Your love song/theme

[dahrling]

Just One More Minute - Weird Al Yankovic

I've heard of Weird Al before. Now I know why 

I'm always seeking advice   
I think that the idea of a friendship blossoming into romance is very beautiful   
The problem is that many times one of the two people in said friendship will develop these feelings first and the other one will take more time or not develop romantic feelings for their friend at all and their friendship can be ruined. 
I prefer to put friendships before romance   

But I don't really believe one can choose who to fall in love with. I still think that depends on many outside factors beyond our control.  

In my case, my wife and I were friends for about a year before we decided to add romance to the relationship.  We were best friends at the time.  About a year later, we were married, and have been happy together ever since.

If one of us had not been ready for romance, we simply would have stayed friends.  I personally think people worry too much about damaging their friendships with romance.  Unless one is a jerk to one's romantic partner (which is really a contradiction in terms, as being a jerk isn't romantic), I don't see why it should ruin anything.

Can I ask, how did it come up? How does one decide to transform their platonic relationship into a romantic one? 

I think that many people suffer when they love their friend but that love is unrequited. You still have to see them often and pretend like you don't have these feelings for them, even though you do.
And I think it gets a lot worse once your friend finds a partner. Then you might open yourself to them and they might begin to feel awkward around you. 
Not to mention the pain of the rejection itself

[Bad Wolf]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C6MNvjrScyo

[Pyrrho]

...

In my case, my wife and I were friends for about a year before we decided to add romance to the relationship.  We were best friends at the time.  About a year later, we were married, and have been happy together ever since.

If one of us had not been ready for romance, we simply would have stayed friends.  I personally think people worry too much about damaging their friendships with romance.  Unless one is a jerk to one's romantic partner (which is really a contradiction in terms, as being a jerk isn't romantic), I don't see why it should ruin anything.

But how did it come up? How does one decide to transform their platonic relationship into a romantic one? 

I think that many people suffer when they love their friend but that love is unrequited. You still have to see them often and pretend like you don't have these feelings even though you do. And it gets a lot worse once your friend finds a partner. And then you might tell them and they might feel awkward around you. 

How it came up was that one of us suggested the idea of adding romance to our relationship, and the other agreed that it was a good idea.  I am not sure after all these years who suggested the idea first.  The idea was originally put forth in a very tentative way.  But if the other person had indicated that he or she was not receptive, then things would have just gone on as they had before.  We would have continued with a platonic relationship.

As for how one decides to make such a change, in my case, I thought about what my friend was like, and also what I wanted in a romantic partner.  Those things matched up very well, and so I thought it was a good idea.  That is only part of it.  I also felt like it was a good idea.  I cannot give you a good explanation for that, but thinking about her helped with that.

Remember, we had known each other for a full year.  We also spent a good amount of time in each other's company during that time, both around others, and alone together.  We knew each other very well before we added romance to our relationship.


As for your idea of telling someone after they have a different romantic partner, that is not the best time to tell the person.  The best time is when the person does not have a romantic partner.  If they reject you and then later on have a romantic partner, they already know how you feel (or at least how you felt), so there is likely no need to tell them again at that point.

[dahrling]

...



But how did it come up? How does one decide to transform their platonic relationship into a romantic one? 

I think that many people suffer when they love their friend but that love is unrequited. You still have to see them often and pretend like you don't have these feelings even though you do. And it gets a lot worse once your friend finds a partner. And then you might tell them and they might feel awkward around you. 

How it came up was that one of us suggested the idea of adding romance to our relationship, and the other agreed that it was a good idea.  I am not sure after all these years who suggested the idea first.  The idea was originally put forth in a very tentative way.  But if the other person had indicated that he or she was not receptive, then things would have just gone on as they had before.  We would have continued with a platonic relationship.

As for how one decides to make such a change, in my case, I thought about what my friend was like, and also what I wanted in a romantic partner.  Those things matched up very well, and so I thought it was a good idea.  That is only part of it.  I also felt like it was a good idea.  I cannot give you a good explanation for that, but thinking about her helped with that.

Remember, we had known each other for a full year.  We also spent a good amount of time in each other's company during that time, both around others, and alone together.  We knew each other very well before we added romance to our relationship.


As for your idea of telling someone after they have a different romantic partner, that is not the best time to tell the person.  The best time is when the person does not have a romantic partner.  If they reject you and then later on have a romantic partner, they already know how you feel (or at least how you felt), so there is likely no need to tell them again at that point.

I think it's wonderful your wife is also your best friend 

I'm not sure if this happens with frequency, but it seems to me like if it did we wouldn't consider divorce to be as common as we do now 

@BadWolf: I find that song to be surprisingly romantic

[Pyrrho]

How it came up was that one of us suggested the idea of adding romance to our relationship, and the other agreed that it was a good idea.  I am not sure after all these years who suggested the idea first.  The idea was originally put forth in a very tentative way.  But if the other person had indicated that he or she was not receptive, then things would have just gone on as they had before.  We would have continued with a platonic relationship.

As for how one decides to make such a change, in my case, I thought about what my friend was like, and also what I wanted in a romantic partner.  Those things matched up very well, and so I thought it was a good idea.  That is only part of it.  I also felt like it was a good idea.  I cannot give you a good explanation for that, but thinking about her helped with that.

Remember, we had known each other for a full year.  We also spent a good amount of time in each other's company during that time, both around others, and alone together.  We knew each other very well before we added romance to our relationship.


As for your idea of telling someone after they have a different romantic partner, that is not the best time to tell the person.  The best time is when the person does not have a romantic partner.  If they reject you and then later on have a romantic partner, they already know how you feel (or at least how you felt), so there is likely no need to tell them again at that point.

I think it's wonderful your wife is also your best friend 

I'm not sure if this happens with frequency, but it seems to me like if it did we wouldn't consider divorce to be as common as we do now 
...

I think it is wonderful that my wife is my best friend, too.  I highly recommend this approach to spouse selection, if, that is, one wishes to marry.

I think many people marry too quickly, without spending enough time getting to know each other adequately.  There are many things that can make people incompatible, without anyone being bad or "at fault."  For example, if one person wants, more than anything else, to live in Manhattan, and the other person wants, more than anything else, to live in the Rocky Mountains in a cabin in the woods, those two people are not compatible, and should not marry.  But neither is a bad person for it.  People need to be compatible on everything that is important to either person, or there will be trouble.

When considering things like marriage, one needs to remember the practical aspects of it, and not just the romance.  A marriage is a legal contract, with all sorts of details, which vary by country and, within the U.S., vary by state as well.  If one does not want the legal contract, one ought not get married at all.


As for divorce, there are many things that correlate with that.  Here is a link to some government statistics on this for the U.S.:

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_022.pdf

One of the many things is age.  In the statistics, they use the age of the woman at the time of her first marriage.  Basically, the older the woman, the less likely there will be a divorce.  The greatest effects of this seem to be taken care of by age 25, which makes sense, given recent research showing that brain development is not complete in humans until about that age.  If you marry too young, you are more likely to change your mind about how you want to live your life, and if you do, you may find yourself no longer compatible with your spouse.

There are other things that you can select, too, but some of the things that correlate with a higher divorce rate are out of your control.  But if you are careful and reasonable in your approach, you will minimize the risk of serious problems.

[Kitty Galore]

then






finally

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and lol

[John V]

My song for my wife is The Police, Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.  Only the chorus fits, as the verses are Sting's usual unrequited love lyrics, but she doesn't really pay attention to the verses so it works.

[DIRTY_DEEDS_93]

I find "A Little Piece of Heaven" by Avenged Sevenfold quite romantic. Then again, I'm 16 and I scare away girls almost daily.

Lyrics:

---

Before the story begins, is it such a sin,

For me to take what's mine, until the end of time
We were more than friends, before the story ends,
And I will take what's mine, create what
God would never design

Our love had been so strong for far too long,
I was weak with fear that
Something would go wrong,
Before the possibilities came true,
I took all possibility from you
Almost laughed myself to tears,
Conjuring her deepest fears
(come here you fucking bitch)

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times,
I can't believe it,
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes,
Eyes over easy, eat it eat it eat it

She was never this good in bed
Even when she was sleepin'
Now she's just so perfect I've
Never been quite so fucking deep in
It goes on and on and on,
I can keep you lookin' young and preserved forever,
With a fountain to spray on your youth whenever

'Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it's not your time
But bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it's over but it's just begun
But baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let's make a new start
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

Now possibilities I'd never considered,
Are occurring the likes of which I'd never heard,
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave,
To repossess a body with which I'd misbehaved

Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears

Must have stabbed him fifty fucking times
I can't believe it
Ripped his heart out right before his eyes
Eyes over easy
Eat it eat it eat it

Now that it's done I realize the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize from somewhere far beyond the grave

I gotta make up for what I've done
'Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
While you burned in hell, no peace forever

'Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it's not your time
But bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it's over but it's just begun
But baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let's make a new start
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I'll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I'll grant you one chance)
And if it's not enough
(If it's not enough, If it's not enough)
If it's not enough
(Not enough)
Try again
(Try again)
And again
(And again)
Over and over again

We're coming back, coming back
We'll live forever, live forever
Let's have wedding, have a wedding
Let's start the killing, start the killing

"Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life'"
"Yes, I do"
"Do you take this woman in death for the rest of your unnatural life'"
"I do"
"I now pronounce you"

'Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it's not your time
But bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it's over but it's just begun
But baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let's make a new start
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

---