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JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
#11
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
(February 19, 2015 at 5:14 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: I suppose I should have clarified, my review was for the movie, not the book. Didn't read it. Ain't gonna after seeing the movie.

My GF and I wanted to see it on Valentines Day (Ok, she wanted to see it, but I was game), so we did. Went to a nice theater where you can order drinks and food. The audience was mostly uncomfortably silent, other than the occasional outburst of laughter at not funny parts. Yeah, good stuff.

The movie's biggest sin was, as others have said: it was not hot and it was boring. No chemistry between the actors and extremely dumb dialogue.

But, all that being said, my GF and I are still getting mileage out of making fun of the movie, so, it was money sorta well-spent-ish in that sense. I tease her now about my deserving punishments and so on. And "I want you in the play room! 15 minutes!". We work with what we gots.

It's not the worst movie of all time - there is Plan 9 from Outer Space, Santa Claus vs. the Martians and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes to contend with - but it's a right up there for a big budget feature. I'd probably still give the nod to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. That was a true stinker. Stinky, stinky britches!

You are a real sport to see this with your GF. What kind of favors
did you get for that? ;-)

The closest me or my bf will get to this movie is critique of other people's reviews and reactions as a cultural benchmark.

Of the two political discussion threads I've been on about this, they both went off on complete tangents on what people "think is the problem" is with this group or that group unrelated to the story. It was never about the movie or book, but an excuse to opine on popular culture, media marketing (even consent in relations that brought up issues with consent in govt, whether people fully consent or have no choice but submit to keep the relationship going).
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#12
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
I haven't seen the book or read the movie, so I'll rate it using the number of letters in my middle name: 5. Out of something.
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#13
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
(February 19, 2015 at 6:48 pm)emilynghiem Wrote: You are a real sport to see this with your GF. What kind of favors
did you get for that? ;-)

Undying adulation!

She is quite the sport as well having accompanied me to many seedy music shows, including post-sludge-metal band Neurosis. It was so loud, even with hearing protection our ears were ringing afterwards and our guts felt like they were kicked over and over. Nonetheless, she managed to fall asleep during a most pummeling part of the show. Tetanus shot not required, but highly recommended. Good times!

Quote:The closest me or my bf will get to this movie is critique of other people's reviews and reactions as a cultural benchmark.

Wise move.
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#14
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
Haven't seen the movie. A girl friend demanded I read the series--she and her mother loved it. She thought I would like it because I'm, well, a little kinky. I read the first book and I didn't like it. It's not well written. It's implausible. And the kink isn't creative. Frankly, it's less about sex and more about a controlling man generally--and not in a good way. Adding a bunch of psycho babble about why he is the way he is didn't help.

I held my noise for the first few chapters of the second book and gave up. I don't think I would have managed the first except that I read at about twice the speed of normal mortals.

If you want mainstream kink done right read Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god.  If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
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#15
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
I haven't seen "50 Shades Of Grey" and I'm not gonna. I don't like black&white movies...
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw
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#16
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
Of course it sucked. It started off as Twilight fan fiction. No joke.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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#17
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
I saw the preview, not for me at all, maybe for a frustrated house wife.
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#18
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
Did anyone count whether it really had the 50 shades promised on the tin?
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#19
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
I tried reading the free amazon preview a long time ago but was so bored I couldn't even make it through the whole first chapter. The only reason I made it all the way through the Twilight books was because my sister gave me pirated copies of the audiobooks.

From the teeny-tiny bit of 50 Shades I managed to slog through the main girl character seemed as characterless as Bella, and the main guy character seemed just as super-creepy and controlling as Edward, and seeing as how I hated both of those characters in their original incantations, and found their entire relationship in the Twilight books to be vacuous and insipid (not to mention completely superficial and unhealthy and I have major issues with a book directed at teen girls that holds up relationships like this as the pinnacle of romance and love) I couldn't bear the thought of reading about those exact same people all over again.

Won't see the movie on principle. I don't want to mare my image of Jamie Dornan as the serial killer from The Fall (a show he was fantastic in) and I saw an interview with the main girl on Jimmy Fallon and she was the worst interview.
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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#20
RE: JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey
It's based on twilight fan fiction for fuck sake. It's distilled awful.

Truly a
[Image: croc+of+shit+elliott+quince.jpg]
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Sith code
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