fundamentalist idea of hell

[Crossless2.0]

I suspect most fundamentalists' idea of hell would closely resemble my idea of a great weekend.

[drfuzzy]

Ok, my fellow atheists have great responses (thanks guys) but I need a response from some of the theists. Even Randy. Or GC.  Hell is gonna be one CROWDED place!

[Minimalist]

Nothing gives a xtian a hard-on faster than imaging all the people he hates being tormented eternally.

Hell = viagra for morons.

[Divinity]

Fairly sane point of view, but you know you are going to hell for it.

Sure, according to the same people who believe a talking snake convinced a woman to eat a piece of fruit, and then had three sons who somehow had children enough to propagate the human race.  (Were they mother fuckers or something?) Then... a couple of generations later, god flooded the world and they put two of each animal on a boat (which people are rebuilding today with modern tools and still can't succeed, so I don't see how the fuck Noah could) and none of those animals ate each other, and the termites didn't eat the wood, and then everyone had sex with their cousins to propagate the human race again. Also the sun was created after plants.  Because that makes sense.

Of course those people would think I'm going to hell.  They're conditioned to think that so they can be convinced to convert damn near everybody.  

Their idea of god is essentially summed up as such:

God: I'm an omniscient being who is everywhere, and I care what clothes you wear, who you fuck, what you eat, and I need 10% of your money (Why?  Fuck if I know.  Maybe god had a gambling problem back in the day.  Maybe he owes the devil a shit ton of money or something.  He got addicted after taking the spread in favor of Job and winning)

[Crossless2.0]

Nothing gives a xtian a hard-on faster than imaging all the people he hates being tormented eternally.

Hell = viagra for morons.

I call it the Tertullian Syndrome a.k.a. anticipatory Schadenfreude on steroids.

[dyresand]

Fairly sane point of view, but you know you are going to hell for it.

Sure, according to the same people who believe a talking snake convinced a woman to eat a piece of fruit, and then had three sons who somehow had children enough to propagate the human race.  (Were they mother fuckers or something?) Then... a couple of generations later, god flooded the world and they put two of each animal on a boat (which people are rebuilding today with modern tools and still can't succeed, so I don't see how the fuck Noah could) and none of those animals ate each other, and the termites didn't eat the wood, and then everyone had sex with their cousins to propagate the human race again. Also the sun was created after plants.  Because that makes sense.

Of course those people would think I'm going to hell.  They're conditioned to think that so they can be convinced to convert damn near everybody.  

Their idea of god is essentially summed up as such:

God: I'm an omniscient being who is everywhere, and I care what clothes you wear, who you fuck, what you eat, and I need 10% of your money (Why?  Fuck if I know.  Maybe god had a gambling problem back in the day.  Maybe he owes the devil a shit ton of money or something.  He got addicted after taking the spread in favor of Job and winning)

^but god could technically remove his debt considering he magics everything he could magic his debt away fuck if i know.

[abaris]

Were they mother fuckers or something?

Remember - it weren't the most educated people inventing the tale. Also, being a motherfucker wouldn't be the worst part of the OT.

[Wyrd of Gawd]

Countless ancient religions had the ideas of heavens and hells before the Christians came along and adopted them. The worse hell of all is the Islamic hell. If you end up in the Christian hell you're supposed to make bail on Judgment Day and you could still get into the golden cube if you're a member of one of the twelve tribes of Israel. If you've been a good Gentile you won't get into the golden cube since there's no gate for you to enter it. Besides the place is called New Jerusalem so it's the ultimated gated community. You'll be stuck outside of the wall on a waterless planet that has no night. The bad people get tossed into the lake of fire for their second death. It's all biblical.

[abaris]

Countless ancient religions had the ideas of heavens and hells before the Christians came along and adopted them.

You know where the English as well as the German word for hell is coming from? From the goddess Hel and her domain.

[drfuzzy]

We hear "you're going to hell" so often. I read a friend's post just this morning when he "lovingly" restated that every person who does not accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior will go to hell for eternity.

So what do modern Xtians think? There are well over 7 billion humans on the planet at this moment. Polls taken in 2013 puts Christians at approximately 31% (and dropping) of the world population.  That leaves 2,333,333,333,33 who will go to hell. This includes the few who have never heard of Jesus of Nazareth.  Speaking of Yeshua, there were humans on this planet for billions of years before he came along.  

(If you get picky, I know a lot of Protestants who think that Catholics will go to hell too.  That would increase the number considerably.)
I remember asking my Mom about the Chinese people and Japanese and Native American and African who lived before Jesus - what about them?  Her irritated answer was that God would know which of them WOULD believe if they had the chance.  But then, this is also the woman who declared emphatically that if aliens ever showed up, they would have to worship Jesus too or burn in hell.  So . . . 

What about the billions of OTHER people who weren't BLESSED enough to be born to Xtian parents?

Oh silly me . . . I must have been really tired when I posted this.  2.3 billion is only ONE THIRD of 7 billion! That's only the Xtians.  The correct number should be 4.6 billion. The number of people on earth right now who, according to Xtians, are going to fry for eternity because they were born Hindu or Buddhist or Muslim or . . .