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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!

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Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
CapnAwesome Offline Donators
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#21
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 4:42 pm (This post was last modified: February 19, 2015 at 4:42 pm by CapnAwesome.)
It sounds like the people in hell will be having way better sex in the afterlife.
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Exian Offline
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#22
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 4:50 pm
This came to mind:

Quote:Adam Sandler – My Little Chicken Lyrics
When I'm feeling down
And feeling sad
You come around
And make me glad
I got you
Oh, my little chicken

I love your feet
I love your breasts
I love the way you eat gravel
To help you digest
Oh, my little chicken

People say you're using me
In your heart you're a killer
But I know the worst
I should fear is
A slight case of salmonella
So lie right back
Don't you cry
If an egg can fit in there
Why can't I.....mmmmmmm
Oh my little

Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawk
Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawk
Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawking Bawk,
Bawk, Bawk, Bawking Bawk

You're my love
My little chicken likes
To wear garter belts
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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vorlon13 Offline
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#23
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 4:54 pm
I have way slow internet so I'm not able to watch the video, but I'm betting he omitted sounding.

And as noted above, what is not forbidden is required.

Wink Shades
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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Jacob(smooth) Offline Donators
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#24
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 5:02 pm
(February 19, 2015 at 4:54 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: I have way slow internet so I'm not able to watch the video, but I'm betting he omitted sounding.

And as noted above, what is not forbidden is required.

Wink Shades

I'm sure he'd be fine with that so long as it's a man doing it .

To a woman obviously. ..
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Sith code
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emilynghiem Offline
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#25
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 5:11 pm
CAN WE DO IT IN A BOX?
IN A THREESOME WITH A FOX?

NOT IN A BOX. NOT WITH A FOX.
NOT IN A HOUSE. NOT WITH A MOUSE.
YOU CANNOT DO THAT HERE OR THERE.
GOD WILL SEE YOU ANYWHERE!
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rexbeccarox Offline
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#26
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 5:14 pm
This thread is starting to sound like a John Waters movie.

Damn, that pastor is hilarious! I bet his wife hates him, though.
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CapnAwesome Offline Donators
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#27
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 5:23 pm
(February 19, 2015 at 5:14 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote: This thread is starting to sound like a John Waters movie.

Damn, that pastor is hilarious! I bet his wife hates him, though.

Maybe she doesn't hate him, but she probably loves the mailman.
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Exian Offline
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#28
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 5:27 pm
I've done it cow style a few times. 10/10
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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Jackalope Offline
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#29
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 5:31 pm
So, I can't be bothered to watch the video.

I'm assuming piledriver is still on the menu?
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Crossless2.0 Offline
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#30
RE: Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!
February 19, 2015 at 5:36 pm
(February 19, 2015 at 5:31 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: So, I can't be bothered to watch the video.

I'm assuming piledriver is still on the menu?

I devoutly hope so. And fisting. I don't think that was prohibited.
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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Finally! The definitive list of sexual positions which will sentence you to Hell!

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