How to deal with opposite opinion

[marianomanto]

Hello! I write you people because you are most likely to be more experienced than I am on this matter.

I was raised catholic but I stopped beliving a long time ago. However, I never said to anyone I dont belive in god because my family is very religious, and judgemental. At the point I continued going to church sometimes and prying on family meetings. Recently I have been reading a lot about the subject, and following Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens on their books and conferences. I no longer live in my parents house and I decided I cannot be a hypocrite anymore and when the subject came out talking with my roomates, who defend the tradition of every religion as if they were justified just because they traditions, I had my first discussion about it.

My arguments were that parents shouldnt impose their religion on children (specially when they are young and highly suceptible to fantasy and fear) just because it was imposed to them, by telling them hell is real, all the lies of the bible or coran, and most importantly they should not circumcise them.

I belive lying to children and controling them with fear, circumcising them, and forcing them to belive without evidence are inmoral acts, they are wrong. And I know for my own experience (my church was opus dei).

They went wild, when I touched religion they treated me as a monster. Quote: "I feel embarrased of you when I hear you say that".
They state that my atheist beliefs are as fanatic as any fanatic religion beliefs

Am I wrong? They argue I should not judge, that each family should do as he thinks better with his children and what is inmoral for me may be moral for them. Are those topics immune? Shouldnt be taken into discussion rationally?
How does one avoid these harsh confrontations? I sense I will be having several in the future and with a lot of beloved people. I want to stand for what I think but I hate being treated as a monster for not beliving.

Thank you!

[Minimalist]

Am I wrong?

No. They are.

The biggest assholes always think they are right.

The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only opposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts at rational thinking. Not by accident does Genesis 3 make the father of knowledge a serpent — slimy, sneaking and abominable. Since the earliest days the church, as an organization, has thrown itself violently against every effort to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and everywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad laws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an apologist for slavery, as it was the apologist for the divine right of kings.
— H L Mencken

[Lucanus]

They argue I should not judge, that each family should do as he thinks better with his children and what is inmoral for me may be moral for them.

How hypocrite of them. First they judge your lack of belief and then they tell you not to judge others. Classic.

By the way, are you Italian? I noticed some small details

[marianomanto]

Thanks for the answers guys. I am Argentinian, living in Italy

Anyway, in the future, should I avoid these discussions? Are they a waste of time? Or is there a way to face them?

They dont talk to me on the house, it is like if I was not there anymore. They wont even have dinner with me ...

[Esquilax]

They went wild, when I touched religion they treated me as a monster. Quote: "I feel embarrased of you when I hear you say that".
They state that my atheist beliefs are as fanatic as any fanatic religion beliefs

Was that seriously the extent of the conversation? Simple mocking followed by a baseless tu coque fallacy?

Man, fuck those guys. Further conversation would be totally pointless if they can't muster more than run of the mill schoolyard bullying tactics. But then, from that brief snippet I get the feeling they were less interested in conversing with you as they were in just silencing you completely.

[Lucanus]

Thanks for the answers guys. I am Argentinian, living in Italy

Just like the pope!

Anyway, in the future, should I avoid these discussions? Are they a waste of time? Or is there a way to face them?

They dont talk to me on the house, it is like if I was not there anymore. They wont even have dinner with me ...

I think you should not consider them family anymore. They have shunned you because of your beliefs, and that means they value their shitty religion over a human being.

Actually, there is one thing you could tell them... They are behaving like Jehova's Witnesses!

[ignoramus]

Matey. No-one can be sure of anything.
Only 1 thing can blind a person into believing in something 100%.
Self delusion.

Ask yourself, are they prepared to put their "fanatical" beliefs before their own children's safety?

I rest my case.
Remember, a brainwashed person doesn't realise they are brainwashed.

The only effective thing left is to say:

I am truly ashamed that anybody can put their childish skydaddy beliefs before their own "real" flesh and blood.

[marianomanto]

Was that seriously the extent of the conversation? Simple mocking followed by a baseless tu coque fallacy?

Well of course it was longer than I can put here, I suppose they could have gotten offended when I said that people that claim that had a supernatural encounter or experience (like my own grandmother says she had) are, for me, more likely to: be lying, confused or alucinating.

And one of them has an aunt that saw a light sometime, somewhere on a farm and didnt like what I said. He said I was insulting all religious people, including people on his family.
I totally didnt mean to of course...

Do you think I should apologize? I totally dont feel like I should, but like I said before, Ive no experience on these, I spent the last 10 years pretending I belive to avoid these...

thanks everyone for your attention on such boring post

[Esquilax]

Well of course it was longer than I can put here, I suppose they could have gotten offended when I said that people that claim that had a supernatural encounter or experience (like my own grandmother says she had) are, for me, more likely to: be lying, confused or alucinating.

Consider what a person is actually saying when they get offended at that idea: they don't like the intimation that they're lying, which is fine, because they can tell that they aren't. But they're also getting offended at idea that they might be wrong, which is just pure ego.

Put simply, if they get arch at you because you think they might be mistaken, then they are on the wrong side of that conversation.

And one of them has an aunt that saw a light sometime, somewhere on a farm and didnt like what I said. He said I was insulting all religious people, including people on his family.
I totally didnt mean to of course...

You weren't insulting anyone, because "I think you might be mistaken," is not an insult in any other context. The only reason they're treating it as such is because their beliefs can't stand up to the sort of scrutiny that would prove them right, and so religious culture has built up this idea that it's inappropriate to ever question religion as a defense mechanism. Ask them why they think what you said was insulting, and see what happens.

I guarantee you, they won't be able to tell you, beyond the vague, intuitive squirming they feel at the idea.

Do you think I should apologize? I totally dont feel like I should, but like I said before, Ive no experience on these, I spent the last 10 years pretending I belive to avoid these...

thanks everyone for your attention on such boring post

No, you don't need to apologize. It's their problem, not yours.