Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[J a c k]

CIJS- it’s emotionally exhausting to send my kids to school every day praying to all the gods I don’t believe in that nothing bad will happen to them. Some days I just break down and cry. I don’t know how normal people deal with this. Seems like most people don’t even find it terrifying but I do.

Long winded monologue that pretty much says I understand you Losty.

---

I haven't told anyone this other than my husband but I cried when I found out I was having a girl and not a boy. It wasn't happy tears it was fear. I actually disconnected from her emotionally for months after. I went into the pregnancy wanting a baby and knowing that I had a 50/50 chance to have a girl but I kept saying my husband is the 8th of his name meaning for 8 generations his family has had boys. I picked out the nickname for a boy and all my images of my baby were of a boy. It wasn't just that I wanted a boy it was that I didn't want a girl because I couldn't handle someone hurting her like I was hurt as a child. When I was told she was a girl I broke down crying because everything that I had been stashing away in the back of my head came flooding in and I was so sure I could never protect her and I didn't want to even deal with the fear and anxiety of having a girl. I was outwardly happy about having a baby but I cried almost every night and didn't want to ever give birth to her because then she would be separated from me and I couldn't protect her.

I've always loved her more than anything but she gives me such anxiety and I didn't connect to her fully for two weeks. It was like my mind didn't want to get too attached to her so that it wouldn't hurt so much if something happened to her. I didn't let my husband really take care of her much and when he held her I was right there. One time he was trying to soothe her but he was getting frustrated because of lack of sleep. He didn't touch her but he got really upset, I took her from him and left. I just sat there holding her and crying hysterically because I didn't know how I was supposed to do this parent thing if I couldn't trust even her own father. He never did anything to make me not trust him but I didn't trust any man.

Since then I've had to leave her at daycare (crying hysterically for the first day, she only goes 1-3 days a week depending on Tony's schedule and yet I still am late to work every time because I have such a hard time leaving her) or leaving her with Tony. He is her father and he is such an amazing father so I leave her with him but every day when I get home I take her from him immediately and don't give her back. Half because I missed her half because... I reckon I trust him more now but I still prefer her with me over him. Her grandfather picks her up three times a month but it's literally just before the daycare closes and he keeps her in her seat until I get to the parking lot to pick her up. He is never alone with her in a private setting. The only person I've ever fully trusted is my mom, not even Tony's mom, just mine.

I reckon if I am at least functioning leaving her at daycare I will be ok with school but the daycare I know she isn't alone with men, I don't know how to make sure of that at school. Deep breath Mandy, that's in years. Let's just get through this situation before freaking out over the next.

---

Omg my heart! I love you guys.

[Little lunch]

Reminds of the time when my now ex-wife wanted to convince me of....well, something.  She gave me a Deepak Chopra book, can't recall the title, but I think it's still around here somewhere.

I'm guessing she didn't succeed

My brother has apparently become obsessed with this Peterson guy, which is a little worrying. He's rather vulnerable to this kind of thing. My stupid dad seems to be encouraging it too for some weird reason, and isn't providing a sanity balance for him. It probably won't lead to anything much though.

Which is all the more reason to read that book you were given so as to be able to debunk arguments you find unsound.
But I think the biggest worry about someone becoming obsessed with Jordan Peterson is that many of his arguments are posted onto youtube by right wing activists who think he's on their side.
So you can find a lot of right wing bullshit side by side with his videos.

[vorlon13]

Um . . .

Intersected briefly with that other weird timeline again. Second time in 3 years or so. Unsettling and disturbing. Found out my 'phantom' brother in law died recently. Quite an over achiever. Wonder if we would have gotten along? I barely remember him, damn it was 40 years ago, after all. Not a bad looking man, I'll give him that. His sis is married and divorced, I suppose best that could be hoped for. No desire to catch up with any of them. Both parents are dead, curious as I recall them being rather young, even 40 years back . . .

[Edwardo Piet]

My guess is that anything "smart" that comes out of his mouth is an idea he has stolen from somebody else.

When you see him have a conversation with someone who actually is smart, he quickly shows himself to be a complete moron.

Or maybe I just have high standards

I've seen his talk with Sam Harris and he comes across as a real dick.
But if you think he's a complete moron then it's obvious you've not really looked into him at all.

Actually if you think he isn't one, I guess you haven't really looked into him.

He says there are two different positions on truth, the Newtonian one and the Darwinian one, and neither of those things have ANYTHING to do with truth! One is physics and the other is biology! And he conflates theories of truth and theories of epistemological justification too! Anyone non-moronic who has read up on philosophy would understand this stuff. He has read up on it and hasn't understood any of it, because he's a moron.

Being a pseudo-intellectual that doesn't understand stuff you read up on, makes you a moron rather intelligent. At least that's the way I see it.

Either that or he's just doing a really good job of coming across as someone who doesn't even understand the very basics of the stuff he reads about and talks about!

I get that he's well read and educated... but whether he actually understands the stuff he reads about is another matter. I guess we have different views on what intelligence is.

[Little lunch]

I guess we just have differing ideas about what constitutes a complete moron.
So yes, your standards are extremely high.
I actually barely understand your first sentence anyway so I must be one of those things way lower down than moron.
Nevertheless, I still think if you delved a little further you might find some of his ideas interesting.

---

By the way, do you have a job at the moment, cause waitering is really, really easy I've heard. :-)

[Tiberius]

Very well, then.
Give people a contract for an average of $11.00 per hour, and start discouraging tips, countrywide. Clearly, the consumer is affording it, as well as the employers.

But, as for the present day reality, how do the employers account for the tips to reach that minimum of $7.25, if they are not declared by the employees?

Servers are supposed to report tips to their employer each month, unless the tips were less than $20 total for that month. Employers can do the calculation of minimum wage off that report.

If they are not declared by the employee the employee is breaking the law, plain and simple.

I usually tip via credit card, so the employee will know the tip amount anyway.

[*Deidre*]

CIJS, I missed this place, and most everyone here. But, why must there always be that one guy who is a jerk to me? And it's always someone I've never talked to before, and not even talking to within a thread. But, the person feels the need to be a jerk to me.

If you're reading this, don't quote me anymore, and stay away from me. I don't know you, and don't want to know you.

[The Valkyrie]

CIJS, I missed this place, and most everyone here. But, why must there always be that one guy who is a jerk to me? And it's always someone I've never talked to before, and not even talking to within a thread. But, the person feels the need to be a jerk to me.

If you're reading this, don't quote me anymore, and stay away from me. I don't know you, and don't want to know you.

Who am I killing?
😠😈

[*Deidre*]

CIJS, I missed this place, and most everyone here. But, why must there always be that one guy who is a jerk to me? And it's always someone I've never talked to before, and not even talking to within a thread. But, the person feels the need to be a jerk to me.

If you're reading this, don't quote me anymore, and stay away from me. I don't know you, and don't want to know you.

Who am I killing?
😠😈

I'd totally clone you. 

[Joods]

Who am I killing?
😠😈

I'd totally clone you. 

Ikr?
Not only is she smart, but she's hot too! Like OMG.