Feeling pretty gutted

[MTL]

Just had a huge argument with my sister.

I won't go into the details.

I'm just completely gutted, I am despondent, and I was willing to dialogue,
I was prepared to be diplomatic, let stuff go, meet in the middle,

instead she just shut me down completely;

She knows she's been a total shit to me, and she doesn't want to be confronted with it.

but she's trying to make it out that I don't deserve to be listened-to
because she maintains that everything that I say is just twisted bullshit;
she assumes and asserts that nothing I could ever say
could ever have any validity at all....

that she is always going to be right,
and I am always going to be wrong. 

Verdict without a case even being presented.

What hurts is how hard I've tried to earn respect, through actions and not words,
and she tells me I don't deserve even a minimal level of consideration.


I'm really really shattered.  I'm crushed.

She knows she is being unjust; she knows it.

She knows it is killing me.

She doesn't care.


It kills me that my sister wants to convince me that I am so worthless.

I am just so appalled at her total lack of conscience and integrity.

I couldn't sleep at night if I'd treated anyone the way she has treated me.

Aside from her insecurity,
I really have no idea what I did to make her hate me so much.

Look, I'm an adult, I don't expect life to be fair,
and I don't really want to end my life
over what is really just a stupid fight with a dumb bitch whose opinion ultimately counts for nothing

but it's just a case of how much it hurts to be excised, unjustly, from your own family
after you've sacrificed so much for them,

and being told again and again that it's your fault
and you don't deserve respect.

I'm sorry to air this dirty laundry, and I know it's not really appropriate

I'm just genuinely, totally shattered.

[The Valkyrie]

Sorry you're going through that with family.

All I can really suggest is that if she doesn't want to meet you halfway and insists on continuing to act this way, then she's not worth your time.

I know it's harsh, but it may be time to sever that link, especially if her constant demeaning of you is having a long term negative effect.

[brewer]

Sorry to hear that. Time will heal.

Just because their family does not mean that you have to like each other. There are people in my family that I don't talk to at all for the very same reasons.

If I want to continue to try to have a relationship I'll occasionally extend the olive branch to test the waters. Some times I get burned, sometimes not. Some have gotten past the point of even making an attempt. Life is to short to put up with the drama.

Wish I had something more positive to say. I've got a feeling that you'll figure out whats best for you.

[downbeatplumb]

I hope things seem better after a good nights sleep. they normally do for me.

[Minimalist]

People cannot walk all over you unless you let them.

Shut her out.  You won't even have to tell her why.

[MTL]

Thank you, everyone, for your responses.

It is more complicated than simply cutting her out of my life,
because frankly I would have done so, years ago, if I had been in a position to do so.

But my situation is such that my decision will impact innocent parties,
as well as my own prospects.

For now, I am effectively trapped,
and must live with the uncertainty of the influence she might potentially exert over my situation.

I COULD free myself....sure I could.

If you're willing to make a big enough sacrifice, you can free yourself from almost any situation.

As I say, the sacrifice just has to be big enough.

If you're the guy pinned under the boulder by your right arm,
you can escape...if you're willing to cut that arm off.

I've weighed the situation, all the pros and cons, again and again,
and just keep coming up with the same conclusion:

The path of least evil
is, unfortunately,
just to stay put, for now.

For now, it is still worth remaining under the boulder;
there's a chance I may get free with my arm intact if I just play my cards right.

But it's extremely painful....that's all.

It's just very very very sad and manifestly unjust.

[ignoramus]

M, time to become emotionally detached from her. Do your normal stuff with family, just don't let the sounds coming out of her mouth affect you. With others around it can only make her look condescending and unreasonable. I was like that with my father towards the end of his years. Sadly, he hated me more for not biting back! Go figure.

[TheRocketSurgeon]

*hug*

[Jackalope]

Have another hug. I have nothing useful to add, but hugs are always nice.

[MTL]

*hug*

Aw *hugs back*