Confessions of a former Christian fundamentalist.

[Jehanne]

Daniel Dennett's example of a parasite taking control of ant's brain certainly applied to me:

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_dennett_on...anguage=en


While I was in college, I attended a fundamentalist Baptist Church, the kind which believed in the 6-day, 4004 BC thingy.  I remember one time a professor at my school berating me, stating that, "This University has failed any student who believes in this (Biblical literalism)."  On one hand, I was ashamed of the fact that I was attending a regional university while, on Sundays, attending a fundamentalist Baptist Church.  The truth is, however, that I attended this church regularly so that I could meet other college women; I was lonely and I wanted a girlfriend.  While part of me knew that their beliefs were a bunch of bullshit, another part of me really tried to "believe" in it, or at least deceive others and myself into thinking that I truly did believe in it.  The women whom I wanted to date (with little success, by the way) were attractive and went to church in attractive, feminine skirts and dresses, which they did not, typically, wear while going to class.  And, I liked being around them.  But, as with the parasitic brain worm that takes control of an ant's brain, I was being, in some sense, "controlled" by my hormones, being led to "profess" a religion that, deep down, I knew was bullshit.  I shared many of my doubts with the college pastor of the church (it had several pastors), who told me, more or less, to engage in "self brain-washing" (of course, he did not use those exact words), by reading the likes of Josh McDowell and scores of Christian fundamentalist tracts, and to definitively not read anything contrary to Christian Biblical fundamentalism.  For awhile, I complied, being led by my weiner; however, the multimedia era in which we live caught up with me (not to mention my college education) and overcame my desire to date feminine, skirt-wearing fundamentalist Christian women.  In the end, I had no choice but to conclude that Biblical fundamentalism was pure bullshit; my abandonment of theism would come later on.

[Brian37]

Welcome to the dark side Luke.

But while you speak of escaping Christianity, the same could be said for other religious fundamentalists including Jews and Muslims and Hindus and Buddhists. It is not impossible for other people worldwide to get so into a religion as to get violent for political reasons. You were lucky not to get to that point, and even more lucky to see through it and escape it.

If you have not, I always like to ad to the standard book "The God Delusion" By Richard Dawkins the following.

1. "The New Atheism" by Victor Stenger
2. "God The Failed Hypothesis" Victor Stenger
3. "Infidel" Ayaan Hirsi Ali
4. "The End of Faith" Sam Harris
5. "Letter to a Christian Nation" Sam Harris
6. "God Is Not Great" Christoper Hitchens
7. "2000 Years of Disbelief" James Haught

[Brian37]

Oh and be aware all religions, and I have been debating for almost 15 years, will either try to attack science and when they cant, will attempt to co opt science as if they alone are the gatekeepers. But I have seen that from all the world's religious followers from all the major religions.

[robvalue]

Welcome

Well done for fighting through and valueing truth over comfortable delusion. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

That sounds familiar and convincing to me, the self deluding part. I've experienced a lot of otherwise intelligent people who have obviously deliberately swallowed the most convincing sounding apologetics they can find, to rationalise their emotionally held belief. Of course, they may well not be consciously aware that's what they have done. The brain is good at fooling itself.

[Minimalist]

In the end, I had no choice but to conclude that Biblical fundamentalism was pure bullshit;

Welcome to freedom. 

You could have ended up like drippy or G-C.  What a horrible end!

[dyresand]

Welcome to the side of reason

[brewer]

Welcome! Good story.

Ya know, deprogramming and deflowering are not that far apart. If you get a chance, take it!

[Delicate]

Daniel Dennett's example of a parasite taking control of ant's brain certainly applied to me:

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_dennett_on...anguage=en


While I was in college, I attended a fundamentalist Baptist Church, the kind which believed in the 6-day, 4004 BC thingy.  I remember one time a professor at my school berating me, stating that, "This University has failed any student who believes in this (Biblical literalism)."  On one hand, I was ashamed of the fact that I was attending a regional university while, on Sundays, attending a fundamentalist Baptist Church.  The truth is, however, that I attended this church regularly so that I could meet other college women; I was lonely and I wanted a girlfriend.  While part of me knew that their beliefs were a bunch of bullshit, another part of me really tried to "believe" in it, or at least deceive others and myself into thinking that I truly did believe in it.  The women whom I wanted to date (with little success, by the way) were attractive and went to church in attractive, feminine skirts and dresses, which they did not, typically, wear while going to class.  And, I liked being around them.  But, as with the parasitic brain worm that takes control of an ant's brain, I was being, in some sense, "controlled" by my hormones, being led to "profess" a religion that, deep down, I knew was bullshit.  I shared many of my doubts with the college pastor of the church (it had several pastors), who told me, more or less, to engage in "self brain-washing" (of course, he did not use those exact words), by reading the likes of Josh McDowell and scores of Christian fundamentalist tracts, and to definitively not read anything contrary to Christian Biblical fundamentalism.  For awhile, I complied, being led by my weiner; however, the multimedia era in which we live caught up with me (not to mention my college education) and overcame my desire to date feminine, skirt-wearing fundamentalist Christian women.  In the end, I had no choice but to conclude that Biblical fundamentalism was pure bullshit; my abandonment of theism would come later on.

So you never believed. You were just going to pick up chicks?

Sounds like the thread should have been titled "Confessions of a current atheist sexual predator"

[Minimalist]

Catholic priests use the same rationale to fuck altar boys.

[Jehanne]

So you never believed. You were just going to pick up chicks?

Sounds like the thread should have been titled "Confessions of a current atheist sexual predator"

"Yes and No"; I would best describe it as being cognitive dissonance.  On the one hand, I really wanted to be part of that church, for the community, and especially, yes, for the youth group and the chance to meet other adult women who were my age.  I was not a member of any fraternity and the school that I went to did not have a very big Greek system anyway.  Now, as for the "atheist sexual predator" part, again, the answer would be, "Yes and No."  On the on hand, I would never, ever force myself upon another individual (and, as I am heterosexual, that other individual would be an adult woman who was my age), but, yes, I was lonely, and so, yes, I attended church to be around other women who were my age (early 20s), with my goal being to date (and, perhaps, even marry) some (and, one) of them.  But, on the other hand, I was not a complete hypocrite, say, "An American atheist in the Bible Belt."  I did truly, for a few years, sincerely try to embrace Christian Biblical fundamentalism, but I could no more believe in that than I could hold my hand on a hot stove.  Finally, if I had succeeded and found a lifelong mate, well, it's easy to see how people get involved in Christian fundamentalism in their early 20s and stay in it in order to "please" someone.