Posts: 43162
Threads: 720
Joined: September 21, 2008
Reputation:
132
Worry and Control
May 4, 2015 at 7:08 am
Why worry about things you can't control? Fair enough.
Why worry about things you can? Fair enough.
What if you are uncertain whether you can or can't control it though? That's why I worry.
I may be trying and struggling to control something I can't but I wrongly think I can and waste time and effort and make things worse instead of better.
Or I may miss an opportunity because I think I can't control something, or something is not worth controlling, when I either can control it or it is not only controllable definitely worth controlling.
See, that's why I worry. Not because of lack of control, not because of control... but because of uncertainty of control and uncertainty of worthwhileness of control.
That's why I worry.
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation:
72
RE: Worry and Control
May 4, 2015 at 8:31 am
You'll never be fully in control. Control is an illusion. Just accept it and roll with it, because there's literally nothing you can do about it
The one choice you do have is whether you'll spend your life worried sick or actually living it
Posts: 29107
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation:
154
RE: Worry and Control
May 4, 2015 at 11:04 pm
(This post was last modified: May 4, 2015 at 11:04 pm by robvalue.)
Maybe discuss with someone the kind of things you are uncertain if you can/should control?
Can you give us some examples?
Posts: 15351
Threads: 118
Joined: January 13, 2014
Reputation:
116
RE: Worry and Control
May 4, 2015 at 11:20 pm
Vic has the right of it.
You cannot control everything, and that is scary. Knowing what things to let go of is not easy either.
The fear of the unknown clouds everything you haven't tried. So try.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Posts: 4664
Threads: 100
Joined: November 22, 2013
Reputation:
39
Worry and Control
May 5, 2015 at 7:21 am
(May 4, 2015 at 7:08 am)EvidenceVersusFaith Wrote: Why worry about things you can't control? Fair enough.
Why worry about things you can? Fair enough.
What if you are uncertain whether you can or can't control it though? That's why I worry.
I may be trying and struggling to control something I can't but I wrongly think I can and waste time and effort and make things worse instead of better.
Or I may miss an opportunity because I think I can't control something, or something is not worth controlling, when I either can control it or it is not only controllable definitely worth controlling.
See, that's why I worry. Not because of lack of control, not because of control... but because of uncertainty of control and uncertainty of worthwhileness of control.
That's why I worry.
Remember this. The only thing you can control are your choices. Everything else is out of your control.
With that said, if you take every situation imaginable and worried about it, you would never have a more desirable outcome compared to if you didn't worry about it.
No situation is improved by the act of worrying. None. Worry is anxiety and anxiety is irrational.
Posts: 599
Threads: 21
Joined: October 10, 2014
Reputation:
25
RE: Worry and Control
May 5, 2015 at 7:28 am
I get what you are saying the question of control is a hard one to answer.
Yes anxiety is irrational as long as you are on the outside looking in. However, when you are the one with anxiety you are not in a rational state of mind so it can turn into a downward spiral.
I like to meditate and examine my feelings both good and bad before it can turn into anxiety
Posts: 29107
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation:
154
RE: Worry and Control
May 5, 2015 at 7:33 am
I find writing things out can definitely help. For example, I could write out the facts about the situation, my possible courses of action, and then the pros and cons for each course of action. I tend to find it easier to think about it objectively that way, rather than it all bouncing around my head in a tangled mess.
Posts: 3541
Threads: 0
Joined: January 20, 2015
Reputation:
35
RE: Worry and Control
May 5, 2015 at 8:05 am
(May 4, 2015 at 7:08 am)EvidenceVersusFaith Wrote:
See, that's why I worry. Not because of lack of control, not because of control... but because of uncertainty of control and uncertainty of worthwhileness of control.
That's why I worry.
Let me try and put your mind at rest.
I don't mean to come across cynical, but the longer you live, the more you realize, that you in fact control f*** all. At most, you may have some choices - if you're lucky, but they're also largely inconsequential.
So I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Just buckle up and enjoy the ride.
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw
Posts: 18510
Threads: 129
Joined: January 19, 2014
Reputation:
90
RE: Worry and Control
May 5, 2015 at 8:08 am
Off topic: Thread title would make an awesome philosophical book title. Up there with Being and Nothingness or Being and Time, or War and Peace, Crime and Punishment.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation:
72
RE: Worry and Control
May 5, 2015 at 8:33 am
(May 5, 2015 at 8:08 am)Alex K Wrote: Off topic: Thread title would make an awesome philosophical book title. Up there with Being and Nothingness or Being and Time, or War and Peace, Crime and Punishment.
Apples and Oranges, Dust to Dust... wait, no
|
