Sexual openness and promiscuity

[Jenny A]

Such is the dichotomy of the inside vs outside view. Not to derail this thread, but just to draw some parallels; this is why I find it so hard to judge anybody in any area of life. Usually the one passing judgment is on the outside, which is a funny place to pass judgment since you know less on the outside, while those in the know are more qualified yet less likely to do so.

"Consensual forcing" on the outside seems too transparent a facade (an oxymoron, as you put it), but while in that role, you can be very convincing to yourself. I notice this phenomenon on a more consistent basis with movie previews. Something will stick out in that preview like a sore thumb (shoddy CGI, corny one-liner, etc.), but while embroiled in the plot of the movie, those same poorly executed scenes will go unnoticed. Suspension of disbelief.

Jenny, what I mean to say is with the idea of what it is to be a whore, wouldn't the kink go away if it was no longer stigmatized? Isn't the taboo of it what makes it a turn on?

I'm sorry if you addressed that and I missed it.

Hmm.   You've asked a whole bunch of questions.  I should begin by saying that kink is a very broad umbrella.  I told you a little about BDSM, some of which may be shame based and much of which is not.  Other kinds of kink such as foot or shoe fetishes seem harder to link to shame.  Others like diaper fetishes, and small penis humiliation just seem odd to me. Misdirected sexual desire may be closer to the mark.  My interest in pain may be a little like that.  All I know is that I don't feel any shame about sex really, not even the odder things I like.

Consensual forcing is indeed a role.  It's in part acting.  But it's very real acting.  The punches are pulled, but not the way stage punches are pulled, i.e. they still hurt, but they aren't going to break anyone's jaw.  But yes, my control over a man who could physically take me apart if he tried is very much suspension of disbelief.

In answer to the taboo question, it really depends on the kink.  I don't think my interest in pain or control would go away if it weren't stigmatized.  I don't want to paddle guys because it's taboo, I want to because I like to.  I don't get a breaking taboo thrill, just a thrill.  Really.  But some kinds of kink obviously are taboo based.

Whore is just a negative description of a woman who sells sex.  I don't think it has much to do with kink.

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Side note: you sound like my kind of lady, Jenny. I'm into pain too, but I've never been able to bring myself to be the giver. Conflicts with my people pleaser disposition.

Ah, but pain can be pleasing, as you must know or you wouldn't be into it.  -----  I do get the reluctance to hand it out though.  It's a risk isn't it?

[Losty]

Side note: you sound like my kind of lady, Jenny. I'm into pain too, but I've never been able to bring myself to be the giver. Conflicts with my people pleaser disposition.

I'm with you. I can't even be the dominant in roleplaying via text lol. I don't like the thought of hurting someone but pain is a fun game and it goes very well with sex. 

[Jenny A]

Side note: you sound like my kind of lady, Jenny. I'm into pain too, but I've never been able to bring myself to be the giver. Conflicts with my people pleaser disposition.

I'm with you. I can't even be the dominant in roleplaying via text lol. I don't like the thought of hurting someone but pain is a fun game and it goes very well with sex. 

But pain pleases me. Or at least certain kinds of pain do.  So what you are really doing is selfishly denying me pleasure.  

[Exian]

Side note: you sound like my kind of lady, Jenny. I'm into pain too, but I've never been able to bring myself to be the giver. Conflicts with my people pleaser disposition.

I'm with you. I can't even be the dominant in roleplaying via text lol. I don't like the thought of hurting someone but pain is a fun game and it goes very well with sex. 

Damn Ohioans. More proof that we're the Canada of America. *spank* "Sorry, you ok?"

[Losty]

"just seem odd to me. Misdirected sexual desire may be closer to the mark." JennyA

That's the fun thing, you don't have to understand something to accept that someone else just happens to be into it. That doesn't make it misdirected sexual desire just because you don't desire it.

[Exian]

I see what you're saying, Jenny. I was just addressing the specific kink of wanting to be a treated like a whore, which seems to need the taboo. But you're right, kink is a broad umbrella. My enjoyment of pain has nothing to do with shame.

[Jenny A]

"just seem odd to me. Misdirected sexual desire may be closer to the mark." JennyA

That's the fun thing, you don't have to understand something to accept that someone else just happens to be into it. That doesn't make it misdirected sexual desire just because you don't desire it.

By misdirected, I don't mean wrong just not attached to reproduction.  My interest in pain fits that catagory.

[Losty]

"just seem odd to me. Misdirected sexual desire may be closer to the mark." JennyA

That's the fun thing, you don't have to understand something to accept that someone else just happens to be into it. That doesn't make it misdirected sexual desire just because you don't desire it.

By misdirected, I don't mean wrong just not attached to reproduction.  My interest in pain fits that catagory.

Ahhh ok makes more sense. 


By the way I think all of my sexual desires are misdirected. Reproduction is a total turn off

[Exian]

Especially with kids running around reminding you. Haha

[Losty]

Children are the greatest form of birth control, I think