Trying to Decide Something

[Drich]

He had to add you, if he is not answering then Your probably a plan "b" or possibly a future project/option he may want to explore later. If he is everything thing you say he was to you, I'm sure some Joey finds the same qualities appealing. Meaning he's probably with someone at the moment (plan a) and wants to ride that train a little further down the track.

Thanks for the info on google. Other than that, what a shitty thing to say. Obviously, I've considered the fact that he might be with someone else.

You're probably wanting to revisit your relationship because you are ready to settle down, (you mentioned your age and that you never married) and some times it is much easier for us to move backwards than it is to move forwards. Why? Because forwards there are a lot of unknown and un knowables to contend with. These variables are not good 'nest making material.'

No, actually, I never wanted to get married, except to Dale. I still don't, and probably wouldn't; even to Dale. As for moving forward, that's not a problem, thanks.

However when we pine over the one that got away, we can bend our memories to fit whatever need we think we have at the movement. This type of idealization leads to compromise and eventually heart break, because it prevents you from seeing what is in front of your face... Piners tend to ignore who people are, for who they have made them out to be and will even go so far as to wait on the person they have created all the while putting up with crap from someone like this guy, that they never would with anyone else.

Obviously, you missed the part where I kept complete journals of the entire time. Of everything: the good, the bad, and the downright nasty.

i have been the one who has gotten away, and had one like your Aussie buddy get away. And spoke with both of them 15 years or so later... To borrow a line from Garth Brooks: "Some times I thank God for unanswered prayers." I was a completely different person when I went out with both of those other women 15 or so years ago. One girl we had one of those if we are not married by 35 pacts. We dated each other and loved each other for about two weeks, and fought like cats and dogs. Then we would go off with someone else the when we broke up with our other dates or even while one was dating someone else's we would get back together and wonder why we ever broke up to begin with.. Then about two weeks later we never wanted to see each other again.. This went on for years... If I married her I would have an episode of dateline done on us, and I'd be in jail.

I have no idea what any of this has to do with my situation.

The point? People change. Find someone suitable for you now, not who you were 15 years ago.

My point? I'm not looking for "someone"... not even Dale. If it were to work out that way, it would be awesome. My first and only actual goal in this is to apologize, and possibly give him a nice walk down memory lane if he'd like it.

Voltron seem.... Ummseems .... Entertaining. And not Internet murdery. That's a start. Plus he uses the animal emoti's which speaks volumes to a non Internet murdery personality... (But if you do get murdered by him I had nothing to do with it..) that said he does seem a little creepy/stalkie.

Don't project.

Maybe you should just wait for your Aussie and give it three weeks before you get married.

I can think of a few "maybes" for you too.

Good luck ca-rox

Yeah. Thanks.

Look: I'm all for constructive criticism. My sister had a few tough things to say to me tonight about all this, and I'm taking her advice, which after the tough things she said, was basically, "you need to do this, Becca." I'm not blind and I'm not stupid. I have no scenario in my brain as to how this will end up going down.

You, Drich, have to passive-aggressively dig, as that's your personality. I don't appreciate it. Others give honest advice; you're just looking to be as mean as possible while trying to look like you're being nice. No one buys it, especially not I.

Funny I fancied myself as combative aggressive person.. Like for instance if I were looking to 'dig' I would/could easily go line by line and do that very thing. Because I generally do not have any issue telling people anything. But rather here I thought I was very delicately putting my two cents in, by directing you to move on. Because even if you are the same person you were 15 years ago, he most likly is not. however if both of you remained in the shallow end of the pool most of your adult lives, and did not grow intelectually in the last 15 years. then you'd better snap this guy up, because you'll never be happy with anyone else.

Believe it or not, I did spend several years of my life counseling 'single' people, (even got a few including myself married, there are even a dozen or so human beings on this planet that would not be here otherwise if not for those efforts.) and in that time never once was it a good idea to look up an old flame. That said, if you want people to just pat you on the back, and tell you what you want to hear, I'm sure you can get at least 1/2 a dozen pages of platitudes, and 'do what you feel is right' crap, from just about everyone else. I was just looking to try and bring some balance and common sense to this thread.. But, its your life and your thread, do what you will. My light bill gets paid no matter what you decide to do.

[rexbeccarox]

You're an asshole. I can't make you do it, but I'm asking you to stay out of my thread. I don't need your negativity... especially when you're obviously not reading what I write or choosing only to read what you want to see.

Kindly fuck off.

[Pizza]

There is nothing worst than a condescending asshole who doesn't know when to just shut up.

[Ravenshire]

There is nothing worst than a condescending asshole who doesn't know when to just shut up.

We must be talking about drippy.

[Thumpalumpacus]

There is nothing worst than a condescending asshole who doesn't know when to just shut up.

We must be talking about drippy.

... which is a bummer, considering the thread's topic. Becca's happiness is more important than any derailing attempt, I reckon.

[rexbeccarox]

That's really nice. Thanks, Thump

[Ravenshire]

We must be talking about drippy.

... which is a bummer, considering the thread's topic. Becca's happiness is more important than any derailing attempt, I reckon.

[rexbeccarox]

Oh, by the way: nothing Drich has said has any impact other than an increase in my distaste for Drich. Thanks for looking out, though, guys.

[Ravenshire]

I finally stuck him on ignore. Too tempted to beat him down but didn't want to be drawn to his level any longer.

All the best, Becca!

[Thumpalumpacus]

That's really nice. Thanks, Thump

Your OP made me think about a couple of things, and a couple of people, who hadn't been in my mind for years.

I was stationed in Spain during Desert Storm, with a B-52 bomber wing. I fell in love with a gal there, Isabela, under the oddest circumstances; I couldn't speak Spanish, and she couldn't speak English. But we could dance and drink espresso-and-brandy and read each others' eyes. I went and got a Spanish-English dictionary so's we could talk a little, and she taught me Spanish with it. We had three months together that were simply wonderful, and we talked about marriage, but both realized it wasn't really an option.

We carried on nonetheless, well aware of the fact that I would be sent back Stateside soon, and that gave our time together, our love, a richness and urgency that I've never had in any other relationship. I still wonder where she is and what's she's doing -- she was a nursing student at the Universidad de Seville.

I don't know if I could do what you're doing; I don't think I could, because I have a deep-seated distrust of looking backwards with anything more than nostalgia in mind. But if happiness is at the end of your road, then the path you've taken is true, I figure.

Thanks for the thread, it's reminded me of happier times myself.