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I have to share this with someone
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A friend on Facebook posted a status about hating Christmas, and her friend responded by saying she loves Christmas but hates Santa. So instead she tells her son Jesus brings the presents and put them under the tree.
I've been laughing for 4 hours.. 
"So close and yet so far" award for 2014
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.
Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped. Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses. Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder. Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."  (September 17, 2014 at 1:45 pm)badlydrawngirl Wrote: A friend on Facebook posted a status about hating Christmas, and her friend responded by saying she loves Christmas but hates Santa. So instead she tells her son Jesus brings the presents and put them under the tree. But then how, does Jesus deliver all those presents to the vast number of children throughout the world? And does Jesus REALLY eat the cookies and drink the milk we leave out? Doesn't he get tired of it, house after house? And what if we have a fire burning in the fireplace? How will Jesus get down the chimney? Won't he get burned? And we have a screen over the top of the chimney and it's only 8" in diameter? How will Jesus fit? Slimfast? Oh, let me guess....maaaaaaaggggggiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccc. 
So if he was naughty that year, does he get a stocking full of hellfire?
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."
-Stephen Jay Gould  RE: I have to share this with someone
September 17, 2014 at 1:55 pm
(This post was last modified: September 17, 2014 at 1:57 pm by MJ the Skeptical.)
Well if you're a Christian parent, why not say it's Jesus.. That way, you never had to reveal that Jesus isn't real and didn't bring them the presents.
If the hypothetical idea of an afterlife means more to you than the objectively true reality we all share, then you deserve no respect.
Child abuse is nothing to laugh about
(September 17, 2014 at 1:55 pm)Godslayer Wrote: Well if you're a Christian parent, why not say it's Jesus.. That way, you never had to reveal that Jesus isn't real and didn't bring them the presents. maybe it's a good idea, instead of growing to realize Santa isn't real he'll grow to realize Jesus isn't!
I wonder at what age Jesus stops bringing presents and it's just ol Mom&Dad on the "From:" tag?
How come Jesus don't bring me no presents no more ma? Jesus dont like me none? Well, Timmy.... 
Baba nouel huwwa yesu'
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