Quitting habits.

[robvalue]

I do the same thing Chatting to myself, that is. It helps me see things more objectively rather than looping in my head.

[Edwardo Piet]

I would if I was alone so I am not seen as crazy but I am never alone haha.

Maybe I should start writing?

Sometimes I feel that the way I procrastinate and fail to give up bad habits suggests I lack enough self control.

I feel I lack it to such an extent that it gets me down and I need to sort it long term.

I feel I need to get organized. I feel frustrated, like I am letting myself down, like I feel I have power I don't use.

I want to sort this. I can. I need to then. I feel I need to stop searching for "how-to's" and just apply what I know.

I feel like I make it harder and more complicated than it has to be. I feel like I overcomplicate life so much.

[SteelCurtain]

You have to figure out what motivates you, and play on that. For me, that sense of control over my life was a big thing. I wanted to stop biting my nails, same as you, I did it compulsively. I did a tally system where I marked on a calendar the consecutive days when I didn't bite my nails. I could visually see and measure my progress. It became a source of internal pride how long I was able to keep it up. It takes some maintenance, and I started a little rough (subconscious biting), but I succeeded and I don't bite my nails any more. It felt great to gain control. And once you pass that hurdle, it spills over into other aspects of your life.

The porn thing probably resolved itself as your adolescent/teenage hormone cocktail regulated itself and you got into a relationship.

[Jericho]

SC makes a good point. I also like what you brought up about writing. I write all the time, though for me it is something I do for enjoyment and to pass time. However, I am sure that writing will help you get through some of what is going on. I agree that you should give it a shot.

[Edwardo Piet]

Although doing it for enjoyment could help.

Think it's about willpower but also time management.

[Jericho]

Another way I got over my stress in the past was by reading. Since then it has developed into one of my favorite pastimes, but it started as nothing more than a way to get away from my life. I am not saying that you don't read, for I am sure that you read at least occasionally. But for me it helped to do it literally whenever I had a few minutes to spare.

[John V]

I want to sort this. I can. I need to then. I feel I need to stop searching for "how-to's" and just apply what I know.

I feel like I make it harder and more complicated than it has to be. I feel like I overcomplicate life so much.

BINGO

The information available today can be a great thing. But, a lot of people are hitting information overload and accordingly can't make decisions effectively.

Start by answering every question that comes to you with...an answer. Maybe A or maybe B isn't an answer. Just say A or B. If the person who asked you the question doesn't like it, then too freakin bad for them. They shouldn't have asked the question if they didn't really want an answer.

[abaris]

I think the problem may be self-contempt and self-sabotage. I can come across as cocky but I feel it is a mask of artificial complacency and deep down my self esteem and self respect is rock bottom.

Yeah, that's why you need professional help. There are some stages in life where taking responsibility is just an empty phrase, since it can't be done. Believe me, I suffer from clinical depression, but it took me at least a decade and a major breakdown to admit that to myself. And I too was all smiles on the outside and my inside was nobody's business.

It's an illness, just as every other illness. It only has that unjustifyable stygma society put on it.

[Clueless Morgan]

If all you were seeking help for was how to stop biting your nails then I would go ahead and try some of the advice here (I had no idea nail biting was such a common habit!) but if you're looking at multiple addictions or compulsive behaviors then I would seek the advice of a medical professional.

We can give you all the anecdotal advice in the world but unless you address the underlying issues I don't know that much will get done and one behavior might be substituted for another.

https://www.seculartherapy.org/

Good luck.

[IATIA]

So what I need is general advice and research that works when applied. Real practicable evidence and advice.

I am a smoker and it is hard to quit. Real hard. Of all the illegal drugs in this country, tobacco should be at the top of the list, but the tobacco companies are not going to have that. Simply, all the Feds have to do is make it illegal for anyone not over 18 today, right now, to ever purchase tobacco. That does not help the present smokers, but it will eliminate new ones.