Victim Blaming?

[Losty]

Meh I can see both sides. I'll just say...if I want to drink until I get black out drunk that's my damn choice as an adult. I am within my legal rights to drown myself in every last bottle and it doesn't mean anyone can rape me, kill me, or steal my car.

The reason people don't like this response is because it's only used for rape. If I drink myself into oblivion and someone comes in my house, takes my keys, and steals my car not one single person will be like "well...I mean, I'm not saying it's you're fault...but you could have protected yourself if you weren't so drunk".

[Arkilogue]

Yeah, since when is it fun to drink until you black out?   Why on earth would that be anyone's goal for their night?  [emoji848]

To forget.

Forgetting that there are predators in the night is Darwinian.

[Losty]

And I don't get the hate on getting black out drunk...you guys don't really think people do it to have a good time do you? I would wager that 99% of black out drunk cases are either people who do not know their own limits or people that fucking hate their life.

[Arkilogue]

Meh I can see both sides. I'll just say...if I want to drink until I get black out drunk that's my damn choice as an adult. I am within my legal rights to drown myself in every last bottle and it doesn't mean anyone can rape me, kill me, or steal my car.

The reason people don't like this response is because it's only used for rape. If I drink myself into oblivion and someone comes in my house, takes my keys, and steals my car not one single person will be like "well...I mean, I'm not saying it's you're fault...but you could have protected yourself if you weren't so drunk".

The bar is not your house.

[Losty]

Meh I can see both sides. I'll just say...if I want to drink until I get black out drunk that's my damn choice as an adult. I am within my legal rights to drown myself in every last bottle and it doesn't mean anyone can rape me, kill me, or steal my car.

The reason people don't like this response is because it's only used for rape. If I drink myself into oblivion and someone comes in my house, takes my keys, and steals my car not one single person will be like "well...I mean, I'm not saying it's you're fault...but you could have protected yourself if you weren't so drunk".

The bar is not your house.

Who says? And what is the relevance? Are you saying if I get completely fucked up at the bar then people will blame me if my car is stolen? Because I kind of doubt it.

[Thumpalumpacus]

It took a persistent ex- pointing out to me the dark side of my alcoholism (as if there's a bright side! Denial is a sonofabitch) to make me look at my drinking objectively. I'll always be grateful for her loving persistence even as my drinking destroyed our relationship ... and here we get to the crux of the matter: abusing any drug brings with it heightened risk of bad effects, and pointing that out is not the same as telling someone how they should enjoy themselves. It's simply pointing out a fact.

[Arkilogue]

And I don't get the hate on getting black out drunk...you guys don't really think people do it to have a good time do you? I would wager that 99% of black out drunk cases are either people who do not know their own limits or people that fucking hate their life.

I only have pity and great concern for people putting themselves in harms way. The social contract is written on tissue paper.

[paulpablo]

There's a vast array of situations this could apply to but in general it seems logical to me they its a good piece of advice to anyone to not get drunk to the point of black out.

It's always the rapists fault but rapists exist the same way people who steal exist.

I guess it's a tough topic though with a lot of complications.
I used to drink a fuck load when I was a teenager but then I'm not a woman, i imagine going out drinking as a woman is a whole other universe from my experience.

[Arkilogue]

The bar is not your house.

Who says? And what is the relevance? Are you saying if I get completely fucked up at the bar then people will blame me if my car is stolen? Because I kind of doubt it.

Consistency of metaphor is important: If you bring your blinged out car to an unofficial car show and leave it unattended with the keys in.....some one is going to ride it like they stole it.

Say I roll a huge snowball to the top of a mountain and leave it there. Later on the wind blows it down the slope, creating a avalanche that buries a house. Am I too blame?

[Losty]

And I don't get the hate on getting black out drunk...you guys don't really think people do it to have a good time do you? I would wager that 99% of black out drunk cases are either people who do not know their own limits or people that fucking hate their life.

I only have pity and great concern for people putting themselves in harms way. The social contract is written on tissue paper.

Same. There's telling people to be responsible to take care of themselves and to be safe. And then there's blaming people for the bad things that someone else did to them. One is fine, good even. The other is wrong. The reason people get up in arms about it is because so many people do the second one that some overly sensitive people think everyone is blaming people.