Feeling glorious. Mailed my transcripts to Pearson-Vue today. I should expect to see my physical license in the mail sometime next week. I am so excited to begin this next adventure in my life!
It feels so good to tell people that I am now licensed to do hair. All my life, my mother told me what a failure I was and because of that, I never really accomplished much beyond being a mom. She continually put me down and when I wanted to learn something new, she would tell me things like "there's no money in that", "just with anything else you've done, you'll fail at this too", or "I don't think you can do that." So finishing school and getting my license was a huge boost to my self esteem.
Not that I would ever tell her of my accomplishments now ( I haven't spoken to her in seven years), but it really feels good to silently get in a "fuck you" towards her and the way she mistreated me growing up. She will never get to take away my moment of feeling happy and proud of myself for finishing school. And yes - this is MY moment. I worked hard for this. The struggles have been all too real.
The first five months of school, we were living in a motel because of landlord retaliation and couldn't find a place to move to. All through that, I never gave up. I went to school at nights and studied. When I needed to be online, I went to the nearest restaurant, bought a cup of coffee and used their wifi. After a while, they got used to seeing me in there and would just have my favorite table available so I could plug in my laptop or tablet.
We finally got a place to live and then my ex decided to drag me back to court for a custody change. I made it past that, despite losing more time with my youngest. Meanwhile, I was not able to see my oldest. Many of you know about that. I'm still not able to see her and it pains me every day to know that she's three miles from me and I have been cut out of her life.
But still I pressed on. I continued to go to school. In March of last year, I finally made it to the senior level and went out on the salon floor. As scared as I was, it was a welcome distraction/diversion for all the stress around me. I was able to focus on my skills and I was finally allowed to take actual clients instead of constantly working on mannequins.
Over the summer of last year, Rob's ex decided to take him to court for a custody change. I was still in school at nights, so during the day, I was filing his papers and basically acting as his lawyer, typing up memorandums and gathering up evidence for court. In December, I made the decision to start attending school during the day so I could get done faster. It was hard juggling Rob's work schedule and my school schedule with only one car, but we did it. Even after the custody hearing (we were awarded with equal time with the boys), I then had to juggle Rob's work, my school and not only two different school districts (my youngest step son is in one district and my youngest daughter is in the one we live in now), but my oldest stepson attends a vo-tech high school which operates entirely on their own schedule, separate from any of the school districts in the county. All with one car.
There was also my youngest stepson's wrestling schedule to deal with as well. So I was really busy. Let's throw in the fact that my tablet stopped working in August. My tablet contained my textbooks for school. I don't know how I made it through, but I was able to complete my studies without the use of my tablet.
In the end, I finished school with a 95.67% academic grade - the lowest I had since starting school. I passed my state boards in January and finished my hourly requirements this past Monday. It's been a hell of a ride, but I'm glad it's over and I can finally focus on spending time with my family and start looking for a rewarding job.
My kids have been able to see their mom not only start something - but finish it as well. They have missed out on time with me because most nights at school, I wasn't getting home until after 11pm. I was up until 2am studying for a test or for practicals. I missed out on dinners, school events and other things in their lives. They truly know what a sacrifice it has been to get to this point. But... They also know that when they each graduate from high school - they won't have to pay for college. I will be making more than enough money to send them all to college and even if I can't - I will be the one taking out the student loans for them to go. That sort of debt is not something I want them saddled with as they become adults. And I will happily shoulder that alone if I have to. It's honestly been weird putting myself first for the last 20 months. It will be nice to get back to normal.
And I need to give several people here a shout out. For everyone who gave me words of encouragement, praise, acknowledgement for my smallest accomplishments - thank you. Thank you for giving me the push I needed to continue. Sometimes I felt like dropping school because I didn't think there was a light at the end of the tunnel. There were days where I thought I would never see my graduation. Several members here gave me that push to keep going. Your words have been kind. So my diploma is also for you. Because without you guys, I wouldn't be typing this post and I most certainly wouldn't be where I am now. You are my extended family and I love you guys more than you may realize.
It feels so good to tell people that I am now licensed to do hair. All my life, my mother told me what a failure I was and because of that, I never really accomplished much beyond being a mom. She continually put me down and when I wanted to learn something new, she would tell me things like "there's no money in that", "just with anything else you've done, you'll fail at this too", or "I don't think you can do that." So finishing school and getting my license was a huge boost to my self esteem.
Not that I would ever tell her of my accomplishments now ( I haven't spoken to her in seven years), but it really feels good to silently get in a "fuck you" towards her and the way she mistreated me growing up. She will never get to take away my moment of feeling happy and proud of myself for finishing school. And yes - this is MY moment. I worked hard for this. The struggles have been all too real.
The first five months of school, we were living in a motel because of landlord retaliation and couldn't find a place to move to. All through that, I never gave up. I went to school at nights and studied. When I needed to be online, I went to the nearest restaurant, bought a cup of coffee and used their wifi. After a while, they got used to seeing me in there and would just have my favorite table available so I could plug in my laptop or tablet.
We finally got a place to live and then my ex decided to drag me back to court for a custody change. I made it past that, despite losing more time with my youngest. Meanwhile, I was not able to see my oldest. Many of you know about that. I'm still not able to see her and it pains me every day to know that she's three miles from me and I have been cut out of her life.
But still I pressed on. I continued to go to school. In March of last year, I finally made it to the senior level and went out on the salon floor. As scared as I was, it was a welcome distraction/diversion for all the stress around me. I was able to focus on my skills and I was finally allowed to take actual clients instead of constantly working on mannequins.
Over the summer of last year, Rob's ex decided to take him to court for a custody change. I was still in school at nights, so during the day, I was filing his papers and basically acting as his lawyer, typing up memorandums and gathering up evidence for court. In December, I made the decision to start attending school during the day so I could get done faster. It was hard juggling Rob's work schedule and my school schedule with only one car, but we did it. Even after the custody hearing (we were awarded with equal time with the boys), I then had to juggle Rob's work, my school and not only two different school districts (my youngest step son is in one district and my youngest daughter is in the one we live in now), but my oldest stepson attends a vo-tech high school which operates entirely on their own schedule, separate from any of the school districts in the county. All with one car.
There was also my youngest stepson's wrestling schedule to deal with as well. So I was really busy. Let's throw in the fact that my tablet stopped working in August. My tablet contained my textbooks for school. I don't know how I made it through, but I was able to complete my studies without the use of my tablet.
In the end, I finished school with a 95.67% academic grade - the lowest I had since starting school. I passed my state boards in January and finished my hourly requirements this past Monday. It's been a hell of a ride, but I'm glad it's over and I can finally focus on spending time with my family and start looking for a rewarding job.
My kids have been able to see their mom not only start something - but finish it as well. They have missed out on time with me because most nights at school, I wasn't getting home until after 11pm. I was up until 2am studying for a test or for practicals. I missed out on dinners, school events and other things in their lives. They truly know what a sacrifice it has been to get to this point. But... They also know that when they each graduate from high school - they won't have to pay for college. I will be making more than enough money to send them all to college and even if I can't - I will be the one taking out the student loans for them to go. That sort of debt is not something I want them saddled with as they become adults. And I will happily shoulder that alone if I have to. It's honestly been weird putting myself first for the last 20 months. It will be nice to get back to normal.
And I need to give several people here a shout out. For everyone who gave me words of encouragement, praise, acknowledgement for my smallest accomplishments - thank you. Thank you for giving me the push I needed to continue. Sometimes I felt like dropping school because I didn't think there was a light at the end of the tunnel. There were days where I thought I would never see my graduation. Several members here gave me that push to keep going. Your words have been kind. So my diploma is also for you. Because without you guys, I wouldn't be typing this post and I most certainly wouldn't be where I am now. You are my extended family and I love you guys more than you may realize.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
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