Asexual Love.

[emjay]

Why not spend the night in someone's arms having sex.  They can do all the work.  That's an option.  In my experience, it's one commonly opted -for-.

Nah, I guess I just prefer peace and tranquility... timeless moments. Sex is just too transient... so it has never really appealed to me that much. The only type that really does appeal, though I've never tried it, is tantric sex because I'd guess it would have that timeless quality.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Sexuality is a part of romance, to me. If I love a woman that way, I love a woman that way, too.

There are gals in my life whom I love, we're completely platonic and and I doubt I'd ever try to stretch that (imaginary?) boundary out. It could be romantic love given the right circumstances, but time and circumstances have made it not so. I'm cool with it.

But I'm a horndog, and if we love each other enough to sleep together, we'll damned well wake up to some wonderful morningsex. If she shows she ain't willing for that, she doesn't get in bed the night before.

[Losty]

I've got all sorts of asexual love and loveless sexual stuff going down already in my life. Romance? Meh

[Edwardo Piet]

Define romance I don't mean candle lit dinners, hehe.

I just mean more than friendship.

Plus wanting to kiss someone and feeling all tingly about it, nonsexually, hehe.

[Edwardo Piet]

Maybe I shoulda said "deep and tingly meaningful ongoing infatuation invested in a person + strong friendship" instead of "romance" or something. "Romance" is a vague word, hehe.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Define romance? I'll take a stab at it. It's a form of natural intoxication (Like the Allmans sang, "You're my blue sky, you're my sunny day / lord, you know it makes me high when you turn your love my way"). It's the delight of living inside the moment with each other, sharing little secrets no one else knows, not even your BFF. It's finding silence engaging enough that you don't want to disturb the moment. It is, sometimes, candlelit dinners, and other times her kissing your grimy face after you've worked on the car. It's strength and vulnerability rolled up in one.

Romance, at the end of it, is about casting aside doubt and chasing a shared vision. What is it? Christ, no one can really answer that, even I didn't here, because some things are ineffable. It's called falling in love for a reason. That reason is, you're a skydiver without a parachute.

[Athene]

Sexuality is a part of romance, to me. If I love a woman that way, I love a woman that way, too.

There are gals in my life whom I love, we're completely platonic and and I doubt I'd ever try to stretch that (imaginary?) boundary out. It could be romantic love given the right circumstances, but time and circumstances have made it not so. I'm cool with it.

But I'm a horndog, and if we love each other enough to sleep together, we'll damned well wake up to some wonderful morningsex. If she shows she ain't willing for that, she doesn't get in bed the night before.

Ideally (IMO), sex is a part of a close relationship. But, what if the person you were with could no longer get it on for some reason? 
Would you be willing to maintain/continue a relationship without sex, under those circumstances?

No right or wrong answer in my view, btw...I'm just asking out of general nosiness.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Sexuality is a part of romance, to me. If I love a woman that way, I love a woman that way, too.

There are gals in my life whom I love, we're completely platonic and and I doubt I'd ever try to stretch that (imaginary?) boundary out. It could be romantic love given the right circumstances, but time and circumstances have made it not so. I'm cool with it.

But I'm a horndog, and if we love each other enough to sleep together, we'll damned well wake up to some wonderful morningsex. If she shows she ain't willing for that, she doesn't get in bed the night before.

Ideally (IMO), sex is a part of a close relationship. But, what if the person you were with could no longer get it on for some reason? 
Would you be willing to maintain/continue a relationship without sex, under those circumstances?

No right or wrong answer in my view, btw...I'm just asking out of general nosiness.

I've failed at this. My son's mother was diagnosed with cancer the last year we were together, and that was a big part of our breakup. I couldn't take the anger she felt and expressed onto me at the shit sandwich life served her. Lord knows I tried ... but I failed. And it wasn't about sex, at all, but about emotional closeness -- and its slow demise, in that case. I bail out of situations where I feel unwanted, or unneeded, or useless, and that was one of them. And for that reason, neither of us could feel the emotional closeness that we each held requisite for good lovin'. The last two months we were together we didn't sleep in the same bed. I couldn't. The anger she vented not just at me but onto me made such a thought undoable. And no doubt she felt the same way about my defensiveness -- I mean, how attractive can that be?

I didn't leave because I wasn't getting any trim -- I left because the emotional atmosphere was unbreathable. I failed my own ideals in so doing, too. I was willing -- and tried -- to stay with her, and sex was not the issue. But in the end, I left, because while the right hand can take care of the sex drive for a time, what do we have to pick up the slack when emotionally we're not fulfilled?

So I guess my answer is "I don't know". Sometimes the same thing that takes sex out of the picture takes out a lot more than just the knocking of boots, y'know? My lover losing the ability to express her love physically wouldn't ruin our love ... but what about the emotions such a change causes, outside the bedroom?

So to answer your question -- in the abstract, no, the loss of sex wouldn't ruin the love. But how we two handle the emotions aroused by whatever inflicted such a grievous blow, well, that's where the rubber meets the road, now isn't it?

[bennyboy]

I happen to be as far from Asexual as you can get (Read that as: "Hammy is a very very dirty dirty filthy turtle."). But I was randomly wondering to myself how many highly (or moderately) sexual people here would be willing to have a romantic nonsexual/asexual relationship with someone else? Would you and could you do it?

What would the point be?  I could have a relationship with a woman and have it platonic.  But to act in a romantic way-- holding hands, deep personal conversations, etc.-- if there's no payoff, that's a lot of effort to put in for nothing.

[bennyboy]

Ideally (IMO), sex is a part of a close relationship. But, what if the person you were with could no longer get it on for some reason? 
Would you be willing to maintain/continue a relationship without sex, under those circumstances?

No right or wrong answer in my view, btw...I'm just asking out of general nosiness.

I'm a man. If my woman has holes anywhere in/on/near her body, then we are gonna "get it on." Whether she can have an orgasm, or even enjoy it, depends on her condition. But benny's getting some-- that's just the way it is.

And if I lose the ability to pitch a tent, and my woman is still sexual-- well, that's what tongues are for, and my slightly too-delicate fingertips, and various creamy, sticky or slippery fluids. A powerful female orgasm means that I MATTER, at least in a small way and for a small time, and I'd never give that up, in a million years.

The only thing that would slow me down is lack of interest. And if my woman had no INTEREST in sex, then I'd probably divide my life-- home duties with the wife, sexual adventure with Thailand hookers or something. Cuz nobody gets to ask someone ELSE not to have a sex life, no matter what the circumstances are.