new atheist need advice

[Alex K]

Welcome!

what the others said

[Simon Moon]

I know you might have the desire to not live in secret with your beliefs (or lack of belief in gods), but make sure you weight the possible consequences before you come out.

Not only might you loose financial support, but some of your family and friends may not want to associate with you any longer. Make sure you are ready for such consequences.

You may want to google the Freedom From Religion Foundation. They are a good resource for recent rational thinkers.

Also, look for atheist meetups, and other groups in your area for moral support. Don't feel you have to do this on your own.

[afrist34]

You are all so incredibly kind and helpful; I can't tell you how much your responses mean to me, and the encouragement is wonderful!  Thank you, thank you.  To answer a few of you, I'm not dependent on my family, we are just incredibly close and I help out with some health problems.  So while I have stepped out on some issues that I knew would not be popular in the past, I'm so hesitant to speak out when they're already beyond stressed.  I know expressing yourself is not wrong, but I feel like sometimes circumstances are just so fragile that it might be best not to.

[mlmooney89]

It is good to know that you aren't in a bad spot shelter and money wise if they find out. Those are the hardest to get through physically. If it is just you trying to be kind to your family and not wanting to hear them preach might I suggest not having a 'coming outta the closet' moment but rather let them catch on? That might let them gradually become aware of it which might take the sting out a little.

[Spirian]

If you've moved on, you've moved on. Now move on. Leave it behind and don't take it all so seriously.

[Whateverist]

But obviously (s)he cares about the parents. Nothing wrong with that. You might adopt an anthropologist's perspective in regard to their religion. If you were studying some newly discovered bronze age tribe you wouldn't disparage their belief or emphasize what you lack in common, so why do it with the 'rents?

[Minimalist]

Are you old enough to get a job?  Find one that wants you to work on Sunday morning.  Great excuse for avoiding listening to silly bullshit spouted by some pompous ass who doesn't know what he is talking about.  What parent would dissuade a kid from working? 

Just understand that sooner or later they will catch on.  It will only go downhill from there.  You cannot change them.  You can only change yourself and you have already gone too far down the road of doing just that.

[SteelCurtain]

You are all so incredibly kind and helpful; I can't tell you how much your responses mean to me, and the encouragement is wonderful!  Thank you, thank you.  To answer a few of you, I'm not dependent on my family, we are just incredibly close and I help out with some health problems.  So while I have stepped out on some issues that I knew would not be popular in the past, I'm so hesitant to speak out when they're already beyond stressed.  I know expressing yourself is not wrong, but I feel like sometimes circumstances are just so fragile that it might be best not to.

Welcome!

I just wanted to say as an atheist, you're not required to do anything about said atheism. If you love your family and you think that coming out would put an unbearable strain on your relationship, then don't! I have the same sort of family. Highly religious, highly evangelical. I did come out (when I was 18 and at the Naval Academy and pissed off at my mom about something I can't even remember... :S) and it didn't go as poorly as I thought after an initial rush to save my soul. I ask enough uncomfortable questions that they'd rather not anymore.

Anyways, moral of the story: you do you. You don't have to come out right away, you don't have to ever come out. I live in Tennessee, and you wouldn't know I was an atheist unless you asked or said something stupid to me. Or saw my twitter/FB feed.

Again,

[Godscreated]

I became an atheist very recently.  I grew up evangelical Christian.  This past year I did a lot of questioning and searching and thought about joining different religions, but rejected this because I realized the same fundamental problems existed in each of them.  I tried universalism and agnosticism but eventually found myself confirmed in atheism.  Now I feel content in my beliefs but not at all comfortable sharing them with most of the people I know.  I’m very close with my parents and for those who know evangelical Christians pretty well you know that if they find out you don’t believe in their God they will evangelize you for the rest of their lives, even when you stand up for your right to dissent.  I don’t want to face that for the rest of my life with my parents yet I also hate living with a huge secret and really dislike still pretending to be a Christian.  Have any of you been in this situation –any advice?

 If you had been a Christian to start with you wouldn't be living with this guilt now, would you! Seems that being honest with yourself to start with (before your supposed de-conversion) would have you searching out why you lived so long in a Christian environment and never found the way to Christ. Maybe the real question for you is why are your parents so certain and you were not.
Welcome to the forum.

GC

[Minimalist]

Not everyone is as amenable to primitive bullshit as you, G-C.  Some people are just too smart for that shit.