Opinions on my drive to be an atheist

[pocaracas]

Wasn't there some guy who had a problem with his wife, a few years ago?...

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[Tonus]

I want to know what smoking weed and gambling have to do with being an atheist specifically.

I think it has to do with the concept of absolute moral/ethical values, at least for humans (god-sanctioned actions can run afoul of those values and still be "good").  Human society does a reasonably good job of getting us to realize that certain actions are awful most of the time, and religion might tighten the screws on that by going further on many points.  So while people in general will consider rape and murder to be terrible, the religious person may consider getting drunk to be just as bad, at least in terms of the final outcome.  If your religion preaches that god will punish those who smoke weed with the same severity he will punish serial killers, then your attitude will adjust to match: smoking weed is treated with utmost negativity.

Remove that influence, and rape and murder are no less horrifying to the average person, but smoking weed may require a good deal more study before we label it a hanging offense.

[Thumpalumpacus]

The idea of having a difficult time deciding to believe in invisible, undetectable woo for the sake of the benefits seems whack to me.  

There you have it. I don't understand "deciding" to be atheist. I don't have faith, and I see no evidence; so for me, it is not a decision to make anymore than I decide to accept gravity as a fact.

[Jericho]

Deciding to be an atheist just to attempt to justify divorce is the same to me as deciding to be a teacher just so you can go to the moon.

It literally makes no sense to me.

[cocunningham]

Thanks :-D .  We had fallen in a rut doing the same thing every day even going to the same place every year for vacation.  We stopped really talking to each other in more than in polite uninteresting "how was your day".  So adding some spontaneity and going to new places, experiencing new cultures, and trying new foods has done us a lot of good.  We drew Scotland this year but my wife is pregnant with our second child so we're hesitant to do any international travel.  We'll just have to put it back and draw again until we pull something domestic.

I appreciate your sensible practical suggestions. The problem with my situation is loaded. Me and my wife travel maybe 2-3 months out of the year. We laugh constantly and we see eye to eye in most situations. I really do think that my issue is 2 part, I don't want to be a JW anymore. Not out of spite but out of connivence to the fact that I don't think I even believe in it. But it would crush my wife if she knew that. And the 2nd part is that she is an attractive person but I am not sexually attracted to her anymore. There is a lot more shit involved than just those 2 things but its hard to feel like we can get back to when we were in love. I have struggled for years now and the one thing that kept me in it, was that I would have to cheat on her to get a divorce and I would never do that. So it is a refreshing thought that if there is no god then I don't have to pay heed to that

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The opinion expressed in the OP comes across as extremely juvenille. I am having a very difficult time believing the poster is married with children with such superficial outlook on the matter.

I know that atheist don't have a clergy or hierarchy but rather respected individuals that speak out as atheists, correct? Matt D from atheist experience is one of these men to many atheists. I saw a lecture once where he said (paraphrased) "people say that you want to be an atheist just so that you can do immoral things, so what, whats wrong with that?"

Ok so most relationships start with a physical attraction or need for companionship, but the successful long term relationships become deeper. It sounds like you have that in your marriage but because your interests in her physically have waned you want a divorce. I find this very immature and selfish.

As you presented it you appear to want to become atheist to escape the cumbersome culture of your community and because you think as an atheist you can escape your conscience. This is both flawed and cowardly. As an atheist you are not devoid of a conscience. Yes my values have changed but I still attempt to help others and feel guilty when I behave in a selfish manner.

Finally it appears your now asking the community on this site for approval. So you have it from me. You have indicated no intentions of trying to work through this rough spot in your marriage because it keeps you from smoking weed and doing what you want to do. So go with my blessing to a divorce lawyer as it appears she would be better off. One thing to remember if your in the US she has to sign the divorce papers in order for you to get divorced. And based on what you said you becoming atheist is not grounds for her to divorce. So I guess you guys will just have to be seperated but still can't escape the Judaism traditions.

[Won2blv]

I know that atheist don't have a clergy or hierarchy but rather respected individuals that speak out as atheists, correct? Matt D from atheist experience is one of these men to many atheists. I saw a lecture once where he said (paraphrased) "people say that you want to be an atheist just so that you can do immoral things, so what, whats wrong with that?"

The idea of having a difficult time deciding to believe in invisible, undetectable woo for the sake of the benefits seems whack to me.  

If you really think there are immoral things you can do which would bring down upon you the wrath of a limitlessly vengeful god .. well you just aren't an atheist.  Calling yourself one probably isn't going to free you up if you really believe in eternal revenge.  

I guess I can see how from that twisted view point we might seem to have it good.

I guess what you're really saying is you would welcome a cure for your belief.  At least you know you are not well.  Let the healing begin!  *begins speaking in tongues and bouncing serpents*

What I believe is that if god is loving and caring for his creation then his commandments are for their ultimate good. Without having to get into a discussion of whether or not that god is good or not is pointless. I have a brother that left JW's about 8 years ago, not actively against witnesses but just giving up on practicing it. He got a girl pregnant and then married her. She ended up being a drug addict and they were divorced 6 months after they were married and he had a infant to take care of by himself. We helped him constantly with our nephew but about 3 years ago he cut us all off after telling us how we are in a brainwashing cult and that he was now an atheist. He started using drugs himself and eventually about a year ago gave up his son to a random family and then I took him temporarily before finding him a permanent home. There are other heartbreaking details that go along with that story but I bet you're wondering what the fuck my point is anyway. I cry almost every day about this situation but I truly and strongly believe that he would be in a better and happier position today if he stuck to his "indoctrination." Not saying that simply being a JW is a protection, but its following the principles that are preached. So my point is, I worry that god has given me the warning. he won't personally give me the pain but rather it'll be the bad consequences I'll inflict on myself. 

[The Grand Nudger]

Protection? Against what...........the curse of atheism - I'm sorry but it doesn't seem like his indoctrination did any good..eh?  Your story is highly suspect, but who cares.  Bad things happen.  Post hoc ergo propter hoc?

If we were going that route, the JW indoctrination happened even earlier, so perhaps his atheism, poor taste in women, failed marriage, and drug addictions are all due to the Kingdom Hall? No..no, wait, your mother squeezed him out even before he was indoctrinated...so it's probably her fault. No, shit....can't believe this didn't pop right out, it was your Granny....no one expects the Granny.......... -ad infinitum

What's gonna happen if you don't heed this gods warning btw, Bad Things™? I'm pretty sure bad things will happen regardless.......

[Cato]

I know that atheist don't have a clergy or hierarchy but rather respected individuals that speak out as atheists, correct? Matt D from atheist experience is one of these men to many atheists. I saw a lecture once where he said (paraphrased) "people say that you want to be an atheist just so that you can do immoral things, so what, whats wrong with that?"

Okay, this is enough to conclude you are a troll or completely fucking oblivious. You are either intentionally quote mining Dillahunty to be tediously annoying or you are so obtuse as to think your paraphrase was a declaration by Dillahunty instead of him in turn paraphrasing the common ridiculous believer argument that atheists just don't want to be morally accountable.

[Won2blv]

Protection? Against what...........the curse of atheism - I'm sorry but it doesn't seem like his indoctrination did any good..eh?  Your story is highly suspect, but who cares.  Bad things happen.  Post hoc ergo propter hoc?

If we were going that route, the JW indoctrination happened even earlier, so perhaps his atheism, poor taste in women, failed marriage, and drug addictions are all due to the Kingdom Hall?  No..no, wait, your mother squeezed him out even before he was indoctrinated...so it's probably her fault.  No, shit....can't believe this didn't pop right out, it was your Granny....no one expects the Granny.......... -ad infinitum

What's gonna happen if you don't heed this gods warning btw, Bad Things™?  I'm pretty sure bad things will happen regardless.......

Listen, you can be an asshole all you'd like. I don't believe that BEING an atheist is the cause of his problems. I believe his idiotic choices were the cause of his problems. If some old timer at Coca-cola back in the 90's  told the board that the he believes the New Coke idea is a bad one it wouldn't be his fault that that they rolled out shitty New Coke. It would be the board member who didn't listen to him! My brothers issues are twofold, bad choices and not learning from his bad choices. I am not invoking god in either of those. But I know that if out of fear of this so called petty, malevolent god he continued to follow the principles of a JW, he would not be in the position he is in today. You're the one who introduce the ad infinitum not me. 

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I know that atheist don't have a clergy or hierarchy but rather respected individuals that speak out as atheists, correct? Matt D from atheist experience is one of these men to many atheists. I saw a lecture once where he said (paraphrased) "people say that you want to be an atheist just so that you can do immoral things, so what, whats wrong with that?"

Okay, this is enough to conclude you are a troll or completely fucking oblivious. You are either intentionally quote mining Dillahunty to be tediously annoying or you are so obtuse as to think your paraphrase was a declaration by Dillahunty instead of him in turn paraphrasing the common ridiculous believer argument that atheists just don't want to be morally accountable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qo9Grli-k88

Around 4:20 of his lecture he says somewhere along the lines of, "some people say that you want to be an atheist just so you can sin... screw that, its ok if you don't want to believe just to sin"

Not saying he speaks for atheists. But I can honestly say that the biggest reason I want to de-convert, is that I want to I do want to "sin." Sin according to what? According to god. If I was already an atheist my whole life then as a human I should do everything in my power to still hold up my vows I made to my wife but if its not going to work then its not going to work. But getting a divorce in that situation would have one less layer of complication. 

[KevinM1]

Honestly? I think your problem isn't with god, but with the rest of the JW community. You're afraid of how you'll be perceived and treated by them if you do decide to get divorced.

Peer pressure is a horrible reason to make a decision. Weigh the choices honestly, then choose. And if the people around you can't accept what you choose, even after you lay it all out for them, then they weren't really in your corner to begin with.