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are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
(August 9, 2016 at 11:46 pm)bennyboy Wrote: Hmmm okay. To me asexual means not having sex or being compelled by sexual feelings. "Repression" sounds unnecessarily negative to me-- it usually involves guilt, disgust, or even the imposition of others, leading to an inability to sexual express oneself. Choosing not to have sexual feelings, to me, might better be called subversion-- but I think "choosing to be asexual" is good enough.

I like my terminology better than yours, but if we agree on the facts, then it doesn't really matter too much.

I'm no fan of Freud, but his term sublimation (already mentioned upthread, by Ham iirc) seems apt.

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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
I dare say it has something to do with one's actual experience of this phenomenon, so most people are simply going to keep missing the point on this.

That's fine. I don't know that I care enough to try and explain it.
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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
The point is you still have a sex drive, you can call yourself an asexual with a sex drive if you like but don't be surprised if many people's reactions are like "huh?"
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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
(August 10, 2016 at 12:41 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: The point is you still have a sex drive, you can call yourself an asexual with a sex drive if you like but don't be surprised if many people's reactions are like "huh?"

I have the instinct for violence, but I'm a non-violent person.  And by focusing on other behaviors, and establishing some self-discipline over my mind, I can even reduce the strength of that instinct, essentially down to zero.
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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
(August 10, 2016 at 12:41 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote: The point is you still have a sex drive, you can call yourself an asexual with a sex drive if you like but don't be surprised if many people's reactions are like "huh?"

But many(maybe even most) asexuals do have sex drives, so not calling them asexuals becomes an illogical thing to do.

You don't call heterosexuals who "experiment" once or twice gays, but they are for those few moments(if they enjoy it).
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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
Why are semantics being discussed here? Lots of hair splitting going on around here as of late. To me assexual is a person without sex drive. A person that has sex drive but doesn't have is a celibatary (sp?).
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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
Yes exactly, that's celibacy.
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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
Well, I think both sides of the discussion have fair points.

I suppose I myself think of asexuality upon the spectrum of clinical sexuality -- gay, straight, bi-, and asexual. But I can see the point that if you're not having sex and not preoccupied with seeking it you might call yourself asexual, not meaning it as a permanent sexual identity, but simply as a current state of mind.

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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
(August 10, 2016 at 1:46 am)LastPoet Wrote: Why are semantics being discussed here? Lots of hair splitting going on around here as of late. To me assexual is a person without sex drive. A person that has sex drive but doesn't have is a celibatary (sp?).

You can choose to minimize, or possibly completely sublimate, your sex drive.  In other words, you can make it so you do not have one.
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RE: are there any girls in the world that like shy guys?
Sublimating sexual energy is not removing your sex drive.
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