Why are there no help hotlines for bullies?

[Heat]

I may have mispoke.

I never said any of that. Stop misrepresenting me.


I clearly mentioned numerous times I was in no way giving justification to bullying, the bad guy is very clear. However, that's not even the point I was addressing. I was not giving my opinion on the action itself, but the underlying cause. I'm not saying that it is in any way the victim's fault. I'm saying the fact of the matter is that the bully initiated the attack because in most circumstances he will be the one with the most problems. So we should treat each persons problems with the same importance. I am not suggesting that the victim deserved any of the attacks. I am simply saying that they are each different situations and are not linear like we are lead to believe. For the past many many years, we have swiftly scolded the bully as acting out for no reason, and have focused all our efforts on the victim. We have not even considered the fact that the bully may have serious issues himself. We have targeted all our ads toward saying bullying is bad.


The difference is that we have always targeted ads, hotlines, websites, help groups towards bullying prevention, and the victim speaking up. Although this may be effective, it is doing nothing to stop the bully from bullying in the first place.

You compared a bully to a victim the moment you asked, and I quote: 

Is that not the same with the victim?

 

And you asked that because I said this: 

Unfortunately, the bully would have to admit that this is what they are. Sadly, denial happens. No one really knows what goes on inside the heads of bullies to truly understand why they do the things they do. And actually, there are anger management programs that could possibly help. But that crucial first step is in getting the bully to admit that he is one and then further convince them that they need help.

So, it was not a mis-representation. All I did was take that comparison one step farther and expand on why it's unfair to do that. It's called furthering the discussion.

You are literally misrepresenting me still!

I said is it not the same with the victim, because no one wants to admit they have a fault. Fault = being bullied, as in, something negative about them or what's happening to them. I did not mean to say fault as in "Their fault", simply something they have trouble talking about.

And I said "is it not the same with the victim" AS IN IS IT NOT THE SAME, THAT THEY ARE BOTH UNWILLING AND UNWANTING TO ADMIT AND TALK ABOUT IT??!?! BECAUSE IF THE VICTIM DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, BUT THERE ARE STILL ALL THESE HOTLINES, THE BULLY CAN BE HELPED EVEN IF THEY DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT EITHER.

You did not take the discussion further. Once again you refused to quote the entire surrounding body and only quoted a small portion using that to manipulate my opinions like the quote miner you are. You never proposed anything about who's fault it was. So my response "Is it not the same with the victim" is completely misrepresentation/assumption to take that and think I am saying it's the victims fault as the point was never even addressed in the first place.


Can you like be required to quote all of what the person says? Because this is frustrating, and frankly disrespectful.

[Heat]

LOL I'm the angry one, yet I'm not the one bolding and capping most of my words. Interesting. Whatever. People can read for themselves how you did an about face when presented with your own words. You didn't state anything about not blaming the victim until post #15 which came AFTER your question which essentially was comparing a victim to a bully. I won't re-hash this with you, as I can clearly see you are getting ready to demonstrate some anger issues. I simply presented a statement of opinion on how difficult it might be to get a bully to admit to being a bully and you just went into a tizzy from there. I wasn't even addressing that particular comment at you, but you somehow feel the need to just circumvent everything and act as I put words in your mouth, which I didn't. I was expanding on the conversation, which is what most normal, rational thinking people do when presenting a discussion. Opinions get stated and it goes on from there. If you can't do it without bolding and using all caps in your posts, then I'm not the angry person, you are.

Oh yes, you didn't even bring up who's "Fault it was" but clearly that's where the question was aimed at.

Clearly that's the only point that question could even address. Obviously.


God, like, are you blind?

[Joods]

The dynamics of how quoting someone were changed when the site went to a new server. It was reduced to being able to only quote the last two commenters within a reply. To quote anyone else, you actually have to scroll to their post, highlight what you want to quote, and quote them in your response yourself. They did it this way because it was rather redundant to see miles and miles of quoting that had nothing to do with a person's reply. I am on a tablet and do not have the luxury of a mouse so that I can copy and paste or drag what I want to the reply box. I quote directly what I am responding to unless it's obvious. I don't need to show what someone said three quotes back, as I am not responding to that. I also don't owe anyone any explanation for how I quote people. Certainly I am not the only person here who has ever cut out parts of a lengthy response to shorten the reading someone has to do. Especially if the response is in regards to a particular part of someone else's post. It's rather redundant to have to keep reading what has already been read.

[Losty]

I fail to see why providing help for bullies discounts the suffering of the victims.

[Joods]

I fail to see why providing help for bullies discounts the suffering of the victims.

It doesn't. There should be more access to help for bullies. Our school district has a "no place for hate" campaign going and while it helps those who are bullied, it also provides help to the bullies. Outside of counselling and therapy services, such as anger management programs, I don't see where there are other programs that could be specific to helping out a bully, at least in my area. Sadly, they just aren't as common as programs for victims.

[Heat]

I fail to see why providing help for bullies discounts the suffering of the victims.

It doesnt?

[Losty]

I fail to see why providing help for bullies discounts the suffering of the victims.

It doesnt?

Just ignore me. I feel like I misread someone's post but I don't remember anymore lol.

[Heat]

It doesnt?

Just ignore me. I feel like I misread someone's post but I don't remember anymore lol.

I was going to get really mad a you and start cursing because you misrepresented me, and Judi misrepresented me like every post before, but I calmed down. I don't know why I just can't handle people accusing me of things I didn't say, especially we I try my best to understand their position I can't understand how they don't see the glaring contradiction in what they're attempting to say I claimed when I will specifically address that exact thing in my post to avoid things like that.

Sorry, it's not your fault, it's just my own immaturity.

[Joods]

Wow. Passive aggressive much?

[Losty]

Just ignore me. I feel like I misread someone's post but I don't remember anymore lol.

I was going to get really mad a you and start cursing because you misrepresented me, and Judi misrepresented me like every post before, but I calmed down. I don't know why I just can't handle people accusing me of things I didn't say, especially we I try my best to understand their position I can't understand how they don't see the glaring contradiction in what they're attempting to say I claimed when I will specifically address that exact thing in my post to avoid things like that.

Sorry, it's not your fault, it's just my own immaturity.

I've gone too long without sleep. I don't think it was your post that I misread but it very well could have been. Sorry