Weird things theists have told you

[Exian]

In my early 20's, my buddy and I went to our local watering hole with his lady and her friend. His GF was flashing everyone at the bar and grinding on everybody. it was pretty cool. We got plastered and went back to his house. His lady's friend left, leaving me with no prospect of getting lucky, so I went to my buddies room to play some drunk Halo. They came in and she started joking about wanting to get tag teamed, so my buddy and I obliged her. It was cool and everybody seemed to enjoy themselves.

Then we started coming down, and we were just kind of hanging out and talking. That's when she pulled out my buddies bible, knelt down at it, and prayed to god out loud, asking for forgiveness. I remember thinking "one minute ago you were asking me to lick your asshole." Haha

Actually, this is probably more typical of Christians than weird.

The worst part is, the three of us had a pretty adventurous sexual experience and her ideology wouldn't let her enjoy it. 10 years later, I have a fond memory, and she's probably convinced she's going to hell.

[polar bear]

What if he's hung like a parrot?

Polly want a cracker?

[Crossless2.0]

When I was a student at UNH, I had other students help me get from class to class (mainly just to open doors, press elevator buttons, that sort of thing). One of them was an incredibly religious young woman. She was sweet, but 100% brainwashed. She was engaged, but had never even held hands with the guy she was supposed to marry. They never kissed, nothing. She was absolutely convinced that even the slightest physical expression of their love would lead to them molesting each other then and there, which would be a huge sin and preclude them from having a happy, holy marriage.

My reaction was a befuddled, "...are you fucking kidding me?"

Yeah, but just think of those 20 seconds of bliss on their wedding night! I'm sure the frustration and anxiety was worth it.

[abaris]

Yeah, but just think of those 20 seconds of bliss on their wedding night! I'm sure the frustration and anxiety was worth it.

Probably 30 seconds of getting it over with, followed by hours of praying for forgiveness. Bliss doesn't come into the equation as far as Kevin's description goes. And I highly doubt, she will even know how to spell orgasm in her marriage.

[Nope]

I used to belong to a forum devoted to mocking the purity movement. Yes, I am horrible.

Some individuals in the purity movement believe that any stray sexual thought is a form of adultery toward their future spouse. Many of them believe that any type of masturbation is wrong also.( I swear to the flying spaghetti monster that is true. ) It isn't just that the couple are physical virgins, they don't even have the slightest idea what their own needs are. My first sexual experience was with another virgin but we each has some rough idea what felt good for our own bodies.

I might make a new thread with some links. Purity culture is amazingly weird and sad.

There is nothing wrong with waiting to have sex until you are married or in having multiple partners either. The purity culture adds a layer of guilt and shame that doesn't have to be part of young people's lives.

[The Valkyrie]

I used to belong to a forum devoted to mocking the purity movement. Yes, I am horrible.

Some individuals in the purity movement believe that any stray sexual thought is a form of adultery toward their future spouse. Many of them believe that any type of masturbation is wrong also.( I swear to the flying spaghetti monster that is true. ) It isn't just that the couple are physical virgins, they don't even have the slightest idea what their own needs are. My first sexual experience was with another virgin but we each has some rough idea what felt good for our own bodies.

I might make a new thread with some links. Purity culture is amazingly weird and sad.

There is nothing wrong with waiting to have sex until you are married or in having multiple partners either. The purity culture adds a layer of guilt and shame that doesn't have to be part of young people's lives.

I cringe about the abstinence only movement. Especially when some of the girls assume anal sex is okay since they're still "virgins".

[abaris]

Some individuals in the purity movement believe that any stray sexual thought is a form of adultery toward their future spouse. Many of them believe that any type of masturbation is wrong also.( I swear to the flying spaghetti monster that is true. ) It isn't just that the couple are physical virgins, they don't even have the slightest idea what their own needs are. My first sexual experience was with another virgin but we each has some rough idea what felt good for our own bodies.

I saw a documentary about the once. It's more than scary, since surpressed sexuality always finds an outlet in pretty ugly ways. These people are fucked up for life.

[Crossless2.0]

I cringe about the abstinence only movement. Especially when some of the girls assume anal sex is okay since they're still "virgins".

Because someone had to . . .

[youtube]KpaLFRQD090[/youtube]

[The Valkyrie]

[Elskidor]

I think most things they say are just plain weird so it's hard to pick just one.