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Am I being a hypocrite
March 24, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Hello all and hope you're all well.
Just want to pose a dillema that many of you will have come across.
I don't believe in an afterlife, however a close friend of mines' boyfriend has recently died, and when she asks me what I think, I find myself assuring her that I'm sure he's somewhere where they can both meet up when she dies.
Am I being a hypocrite, a coward or should I stand by and voice my real belief.
Thanks for listening
Chris
Archeologists near mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to be a
missing page from the Bible. The page is currently being carbon dated in
Bonn. If genuine it belongs at the beginning of the Bible and is believed to
read "To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are
fictitous and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely
coincidental." - Newsreader in 'Red Dwarf 2: Better Than Life'
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RE: Am I being a hypocrite
March 24, 2010 at 2:07 pm
When I was in that situation, I answered "I don't know" and similar sentiments and left it at that. It's not very comforting but it was as far as I was prepared to go. But, that doesn't mean you should do the same. It is your choice, you will have to deal with it. I am sorry for her loss.
Best regards,
Leo van Miert
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RE: Am I being a hypocrite
March 24, 2010 at 2:25 pm
You're only a hypocrite if you are espousing such a belief when you don't actually believe it. There is a line between doing that and what you are doing here, which is comforting someone by telling them a white lie.
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RE: Am I being a hypocrite
March 24, 2010 at 5:38 pm
Maybe to a certain degree you are but only to yourself. you don't have to believe it. We all feel obligated to console others in such a way.
you're right in saying we have probably all been in this situation. I personally had to comfort my 7 year old neice once when my father died. She simply could'nt make head nor tails of death, so i told her he was'nt really gone, that he was watching over her, blah blah, maybe I believe its a facade, a fantasy like any other, but it made a difference she no longer worries about it, maybe some might say i was wrong, i'll admit it was hvpocritical but who am i to tell a child that he's just dead, gone forever. who am i to tell an adult the same thing in their moments of grief just because its simply what i believe. Our minds are prone to our own self delusions when we are touched by death. I've observed my own such delusions over this last couple of year since my father passed away. Some people need some form of saftey net not just in this situation but in life itself.
So don't beat yourself up over it you're probably doing the right thing YOU HYPOCRITE!!!
To look is not to see,
to see is looked on in thy soul.
I bid MCMXCIX
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RE: Am I being a hypocrite
March 24, 2010 at 9:12 pm
the whole situation is difficult... I'm not sure what I would do, but you are lying when you're telling someone you think there is an afterlife and don't believe it. Perhaps I agree with Tiberius in the sense that you could still say 'I HOPE there is an afterlife and you'll meet with your loved one again' I wonder if I'll get the change to try every different scenario and see how they turn out.
'She's hopefully in a better place now' (can be interpreted by a theist as 'maybe she in hell' [not knowing you don't believe in the afterlife])
'She's definitely in hell given that according to certain verses in the Bible so few go to heaven'
'I'm an atheist, I believe that death is a termination of consciousness. I hope she died at ease though.'
note: atheists may believe in the afterlife. just because you're an atheist, doesn't mean you don't believe in an afterlife, though atheists usually don't believe in the afterlife. I'm just questioning choice of words here, i'm not trying to say that you believe in the afterlife and just don't know it.
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RE: Am I being a hypocrite
March 25, 2010 at 5:00 am
(This post was last modified: March 25, 2010 at 5:01 am by fr0d0.)
All talk of an afterlife is just bollocks. Sympathy isn't talking shit - it's offering realistic comfort... stuff like we remember the good times, note the persons influence, ... focussing on the positives and celebrating the life rather than letting our loss stop us functioning. Pointing out the necessity for grief and tears and the healing properties of that.
odcast:: 
