joke time

[The Valkyrie]

So, the value of Trump stocks has dropped below 18.

Better keep it away from Matt Gaetz.

[A. Secular Human]

So, the value of Trump stocks has dropped below 18.

Better keep it away from Matt Gaetz.

And Catholic priests.

[A. Secular Human]

I understand that Catholic priests are now insisting that their choir boys get a tattoo on their left butt cheek that says

"Best By Date: <boy's10th birthday>"


(I just made that one up. I'm one sick mofo.)

[Sheldon]

A group of nuns are killed in a car crash, and they all go to the pearly gates.

St Peter is waiting, and he says:

"Welcome ladies, I want you all to know that we think you've done enough to enter into heaven, but this is on the condition you answer a question with absolute honesty."

He turns to the Mother Superior, and says:

"It's fitting I start with you Mother Superior, so can you tell me, have you ever touched a man's penis?"

The Mother Superior stiffens a little, and then says:

"Well I was a nurse for years before I took my vows, but yes, I once accidentally touched the tip of a man's penis with my little finger."

"Thank you for answering honestly" says St Peter, "if you'd like to wash that little finger in the holy water there, you may proceed into heaven."

He then turns to sister Angelique, and says:

"Same question to you sister Angelique, have you ever touched a man's penis?"

Sister Angelique looks very embarrassed, and says:

"Well I did once handle a man's penis, but that was before I took my vows."

"That's fine" says St Peter, "Thank you for answering honestly, if you could wash your hands in the holy water there, you may proceed into heaven."

Just then he notices sister Susan move out of line, and cut in front of sister Mary, so he moves over and says:

"Sister Susan, there is absolutely no need to worry, as long as you all answer honestly, you will all get into heaven."





"Oh I know that" says sister Susan, "but if I'm going to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before sister Mary puts her arse in there. "

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

We Irish invented the after-party. We called it ‘a wake’.

Boru

[The Valkyrie]

We Irish invented the after-party. We called it ‘a wake’.

Boru

In the name of the father
And the son,
And into the hole he goes!
- Dave Allen

[Silver]

Saw this on FB.

What do you call a group of phobes?

---

A Rowling

---

[The Valkyrie]

Intern, "I got my papers. I'm now a Certified Professional!"

Me, "That's not what "Registered Sex Offender" means!"

[The Valkyrie]

I told my boss women are better than men because we can multitask!

He said, "then sit down and shut up!"

The diabolical bastard!

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

shatnerfreude: Finding pleasure in embarrassing performances by a well-known actor.

Boru