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The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
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Aractus: There are ways of telling whether he is god.
Roby Pants: Are there? Oh well, tell us. Aractus: Tell me. What do you do with gods? Roby Pants: Pray to them. Aractus: And what do you pray to, apart from gods? Roby Pants: tutles. Stimbo: Wood. Aractus: Good. Now, why do Gods want to be prayed to? Vorlon: ...because they're made of... wood? Aractus: Good. So how do you tell whether he is made of wood? Roby Pants: Build a bridge out of him. Aractus: But can you not also build bridges out of stone? Roby Pants: Oh yeah. Aractus: Does wood sink in water? Roby Pants: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw him into the pond! Aractus: No, no. What else floats in water? Roby Pants: Bread. Stimbo: Apples. Vorlon: Very small rocks. Roby Pants: Cider. Stimbo: Gravy. Vorlon: Cherries. Roby Pants: Mud. Stimbo: Churches. Vorlon: Lead! Lead! Losty: A Duck. Aractus: ...Exactly. So, logically... Roby Pants: If he weighed the same as a duck... he's made of wood. Aractus: And therefore... Stimbo: ... GOD !! The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
 
No point. He'll get better.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Ah! Newt-on's ninth law.
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December 25, 2015 at 5:45 am
(This post was last modified: December 25, 2015 at 5:46 am by bennyboy.)
(December 24, 2015 at 11:31 pm)Kitan Wrote:(December 24, 2015 at 11:30 pm)Quantum Wrote: [ On that note, anyone notice a pretty sad shortage of women at the last supper? It's almost like Jesus preferred the company of men. You know. . . dirty, sweaty men in togas, feeding each other finger foods. So I don't know if you qualify for deity, but I'd say "Jesus" you might have a fair chance at. Wait, I just realized-- Jesus wasn't the son of Mary. He WAS Mary. 
Ah. the last supper.
"Table for twenty-six, please!" "But there's only thirteen of you!" "Yes, but we'll all be sitting on the same side..." ![[Image: 2955654.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=usercontent1.hubimg.com%2F2955654.jpg)
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Yep,
finger foods and a bunch of wine. And then Jesus said: eat me !! The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
 (December 25, 2015 at 6:19 am)Stimbo Wrote: Ah. the last supper. This looks like the argument over the bill bit of the evening. "Hey who had the two shots of tequilla!" You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid. Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
"Oh, Jesus - who farted? That fucking stinks!"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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