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RE: joke time
August 17, 2022 at 8:58 am
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. “Is everything okay, pal?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasn’t going to talk to me for a month.”
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know… a little peace and quiet?”
“Yeah. But today is the last day…”
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RE: joke time
August 18, 2022 at 2:25 am
Me, "I'm here for the booze and the hookers!"
Her, "Ma'am, this is a library!"
Me (whispers), "I'm here for the booze and the hookers!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
August 18, 2022 at 5:21 am
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
August 18, 2022 at 11:54 am
“How would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
While teaching a class a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:
“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said: “Just a minute I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying: “That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said: “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said: “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
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RE: joke time
August 19, 2022 at 10:58 pm
Little Billy runs home crying.
Mother, "Why are you crying, Billy?"
Billy, "The priest just washed out my mouth with soap!"
Mother, "Did you say a bad word?"
Billy, "No, he said it was to get rid of his DNA!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
August 19, 2022 at 11:05 pm
Her, "I'm pregnant."
Him "Hi, pregnant. I'm dad!"
Her, "No, you're not."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 35945
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RE: joke time
August 20, 2022 at 8:10 am
Having a healthy sex life helps improve your memory.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
August 21, 2022 at 4:23 am
Dracula films are never rebooted, just revamped.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
August 21, 2022 at 11:31 am
‘If Donald Trump hadn’t inherited all that money from his father, what do you think he’d be doing now?’
‘25 to life.’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
August 21, 2022 at 4:22 pm
If you wear a falconry glove to a park and look around frantically at the sky, everyone with a small dog will leave.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
