Disability is no excuse to not parent

[Joods]

Judi, I used to feel the same way about those leases. Lady came to pick up her daughter even day after school back in 1st grade, and her little twin boys were on leashes every day. I thought it vile, and my first reaction was to harshly judge the mom.

We used to walk part of the way home together, so I came to understand her situation a bit better. The twin boys were both challenged in some way, again nothing obvios to me so it could have been mental or just la k of disvipline, i dont know, but one day she didn't have them on the leash. One stayed with her pretty well but the other ran right out in the street in front of a school bus! I about had a heart ATTACK! The bus stopped in time, and the boy just stayed in the street til his older sister came and brought him back.

I still have no idea if she was just a bad lazy mom or if her kids were safer on leashes for a good reason. Leashing seems preferable to getting hit by a car or bus though, and now I feel a lot less certain of my position on child leashes.

That's an occurrence I can understand needing one...more than one kid can = difficulty. It's those parents who have one small toddler, that they can easily control with either a stroller (actually using the buckles correctly helps sometimes) or they can carry the kid. Putting them on a leash because you don't feel like being responsible and actually watching your own kid - those are the parents who irk me.

[brewer]

Sorry, I don't get you at all. I find your lack of tolerance disturbing.

Sure, let disabled kids steal your money, rob banks or your home because we have to be tolerant. There must be a limit to tolerance, otherwise the whole country will fall into chaos.

This kid is going to be beaten a lot in the future. It will start with food but later this won't be enough and no one will tolerate it for stealing.

Nice reductio ad absurdum. You do understand that what you watched was drama, acting, right? And that is why you didn't see him corrected, so that they could provoke a reaction for show.

If even acting, what did the kid do that was so horrible? Take a couple of fries, make some noise. If there, I would have considered this entertainment. Meal and a show.

If you don't take the disabled out into the world how will they ever learn? You can't teach this in a school. A school provides the same structured stable environment (building, people, routine, ..........) every day with only slight modifications. In the world they learn to cope with the new and different and unexpected.

Where limited tolerance needs to be applied is when "normal" people who know how they should behave but don't. Start there and give the disabled a break. I think that you can get over it and recover a lot faster and better than the disabled can.

If I remember correct, aren't you outside the social norm. Should I be intolerant of you? Should your community?

[Whateverist]

I love it.  My friend the conservative has a bleeding heart for special needs kids.  This is good.

But I confess I feel ambivalent about this.  I mean, if I'm out with my dogs off leash I feel responsible for what they do.  If they jump up on you with muddy paws, i've at least got to offer to get your clothes cleaned.  But with kids/people it is different.  Maybe it really does take a village to raise all our kids, especially those with behavioral disabilities.  If that's right it kind of points to what is off about strict libertarianism.  Maybe membership in the village does entail some responsibilities?

[brewer]

I love it.  My friend the conservative is has a bleeding heart for special needs kids.  This is good.

But I confess I feel ambivalent about this.  I mean, if I'm out with my dogs off leash I feel responsible for what they do.  If they jump up on you with muddy paws, i've at least got to offer to get your clothes cleaned.  But with kids/people it is different.  Maybe it really does take a village to raise all our kids, especially those with behavioral disabilities.  If that's right it kind of points to what is off about strict libertarianism.

Thanks Whats.

I used to consult with an institution that warehoused young adults that had varying degrees of mental disabilities. Most were there for life. Gives me a little more insight/empathy, maybe.

[rado84]

Sure, let disabled kids steal your money, rob banks or your home because we have to be tolerant. There must be a limit to tolerance, otherwise the whole country will fall into chaos.

This kid is going to be beaten a lot in the future. It will start with food but later this won't be enough and no one will tolerate it for stealing.

Nice reductio ad absurdum. You do understand that what you watched was drama, acting, right? And that is why you didn't see him corrected, so that they could provoke a reaction for show.

If even acting, what did the kid do that was so horrible? Take a couple of fries, make some noise. If there, I would have considered this entertainment. Meal and a show.

If you don't take the disabled out into the world how will they ever learn? You can't teach this in a school. A school provides the same structured stable environment (building, people, routine, ..........) every day with only slight modifications. In the world they learn to cope with the new and different and unexpected.

Where limited tolerance needs to be applied is when "normal" people who know how they should behave but don't. Start there and give the disabled a break. I think that you can get over it and recover a lot faster and better than the disabled can.

If I remember correct, aren't you outside the social norm. Should I be intolerant of you? Should your community?

I'm 3 miles away from any civilization, so not enough connection speed to watch any videos.

You can teach a kid right and wrong and you don't need a school for that.

[brewer]

Nice reductio ad absurdum. You do understand that what you watched was drama, acting, right? And that is why you didn't see him corrected, so that they could provoke a reaction for show.

If even acting, what did the kid do that was so horrible? Take a couple of fries, make some noise. If there, I would have considered this entertainment. Meal and a show.

If you don't take the disabled out into the world how will they ever learn? You can't teach this in a school. A school provides the same structured stable environment (building, people, routine, ..........) every day with only slight modifications. In the world they learn to cope with the new and different and unexpected.

Where limited tolerance needs to be applied is when "normal" people who know how they should behave but don't. Start there and give the disabled a break. I think that you can get over it and recover a lot faster and better than the disabled can.

If I remember correct, aren't you outside the social norm. Should I be intolerant of you? Should your community?

I'm 3 miles away from any civilization, so not enough connection speed to watch any videos.

You can teach a kid right and wrong and you don't need a school for that.

I agree, but I think that you have limited perspective/experience with people who have mental disabilities. The "school" angle related a BQ post.

Without seeing the vid our continued discussion is probably pointless. I'll agree to disagree.

[Regina]

Judi, I used to feel the same way about those leases. Lady came to pick up her daughter even day after school back in 1st grade, and her little twin boys were on leashes every day. I thought it vile, and my first reaction was to harshly judge the mom.

We used to walk part of the way home together, so I came to understand her situation a bit better. The twin boys were both challenged in some way, again nothing obvios to me so it could have been mental or just la k of disvipline, i dont know, but one day she didn't have them on the leash. One stayed with her pretty well but the other ran right out in the street in front of a school bus! I about had a heart ATTACK! The bus stopped in time, and the boy just stayed in the street til his older sister came and brought him back.

I still have no idea if she was just a bad lazy mom or if her kids were safer on leashes for a good reason. Leashing seems preferable to getting hit by a car or bus though, and now I feel a lot less certain of my position on child leashes.

LMAO Kevin Hart had me rolling with this video (warning, expletive language)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRZkhQDsta0

I vaguely remember when I was little, my Mom used to put a leash around my wrist when we'd go out together, and she did the same for my younger brother too when he was a toddler. Neither of us had major behaviour problems at the time (although my brother's severe ADHD later kicked in after). 

I guess since it happened to me, it's normal to me when I see parents put their little kids on a leash, almost to the degree where I really don't understand the offense some people take to it. I sit in the "never did me any harm" camp in my attitude to it. I guess it was a way to let me walk to build up the strength in my legs, but still with the security that I wouldn't disappear.

I just see it as harmless personally, big fuss about nothing.

[jason97931]

I have a cousin who has pretty severe autism. Hes 16-17 and he has the worst parents I have ever seen. Abusive father, delusional brain dead mother, I'll play csgo with his brother occasionally and all I can hear is their parents yelling in the background all the time. They pretty much hate him, they tried to get him arrested multiple times. His grandmother spoils the shit out of him to compensate for his parents who never do anything for him but that just makes it worse. Did I mention they are conspiracy theorist bible thumping Christians? Even though he acts like a prick sometimes I feel bad for him lol. Here is a facebook quote from his mother: "Heart math... I discovered back like years ago in 2009 that our heats generate a magnetic field which can interact with others fields near us. We can actually change a room simply by sharing the Love of Christ and letting it emanate from us." That should give you an idea of how stupid his mother is. His parents blame everything he does wrong on autism, but most of it is because of shitty parenting.

[Joods]

Hearing stuff like that makes my heart hurt for your cousin. Shame his parents weren't told to take a parenting class.