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Am I over the hill at 26?
#1
Am I over the hill at 26?
I've never had a romantic relationship before, aged 26. Now I'm worried no one will be interested in me because of my lack of experience both sexually and romantically. I'm also gay so the pool I'm fishing in is smaller than most people's. The one thing in my favour is that I do look much younger than I am, in fact sometimes I'm still asked for ID, but a lot of people judge you by the number, not appearance, I guess because of fear you might wake up one day and look your age. I would also prefer someone younger or who looks younger (19 at the youngest), that's just the way I'm wired, and I'm not sure they'll be interested in me because I'll have less experience than most of them and I still live with my mum, don't drive and haven't got any savings or anything yet because of various unavoidable expenses - in other words I have none of the perks that usually come with dating someone older. 

Until now I'd been on dates now and then but always backed out of taking it any further. My mental health and academic/employment troubles have taken priority and I was only ever mildly curious about what a relationship would be like, I just occasionally thought I "ought" to date because it was something you're supposed to want to do as a human. I never felt like I was missing out on anything because the relationships around me looked a lot more hassle than they were worth and I know would want more space and time alone than most people seem to want. Now my career is settled and happy, and my mental health is pretty good most of the time, but with continued wobbles, medication and therapy that might put some people off. I've suddenly found my sex drive waking up a bit, now that my medication regime is stable and I'm not constantly anxious or depressed, and I'm sad about having wasted what should be the most fun and free years of my life, and impatient to stop wasting them as soon as possible.

I'm on OKCupid but it's very slow going. How long is it normal to be single and looking before you find someone when you're putting yourself out there at all the appropriate bars and dating sites? It's not been VERY long - three or four weeks - but I guess I'm impatient and so far everyone I like and who likes me is only casually meeting people for friendship and maybe more, or is only looking for polyamorous relationships, which I'd consider but I'd prefer to keep it simple for now. I have mild Aspergers Syndrome and keeping track of one, conventional romantic relationship will be novel and daunting enough.

Just wanted to get this out in words and vent really, but if anyone has any advice, experience or words of encouragement to share that would be very appreciated.  Smile
"Faith is a state of openness or trust. To have faith is like when you trust yourself to the water. You don't grab hold of the water when you swim, because if you do you will become stiff and tight in the water, and sink. You have to relax, and the attitude of faith is the very opposite of clinging, and holding on. In other words, a person who is fanatic in matters of religion, and clings to certain ideas about the nature of God and the universe becomes a person who has no faith at all. Instead they are holding tight. But the attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be."

Alan Watts
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#2
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
Yes, you're over the hill.  The rest of your life is going to be one long slog of sadness, loneliness and pure, unending misery.

Come on...twenty SIX??

Boru
‘Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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#3
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
Don't worry, bud. Everything will come in the right time. You've got your whole life ahead of you. It'll be worth the wait when you find it

In the meantime, don't stress, enjoy life and be yourself. Happiness is attractive.
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#4
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
To be 26 again.... sigh

No, seriously, you're fine. Afaik, being inexperienced in those things is not a hindrance. The worst you might get is a few moments of awkwardness, but with a sense of humor that shouldn't be a catastrophe.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#5
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
lol, no.
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#6
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
Sex? if it wasn't for getting screwed by the banks, I'd be getting none!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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#7
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
(June 18, 2015 at 5:41 am)Pandæmonium Wrote: lol, no.

/thread IMO?
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#8
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
(June 18, 2015 at 4:54 am)Alex K Wrote: To be 26 again.... sigh

No, seriously, you're fine. Afaik, being inexperienced in those things is not a hindrance. The worst you might get is a few moments of awkwardness, but with a sense of humor that shouldn't be a catastrophe.

Shit, I must get me eyes tested.  I thought you wrote: "The worst you might get is a few moments of awkwardness, but with a sense of humor that could become a catastrophe.
If you are not nice to me, I WILL mention you in my suicide note.
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#9
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
(June 18, 2015 at 6:32 am)25point81 Wrote:
(June 18, 2015 at 4:54 am)Alex K Wrote: To be 26 again.... sigh

No, seriously, you're fine. Afaik, being inexperienced in those things is not a hindrance. The worst you might get is a few moments of awkwardness, but with a sense of humor that shouldn't be a catastrophe.

Shit, I must get me eyes tested.  I thought you wrote: "The worst you might get is a few moments of awkwardness, but with a sense of humor that could become a catastrophe.

Well, it really depends on your partner. If you're dating a Klingon, humor may not be the best approach.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#10
RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
And if you know what a Klingon is then stop watching tv and get out there and start dating!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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