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poop terrorist on the lose
#11
RE: poop terrorist on the lose
(March 15, 2015 at 1:53 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I heard about this on the radio. Apparently, he wasn't just pooping on them. He smeared it all over, including the door handle.

It's stuff like this that stops us from being invited into the Galactic Federation.

I used to work in bars and pubs when I was younger, and my god the shit you'd see (literally).

One night I remember we were closing up after a busy Saturday evening. We'd regularly check the toilets to make sure people aren't dead or dying in there.

I opened the women's toilet doors and was immediately hit by an awful smell I can only describe as what I imagine a sulfer pit in hell would smell like to Christians who imagine it exists. A trail of liquid poop on the floor mixed with chunder led to a cubicle which was closed. It was like a set of a horror movie, when you know the people shouldn't go upstairs or enter the locked, dark room but they do it anyway.

I didn't call for backup, my nose was telling me to turn back and call it in, but my curiosity got the better of me. Plus there could be someone dying in there. I crept forward, noticing on my excursion that the line of poop, whilst fairly linear, was also smeared over the toilet mirror and sink basins.

So I opened up the door, gently, not know what I would be faced with, and the scene was even more hilarious/disgusting than I'd imagined. I bet you all who read this imagined there would be a girl covered in poop and piss over a vomcano right? You're half right. Imagine two girls, one semi naked, covered in excrement, passed out over another girl who was also passed out (but dressed) covered in vomit and excrement.
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#12
RE: poop terrorist on the lose
(March 17, 2015 at 1:26 pm)Pandæmonium Wrote:
(March 15, 2015 at 1:53 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I heard about this on the radio. Apparently, he wasn't just pooping on them. He smeared it all over, including the door handle.

It's stuff like this that stops us from being invited into the Galactic Federation.

I used to work in bars and pubs when I was younger, and my god the shit you'd see (literally).

One night I remember we were closing up after a busy Saturday evening. We'd regularly check the toilets to make sure people aren't dead or dying in there.

I opened the women's toilet doors and was immediately hit by an awful smell I can only describe as what I imagine a sulfer pit in hell would smell like to Christians who imagine it exists. A trail of liquid poop on the floor mixed with chunder led to a cubicle which was closed. It was like a set of a horror movie, when you know the people shouldn't go upstairs or enter the locked, dark room but they do it anyway.

I didn't call for backup, my nose was telling me to turn back and call it in, but my curiosity got the better of me. Plus there could be someone dying in there. I crept forward, noticing on my excursion that the line of poop, whilst fairly linear, was also smeared over the toilet mirror and sink basins.

So I opened up the door, gently, not know what I would be faced with, and the scene was even more hilarious/disgusting than I'd imagined. I bet you all who read this imagined there would be a girl covered in poop and piss over a vomcano right? You're half right. Imagine two girls, one semi naked, covered in excrement, passed out over another girl who was also passed out (but dressed) covered in vomit and excrement.

Sounds like a fun bar. What was it called and how can I get there?



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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#13
RE: poop terrorist on the lose
That certainly tops anything I ever experienced working at a movie theater.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#14
RE: poop terrorist on the lose
(March 17, 2015 at 1:26 pm)Pandæmonium Wrote: Imagine two girls, one semi naked, covered in excrement, passed out over another girl who was also passed out (but dressed) covered in vomit and excrement.

Was that a case warranting emergency services?
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#15
RE: poop terrorist on the lose
(March 17, 2015 at 2:49 pm)abaris Wrote:
(March 17, 2015 at 1:26 pm)Pandæmonium Wrote: Imagine two girls, one semi naked, covered in excrement, passed out over another girl who was also passed out (but dressed) covered in vomit and excrement.

Was that a case warranting emergency services?

Lol, yes unfortunately. I imagine they woke up in horror in A&E in a hospital gown with a nurse frowning over them holding a bag full of poop and their clothes.

I wasn't senior enough to see the CCTV of what happened during the night so I don't know if they ended up in that state due to some nefarious activities. I like to imagine they just forgot that drinking too much was bad, but it was never a dull night at that pub. Good memories.
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