Funny Stories

[Minimalist]

I believe a total of three of us had piss soaked socks.

That's what you get for not walking the dog.

[Shell B]

I believe a total of three of us had piss soaked socks.

That's what you get for not walking the dog.

It's his job to tell me when he needs to go out. Wait, he's not even my dog.

[Rev. Rye]

I have some stories of people in High School, when I had no choice of being surrounded by idiots. Many of them involve students suddenly bursting into laughter due to the teacher saying something that could count as being "dirty," like "don't just say it, do it", or (in an example which just boggles my mind) "exist." Some of them involve people who are hell-bent on drawing penises on every available surface, from their papers to the wall to carving it into their desks, sort of like that one episode of South Park where the boys become obsessed with breasts.

One story which doesn't fit into either one: in my pre-calculus class Junior year, there was one student who had a habit of shouting "BWAAAAAA-HAAAAAAA!" in the passing period, but then, on the last day of classes, the boy managed to sustain his shout for much longer than usual. And, as you can imagine, he got caught, and it turned out to be a boy who had a reputation for being an obnoxious ass.

And I'm not sure whether this is too much of an in-joke, but here goes: In a theatre class I had to take for filler in my last semester of high school, I was taught by an extremely tiny Jewish (a factoid I only mention because she managed to squeeze that factoid into every class she managed to show up for) girl, who, to look at her, you would swear looked like she was only about eight years old, and, oddly enough, to hear her voice and to hear her rave about how much she loved High School Musical, your opinion would only be reinforced. Anyway, for her class, I had to go to three plays, and one of the ones I chose to go to was a production of Macbeth, and, in my review of it, I compared the acting of the porter in the gate-knocking scene in Macbeth to Tom Waits' performance as Renfield in Coppola's Dracula, and she liked that part of the review, because, as it turned out, she was a big fan of Tom Waits' music career, and I told her, "Wow. I didn't think Tom Waits would be the kind of music an Eight-year-old girl would listen to."

[Samson]

Rev, did that 8 year old reach up and slap the hell out of you.....LOLOL

When I was in school, if I would have made a comment like that, I probably would have been picking my jaw up off the floor.....

[Minimalist]

I believe a total of three of us had piss soaked socks.

That's what you get for not walking the dog.

It's his job to tell me when he needs to go out. Wait, he's not even my dog.

Yes but they are your socks. See how that works?

[Rev. Rye]

Rev, did that 8 year old reach up and slap the hell out of you.....LOLOL

When I was in school, if I would have made a comment like that, I probably would have been picking my jaw up off the floor.....

No, she didn't. She only seemed to get angry when she thought she was being called fat. And somewhat bizarrely, I was one of her favorite students, even after I attempted to tape her hands and feet to a coat hanger rack (yes, I have some issues), stopping after she expressed arousal at the thought of it. And no, as it turns out, she wasn't actually eight, she was, in fact, twenty years older than she looked, and even got married shortly before she started teaching, which, oddly, didn't stop her from flirting with most of the guys in the class.

[Samson]

That is just wrong and hilarious all in one....

Hell, when I was a freshman in HS, we had an English Teacher that, not only, wore short skirts all the time, but would hop up to sit on her desk, which would hike her skirt up even further to reveal one side of her garter belt.......Yeah....I still have those images embedded to this day.....No comment......LOLOL..

[mem]

[I don't have any RL friends.

What is RL?

[Pippy]

Real Life. Pics or it didn't happen.

We have a running game at the grocery store called "dare you to eat that". You can guess the rules and such. The newest craze, after clam juice and polenta are these little juice boxes with a picture of a cat upon it, clearly labeled Cat Milk. What comes to your mind?

[Rev. Rye]

Some more funny stories from my high school. For junior year, we had to take a class called "ethics and morality." In essence, it was an ethics class that was heavily skewed towards Catholic doctrine. Since I went to a Catholic school, there was nothing unusual about this. We had this teacher Mr. H, who was an extremely devout Conservative Catholic who insisted, despite all evidence to the contrary, that abortion caused breast cancer and that abstinence-only education works. Many of the students had a fun time acting in their typical barely-closeted-gay frat boy personae, asking questions that would shock their teacher.

In one instance, one of the boys was talking about how somebody he knew was actually proud, to a degree, of crapping his pants (no, this does not make sense), and Mr. H deadpanned "and the main cause of incontinence these days is....," while most of the class just shouted "BUTT SEX! YEAH!" as if they were cheering on some sort of team in a sports bar. And sometimes, they would ask questions about things they saw on television, like the Penis Fish on Grey's Anatomy, or the Easter plot from South Park (yes, they really asked if St. Peter was really a rabbit.) And on one occasion, it was let out that some of these people didn't even know the female reproductive system that well, and after sketching a rudimentary diagram of the female reproductive system, one of the guys asked "Is that a penis?" of the woman's vagina.

In truth, I even joined in on some of it, but I did it with a persona of my own. I would ask questions like "Does the Church frown on having sex with your wife after she dies?" And I learned something very important that day, people will not bully you if they think you're open to having sex with a dead body.

He would not return the year after that, as he was caught exposing himself to teenaged girls (no, before you ask, he was not a priest, but a layman, who had already had a son.)