Ha ha: If you were God what would you do?

[emilynghiem]

Ha ha, someone posted this question online and, of course, I had to answer it in longwinded EmilyNghiemilism (or in Hebrew MLNMLSM).

Short Answer: I would give everyone a headache trying to explain what I would do "if I were God" (with the powers of the Christian/Muslim God). Long Answer: see below, to be taken with a couple of aspirin, or maybe stronger medications.... Enjoy the trip!

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Hmmm, I would use forums, just like this one, to connect people by the internet willing to resolve conflicts and mediate between the various religious and political groups, and move them to call for conferences and Constitutional conventions to form an agreement on how to handle political beliefs, so that a consensus can be formed on volatile issues of clashing beliefs (and/or how to separate funding and keep these out of govt), and how to teach and reform various religious teachings that reconcile and include all groups so these can work together in agreement on sustainable solutions to social issues (and quit wasting resources fighting over control and projecting blame for problems which isn't solving anything).

I would connect doctors and researchers to prove how spiritual healing works naturally, in conjunction with science and medicine, to reform the mental health, criminal justice, and health care systems; in order to convert prisons into medical treatment centers for rehab, recovery and prevention, and save lives and resources, redirected to provide services to entire populations instead of wasting billions on a failed criminal justice system focused on judgment and punishment instead of preventing crime by correcting the causes.

Artists, writers and producers would also organize through the internet to create positive media messages that are both educational, entertaining, and marketable for raising funds for good causes and solutions to economic, political and social problems. So this would speed up the educational outreach, and create jobs and internships to build schools and campuses for medical and social services for sustainable development in all areas of the world, rich or poor to stabilize the global economy -- especially replacing sweatshop factories and human trafficking with schools and daycares, built with labor and resources invested as restitution for organized crime and corporate corruption that has targeted the most vulnerable populations, where the meek shall inherit the earth and be paid back for the debts and damages wreaked on humanity.

All this would be done by spreading the knowledge that forgiveness allows conflicts to be resolved, and all forms of ills to be healed, so people can work together more productively to correct the wrongs in the world, regardless of religious or political views and affiliations.

I would have secular gentiles join with Christian theists to teach that the meaning of Christ Jesus is Restorative Justice: proving through studies that forgiveness correlates with ability for leaders to solve conflicts and create effective solutions (while unforgiveness correlates with inability to reconcile as needed to lead effectively), and campaigning for people and groups to forgive one another, in order to correct and heal all wrongs, to work together for restitution and solutions in society, and to elect and appoint leadership able to implement solutions instead of waste resources on political conflicts and wars. In this way, lasting Peace and Justice would be established worldwide, by establishing agreement in truth among all tribes and nations joined together in the spirit of Restorative Justice or Christ Jesus embodied in all people unified as one church or community, realizing the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in Heaven.

Thus all people will forgive and receive one another in the spirit of Truth and Wisdom, Justice with Mercy, Healing Comfort and Grace to bring Peace and Harmony for all Humanity which is the meaning of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Oh, and I would find writers and editors who can take long messages like this, and edit them down where anyone can understand them. Sorry, yes, humans are not perfect, and are created to help each other do work that will take whole teams to organize. Life is like a symphony, and it will take different instruments from all sections playing in harmony to complete the score. So I would organize the team players and leaders by section, and call them forward to get this show on the road!

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If DOC or ROB reads this, please translate into English any parts you might actually agree sound cool and fun. This is what I would do, but don't listen to me literally, because I have been declared a Universalist going to hell, remember? So if you follow what I say, then we'd all end up in hell instead (which I arguing wasn't always a bad thing according to Buddhism if the point is to help souls who end up lost down there without a GPS to get back home). Whatever I advise, do the opposite, if you want to go to the opposite place to where I am heading with my horrible teachings. Me bad! Somebody spank me, for causing headaches to whoever made the mistake of asking this question. I am sure they are repenting and sorry they asked, if they don't like my answer. Sorry!

[Faith No More]

I'm a little unclear. Your question is what would you do if you were god, but your answer seems to be more geared towards a what would you do if you became god sort of question.

Because if I was god, the world would look nothing like this at all. There would be no silly need for redemption or justice. Hell, there probably wouldn't be a world full of my pets at all, because I wouldn't be that insecure of a god. So, what would I do if I was god? I would just stew in my own holy juices, because I'm a god. That's all the satisfaction I would need.

[Metis]

Well I already know what I do? I park my arse on a sofa up in the clouds and watch the poor itty bitty cute baby zebra getting mauled to death by lions. When I'm not helping the local evangelical pastor find his car keys or cast out the feminist demons of course.

[FlyingSpaghettiMonster]

What do you mean "if"?

[Spooky]

I'd troll everybody. Convince them I didn't exist, then fuck em over when they become atheists.

[emilynghiem]

What do you mean "if"?

Like OJ Simpson, IF.

[Metis]

I'd troll everybody. Convince them I didn't exist, then fuck em over when they become atheists.

It's more fun than you think. Watching their jaws drop when they wake up over a pit of fire and I'm just like..."Surprise motherfucker!".

Gets me every-time

[Fidel_Castronaut]

Backflip

[Crossless2.0]

In my almighty scheme of things, salvation would come down to a contest very similar to Takeshi's Castle.

[Faith No More]

Like OJ Simpson, IF.

That's too funny for just a kudos.