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How to become a Televangelist?
#21
RE: How to become a Televangelist?
You need to learn to speak in some version of extreme unction.  The classic version which still works well in the southern U.S. is to put an "uh'' at the end of every second or third word or so. Example-uh:

'The Lord-uh has spoken-uh to me today-uh! HaSaBanayUh(little tongues is always a good trick too). He tolduh me that your pensionuh checkuh needs to multiplyuh.Ifuh you send it touh meuh ....."

If you are in England you will need to learn the British COE version of extreme unction which can be learned from copying Michael Palin in the Holy Hand grenade scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOrgLj9lOwk

Oh! If you are a Catholic your pretty well fucked as to making it big as an evangelist. Pope needs new dresses and all. Can't have any celebrities in the pews. Your gonna have to convert to Pentecostal or Baptist or one of the other denominations that does not allow criticism of fellow members and allows you to self proclaim "anointed" status. "
Anointing" is very important (this does not mean"lubricated").
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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