Opinions on my drive to be an atheist

[Won2blv]

Hey all. Quick question, I can honestly say that one reason why I don't want to be a god fearing person anymore is that I just want to live life how I want to live it. I am married. I love my wife, but we were way young when we got married. If I was an absolute atheist, whatever that means, I would definitely come clean to her and probably get a divorce. Is this a bad driving force?

[AFTT47]

It's not unusual for young people to marry out of insecurity rather than love. Once they each grow, they find they are not ideally suited for each other. Divorce might be the best solution in that situation.

Nothing to do with atheism, though. Sounds like a loaded question.

[SteelCurtain]

Sounds like a loaded question.

That was my first notion.

You should be an atheist only if that reflects your view about reality. If you are asking if you should use the word "atheist" as a scapegoat for leaving your wife, that would be terrible. If you feel like you are stuck in your marriage, that's something you should work out separate from your views about the existence of a deity.

[Magilla]

Hey all. Quick question, I can honestly say that one reason why I don't want to be a god fearing person anymore is that I just want to live life how I want to live it. I am married. I love my wife, but we were way young when we got married. If I was an absolute atheist, whatever that means, I would definitely come clean to her and probably get a divorce. Is this a bad driving force?

But surely, the main reason anyone is an atheist is that they don't believe in any gods. As a fellow atheist, I would say that I don't strictly want to live life how I want to live it. In other words, I have a moral code, and so some things are 'verboten' and some 'obligatorisch', (forbidden versus obligatory). Theists often seem to say that people want to be atheists so that they can do whatever they want. The theists may make the dumb conclusion that without "God" we'd all go out do murder or theft etc. But we don't.

This philosophising can be tricky though, because those things verboten, and those things obligatorisch, are ones I have figured out for myself, as ought or ought not to be so. So those limits or requirements are what I have adopted in order to be able to consider myself a moral person. In the end, they are mine. So even a limited or prescriptive lifestyle, can be living life how I want to live it.

Coming clean with one's wife is what I would go for, as a positively moral thing to do. If one is married and living a life of deception with one's spouse,I would find that a wrong state of affairs. As for getting a divorce, that depends on the partners in the marriage. I can't speak for you, but it might be possible to remain happily married. Like I said, it depends - and all that's up to you two.

[Faith No More]

You should just be whatever a preponderance of the evidence leads you to be.

Trying to believe one thing or another to justify an agenda is pretty shallow, in my opinion.

[Whateverist]

Hey all. Quick question, I can honestly say that one reason why I don't want to be a god fearing person anymore is that I just want to live life how I want to live it. I am married. I love my wife, but we were way young when we got married. If I was an absolute atheist, whatever that means, I would definitely come clean to her and probably get a divorce. Is this a bad driving force?

If you're just a disloyal, morally rudderless individual you're going to do what folks like you do.  I guess smearing atheists in the process probably just feels like a bonus for you.

[robvalue]

What has being an atheist got to do with getting married young, or getting a divorce? Am I missing something?

I'm not sure what you mean by "absolute atheist". It sounds like a gnostic atheist, someone who claims to know there is no God. That's a minority even among atheists and I'm not sure why you'd be striving for that.

Being an atheist isn't a choice, it's a state of mind. If you no longer have an active belief that there is a god, you're an atheist. Whether you call yourself that, or admit it to yourself or others, is the choice.

It sounds like there are problems in your marriage, and I would suggest addressing them openly and honestly.

[Alex K]

No, it's not a good reason, and it doesn't make sense. Noone can choose to believe in the existence God or not because of some desired outcome. That makes no sense whatsoever.

Anyway, you do not feel that you are trapped in a loveless marriage, so why would you get a divorce? Do you just have psychopathic tendencies and need God to stop you? Or do you think you wife would leave you? I'm not quite getting your point.

[polar bear]

christians get divorced at an alarming rate.  Why don't you temporarily become a christian and then say that god has spoken to you.

This seems a better reason to me than I have no belief in god therefore we can't be married

[Won2blv]

What has being an atheist got to do with getting married young, or getting a divorce? Am I missing something?

I'm not sure what you mean by "absolute atheist". It sounds like a gnostic atheist, someone who claims to know there is no God. That's a minority even among atheists and I'm not sure why you'd be striving for that.

Being an atheist isn't a choice, it's a state of mind. If you no longer have an active belief that there is a god, you're an atheist. Whether you call yourself that, or admit it to yourself or others, is the choice.

It sounds like there are problems in your marriage, and I would suggest addressing them openly and honestly.

I don't know what an absolute atheist is either. But if there is a god and he happens to be the god of the bible then I believe that I am accountable to him. Me and my wife have been discussing our problems at length. But JW's can only get divorce if there is adultery. That is just not an option for me. I dearly love her, but I was too damn young when I got married. 

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Hey all. Quick question, I can honestly say that one reason why I don't want to be a god fearing person anymore is that I just want to live life how I want to live it. I am married. I love my wife, but we were way young when we got married. If I was an absolute atheist, whatever that means, I would definitely come clean to her and probably get a divorce. Is this a bad driving force?

But surely, the main reason anyone is an atheist is that they don't believe in any gods. As a fellow atheist, I would say that I don't strictly want to live life how I want to live it. In other words, I have a moral code, and so some things are 'verboten' and some 'obligatorisch', (forbidden versus obligatory). Theists often seem to say that people want to be atheists so that they can do whatever they want. The theists may make the dumb conclusion that without "God" we'd all go out do murder or theft etc. But we don't.

This philosophising can be tricky though, because those things verboten, and those things obligatorisch, are ones I have figured out for myself, as ought or ought not to be so. So those limits or requirements are what I have adopted in order to be able to consider myself a moral person. In the end, they are mine. So even a limited or prescriptive lifestyle, can be living life how I want to live it.

Coming clean with one's wife is what I would go for, as a positively moral thing to do. If one is married and living a life of deception with one's spouse,I would find that a wrong state of affairs. As for getting a divorce, that depends on the partners in the marriage. I can't speak for you, but it might be possible to remain happily married. Like I said, it depends - and all that's up to you two.

I guess to clarify, I just want to do more things in life that I haven't had a chance to engage in before. I am not thinking about being hedonistic. But I do want to smoke weed. I want to gamble occasionally. I want to volunteer for political stances that I hold. But I know that if I did come out as an atheist and did those things while married, would just crush my wife. That could be wrong. The problem for me right now is that I am figuring this stuff out on my own but on the outside to my wife we're trying to do the "spiritual" stuff to draw closer. I still don't absolutely know what I believe. But if by chance the god of the bible is the one true god then I owe to him to see this through. If he isn't then I want me and my wife to scrape together a life while we're still young