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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 10:44 am
most of those songs were written in a completely different time. how can anyone honestly say because our understanding of certain words today had those meanings when they were written? (All except the casting crowns song/if that were real they should be ashamed  ).
Oh, and the first time I ever heard/had to sing "He touched me" I almost had a stroke trying not to laugh.
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 10:45 am
(This post was last modified: November 19, 2015 at 10:46 am by Homeless Nutter.)
(November 18, 2015 at 4:30 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Whats the joke again, the difference between writing pop and devotionals is a "jesus" in place of "baby", Let's give it a go.
-Yeah, sounds about right. Solid, fucking, gold baby.
Yup. Many a true classic were born this way. My favorites include Jesus Got Back, by Sir Mix-a-Lot, Bang Bang (My Jesus Shot Me Down), by Nancy Sinatra, KKK Took My Jesus Away, by the Ramones, Ice Ice Jesus, by Vanilla Ice, Hey Jesus (Drop It To The Floor), by Pitbull and By The Rivers Of Jesus-lon, by Boney M. 
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 11:12 am
(This post was last modified: November 19, 2015 at 11:14 am by Athene.)
Hall and Oates' "Baby Come Back" works well.
Jesus come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Jesus come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 11:15 am
(This post was last modified: November 19, 2015 at 11:19 am by The Grand Nudger.)
If we could get some talent we'd have ourselves a hit christian label on these boards. The bar is low and the musical theory has been established. We'd be the Post Modern Jukebox of devotionals. I'm tempted to do some of these conversions in bluegrass, for the enjoyment of the boards. Anybody play the banjo? I've got the rhythm if you've got the melody.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 11:16 am
Oh what have I done? Now we have a thread creating hymns out of modern pop hits (and a lot of the suggestions are pretty damn good) AND I kudo'd Drich . . .
 
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 11:28 am
What you need is super-sexy yet modestly dressed, somewhat racially ambiguous, Christian convert with a slightly harrowing backstory. Only mediocre singing ability required...the studio can clean that up. A little crying would take care of the live performances.
Cha-ching!
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 7:57 pm
(November 18, 2015 at 4:30 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Whats the joke again, the difference between writing pop and devotionals is a "jesus" in place of "baby", Let's give it a go.
Sweet sixteen and we had arrived
Jesus's table dancin' at the local dive
Cheering our names in the pink spotlight
Drinkin' cherry schnapps in the velvet night
It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you wanna do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
Jesus, now you do
Hello, hello, Jesus, you called?
I can't hear a thing
I have got no service
In the club, you say? say?
Wha-wha-what did you say, huh?
You're breakin' up on me
Sorry I cannot hear you
I'm kinda busy
Kinda busy
Kinda busy
Sorry I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy
I know you're lyin
'Cause your lips are movin
Tell me do you think I'm dumb?
I might be young
But I ain't stupid
Talking round in circles with your tongue
I gave you bass, you gave me sweet talk
Saying how I'm your number one
But I know you're lyin
'Cause your lips are movin
Jesus, don't ya know I'm done
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 8:23 pm
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 19, 2015 at 8:33 pm
(November 19, 2015 at 11:15 am)Rhythm Wrote: If we could get some talent we'd have ourselves a hit christian label on these boards. The bar is low and the musical theory has been established. We'd be the Post Modern Jukebox of devotionals. I'm tempted to do some of these conversions in bluegrass, for the enjoyment of the boards. Anybody play the banjo? I've got the rhythm if you've got the melody.
I have a good keyboard, and I know robvalue plays too. Thump clearly has guitar chops. We need a percussionist, and a pure-looking (whatever that means but with sex appeal!) good singer. Absolute requirement: some backwards and subliminal messages hidden in the mix.  Become the newest "hot" Xtian band for a few years, then tell everyone we met on AF.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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RE: sexual themes in Protestant hymns
November 20, 2015 at 6:23 am
There was a farmer, had a dog,
and Jesus was his name-o.
J - E - S - U - S
J - E - S - U - S
J - E - S - U - S
And Jesus was his name-o...
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw
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