at 9pm. All businesses closed except for a few essential services. Can only leave the house during the day for essential stuff, etc Expecting 30% of businesses to close permanently and 40% house price falls caused from mortgage defaults (because of no jobs) Not pretty. So glad I left.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
In all seriousness, I'm glad my house is freehold.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
15 years ago today my grandfather died because we couldn't remember his blood type.
His last words were, "Be positive!" I try to be, every day. But it's hard sometimes without him. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" |
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