Fucked up things you did as a kid!

[MentalGiant]

Just for fun, share some of your stories about funny or fucked up things you did as a kid!

I'll start, when I was in 3rd grade I was so fed up with school that day I just wanted to go home but there had been a bunch of kids faking sick recently so I knew the standard "my tummy hurts" wouldn't work. Instead, I shoved a fork into the roof of my mouth as hard as I could. Naturally, it immediately started gushing blood and my mom had to come get me to take me to the doctor who couldn't figure out how I had 'accidentally' caused that much damage. Never did let on it was on purpose   Got me out of school for 2 days.

[Minimalist]

Too long ago.... can't remember.

[robvalue]

I used to somersault and land flat on my back in the playground (which was like tarmac). It never seemed to hurt me.

This eventually evolved into doing wrestling moves on myself such as choke slams and snapmares.

I've been told I used to urinate out of my window into the neighbour's garden! And also that I was so ridiculously likely to wander off that I had to put on child reigns.

PS: oh yeah, I was also something of a klepto. I've no idea what that was about.

[MentalGiant]

I used to somersault and land flat on my back in the playground (which was like tarmac). It never seemed to hurt me.

This eventually evolved into doing wrestling moves on myself such as choke slams and snapmares.

I've been told I used to urinate out of my window into the neighbour's garden! And also that I was so ridiculously likely to wander off that I had to put on child reigns.

Lol @ pissing in the neighbors garden. Did you not like the neighbor? 

I went to get a ball that rolled literally a couple feet over the property line into the neighbors yard once and she came running over with a broom and chased me through my yard to the door and started screaming at my mom. I had never set foot in her yard until then, but after that I made sure to sneak in her yard and fuck stuff up on a fairly regular basis. Bitch. 

I also had a leash as a young child  My parents were afraid of kidnappers and rapists when we were in large crowds

[TheRealJoeFish]

Just for fun, share some of your stories about funny or fucked up things you did as a kid!

I'll start, when I was in 3rd grade I was so fed up with school that day I just wanted to go home but there had been a bunch of kids faking sick recently so I knew the standard "my tummy hurts" wouldn't work. Instead, I shoved a fork into the roof of my mouth as hard as I could. Naturally, it immediately started gushing blood and my mom had to come get me to take me to the doctor who couldn't figure out how I had 'accidentally' caused that much damage. Never did let on it was on purpose   Got me out of school for 2 days.

Hahaha... in this vain, on a couple of occasions I brushed my teeth with handsoap to induce vomiting and get out of school.

Also, right after I was potty trained I would always make sure my mom knew I was going to the bathroom, and one time I was naked but didn't want to go to the bathroom without telling her so I ran to yell down the basement stairs and pooped on the floor.

[robvalue]

Haha! I can't remember doing it, as far as I know I liked the neighbours. More likely I thought it was funny!

[Iroscato]

I was a bit of a class clown at school. One of my fondest memories is telling a teacher to SUCK MAH TITTIES!!! in my best Fat Bastard (Austin Powers) voice

Generally I was a pretty good kid, I could just be a bit of shit in class, especially if there was a cover teacher. I guess I feel bad, but most of them were arseholes anyway.

[Marsellus Wallace]

I caused my twin sister to go to the hospital twice. first time, we were very young, we were in class room, she didn't want to give me the paper i asked for, so i stabbed her thumb with a pencil. the second time, we were a little older, she was running after me, so I flipped the big metal chair(that she was behind) by just standing at it edge(physics yo), the chair fell on her head, her head started bleeding and she was sent to the hospital, the funny part is that she was treated both of the times by the same doctor and that doctor is the mother of a friend of mine in school.

[abaris]

We weren't really kids anymore, but at the age of 18, one night we went on a rampage and visited everyone we hated. What sticks out most was one of us taking a liquishit over the vents of our chemistry teachers car. He sure was in for a pleasant surprise when next turning on the heater.

When we were really kids, we had some kind of shoplifting contest going. Winner was who could steal most within a week. Throwing dog turds through opened windows also was a popular sport.

[The Valkyrie]

I can't talk about things like that.

Those records are sealed by the court.